Design

Have a Great Weekend.

Photo by Lucy Laucht

What are you up to this weekend? We’re visiting friends on the North Fork, and the boys are flipping out over getting to sleep in a bunk bed. Also, thank you for the funny, thoughtful and amazing comments on this sex post. So much advice and insight, it felt like the world’s best sleepover. :) If you’re in a blog-reading mood, here are a few fun links from around the web…

The trailer for Logan Lucky is compelling.

Ina Garten on the one ingredient she never uses. (Do you agree?)

Bravo to Allure for not using the words “anti-aging” anymore: “We’ll be making a concerted effort to stop shaming women for getting older, and to celebrate their beauty instead.”

An infertility mentorship program.

All I want to eat is this.

Traffic at the world’s craziest intersection.

This pretty shirt would be perfect for traveling.

Would you rather be the last days of summer or the first days of fall?

If you lose your wedding ring, look here.

We met the team behind Fabric life insurance the other day, and they were really smart and cool. Curious about it (especially because plans start at $6/month).

Signed up for the Wake Up newsletter, run by Sally Rumble, who has been educating herself on race relations, racial justice and privilege in America over the past eight years.

Plus, three reader comments:

Says Jessica on one easy way to have an orgasm: “Hope everyone gets a chance to read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski! I am midway through with a well-worn copy that has passed through the hands of four girlfriends. The author clears up common misconceptions and makes strides to personalize and authenticate women’s sexuality.”

Says Karen on birthday presents: “A few years ago, all the parents we know decided to do a used book exchange for each birthday. Every kid brings a gently used book, and then after cake, books are exchanged, so everyone goes home with a new one. So far, so good.”

Says Sarah on sure things: “If you had asked me before I got married, I’d have confidently told you, 100%, that my future child would be named Charlie. But my married last name is Brown, so Charlie went right out the window!”

Have a good one. xoxoxo

(Photo by Lucy Laucht.)

  1. Claire says...

    Thank you for posting about Fruitful Fertility. After your post, I signed up to get a mentor. I was matched with a wonderful person in my town. We have been to lunch twice now, and she has been so supportive. I also love their newsletter. It has a great collection of articles each month. Thank you!

  2. Casey says...

    So interesting about Ina and cilantro. I’ve heard her talk about that on TV. I think perhaps she has a gene mutation where she is more sensitive to cilantro that 23andMe will soon discover! Ha, like those people who sneeze when they look at a bright light. I love Ina but that has not been my experience with cilantro. Soap??

  3. Charlotte says...

    The used book exchange at birthday parties: genius! And something I’m definitely remembering for when I have children!

  4. H says...

    I never had a specific name picked out, but it’s a long-running tradition in my boyfriend’s family to have the same initials for every kid. Hopefully we’ll be able to break that tradition – let’s just say most boy names starting in J are names of idiot boys I went to school with :)

  5. Eleanor says...

    ha! that intersection in Addis Ababa is part of my commute. they have added stoplights (that are red for four minutes at a time!). I kind of miss the free-for-all.

  6. Reading this on Monday and enjoying the laughs :)

  7. Mary D says...

    Where is/what is “on the North Fork”??

  8. That salad looks amazing! I just stocked up on tomatoes today at the farmer’s market so I can make it! Peaceofmom.com

  9. Laura says...

    Cilantro tasting like soap is actually a recessive gene. Same with broccoli tasting metallic. I learned about these in a graduate school genetics class. You can do a Punnet Square to find out the liklihood of passing on this genetic quirck.

    • Em says...

      Yup! I have this gene. It tastes like straight up dish detergent to me. So strange.

  10. I was not aware of fabric insurance. It’s a great thought.

  11. I absolutely love Karen’s ‘book exchange’ birthday party idea :-) Wouldn’t this be great at adult dinner parties too?

  12. Libbynan says...

    Maybe twenty years ago I tried a recipe for vegetarian chili that called for a ton of cilantro……which I had never heard of before. I bought it, I used it and no one could eat the chili. We ordered out. Have never bought it since and never will. On a menu the word cilantro guarantees that I will not order a dish.

  13. Emily says...

    The cilantro debate is one that is discussed in many of my social circles. I’ve learned to leave it out of recipes when certain people come over, because it appears that people who dislike it, really truly hate it!! The soap taste comment above is one I’ve never heard about. I love cilantro and it’s amazing health properties. Hope it always tastes amazing to me!

  14. Shannon says...

    I like the idea of the Wake Up newsletter but I wonder if there is a POC you could amplify/promote (or perhaps you already have and I can do a better search).

    • Laura says...

      The Wake Up does say she is trying to help white people ourselves rather than asking a POC to do the work of educating us. Speaking as a white person, but that seems like a valid point to me. I’ve been reading/hearing a lot of “don’t ask a POC, do the work yourself to figure it out.”

  15. jenn says...

    I’m laughing so hard at myself because I was so confused when I opened the link for “Fabric life insurance”. I actually thought (HA!) that it was AN INSURANCE PLAN FOR YOUR CLOTHES. BRB, writing a new business plan :)

    • Julie says...

      I thought the same! Haha!

    • Caitlin says...

      Same! I thought, “Is this to insure against the possibility of my clothes shrinking in the dryer?”

  16. JenMarie says...

    Thank you so much for the infertility mentorship link. What a genius idea. I immediately signed up to be a mentor. Infertility is a lonely lonely road in a country where very few people speak your language. I’m so glad that I will have the chance to walk with someone for part of her journey, let her take a look at my well-worn map, share some of the tips–and jokes–I picked up during my own travels in that sad place.

  17. Mary Cliff says...

    Meskel Square in Addis Ababa has been controlled by traffic lights for the last few years. I used to be petrified negotiating it but it’s very orderly now.

  18. Oh my word I had to laugh at the worlds craziest intersection link! I had an inkling of where it may be before I clicked the link and lo and behold – Addis Ababa! My husband and I travelled in Ethiopia a few ago and we could not get over that intersection! It still comes up in conversation about how it took us FOREVER to cross; partly due to our standing in a daze, jaws dropped at how it all somehow ‘worked’ and partly because we were total scaredy cats!

  19. Madeline says...

    Where is that pool located? I need to go there!

    • Taylor says...

      My guess is Sydney, Australia. My husband and I went to
      Australia for our honeymoon, and when I saw that picture and immediately brought back memories of the pools that they have built into the coast. The waves from the ocean splash up into the pool. I suppose there maybe other places, and I have a picture of my husband swimming in the pool has a big wave is coming in, that looks so similar.

    • Rachel says...

      It’s Bondi Icebergs, in Sydney :-)

    • Maryse says...

      Haha. Yes, same thought here. Shamed to say that we’ve actually been to Sydney and didn’t visit

  20. Nora says...

    There was a terrorist attack on Barcelona on Thursday. Please pray for the victims

  21. Jennifer says...

    I’m a long time reader from Sydney and a Bondi local – loved the photo of our beautiful Icebergs

  22. Maureen says...

    My mom lost her wedding ring for 7 years. I was the one who found it…hidden in a book!

  23. Jayme says...

    Read what Anthony Williams writes about cilantro. Miracle, heavy metal detoxifying herb. Thank god for cilantro!

  24. Allie says...

    The fertility support site looks amazing. I signed up! Thanks for posting just what I needed right now.

  25. Lauren says...

    Just a note:
    The solar eclipse is happening Monday for some of the country. Fun stuff.

  26. Bravo to Allure indeed! It’s great to hear that they are taking a stand against the “shaming ” of women for aging. Thanks for sharing that – I look forward to buying the September issue!

  27. Devon says...

    I live on the North Fork and have 3 little ones! Let me know if you want any secret local tips. :)

  28. Lauren Lyons says...

    As a long time reader, I know you’ve visited the North Fork before, but here are a few recommendations (I live in Quogue 6 months out of the year, so I frequent the North Fork often)… the cinnamon apple cider donuts at Wickham’s Farm Stand in Cutchogue, White Flower Farmhouse for shopping in Southold, Orient General Store in Orient just b/c it’s so quaint + their oatmeal/sea salt cookies are the best ever, any + all of the farmstands/wineries. And, the cutest little roadside stand in Mattituck… a guy who sells his own adorable birdhouses (we have several– they are so well made.) Have a wonderful time! xo

  29. shannon says...

    Ha! I’d wanted to name my future child Finn since FOREVER. Then I married a man with the last name Quinn. Bah!

    • aga says...

      Finn is an adorable name! — Your child could take your last name! (I really don’t get why children should take the father’s last name.)

  30. Angela says...

    I’m for sure a fall person. I have a really hard time, physically speaking, in the heat. Like Anne of Green Gables: “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

    • Becca says...

      Anne of green gables quotes in CoJ comments 😍😍 all the kindred spirit feels! <3

    • Laura C. says...

      Angela, I feel you, sister. I have bookmarked that quote from Anne Shirley. I’d rather be in Scotland or Canada that where I am now, Southern Spain. Hot never ends, and I feel ridiculous having to wear pineapple printed t-shirts in late September because it is damned hot.

  31. Abby says...

    I know it’s a personal decision, but whenever a woman has some crazy situation that is tied to the inevitability of taking her husband’s surname, I always wonder… why. It’s not actually an inevitable decision, even if it’s a very common one.

    Just… Friday food for thought.

    • JC says...

      I’ve wondered that myself. I kept mine with no regrets.

    • Sames! Happily my last name for 14 years. Friends refer to us as The My Last Name – His Last Name’s with no problems.

  32. Colleen S says...

    I prefer autumn to summer. Despite the fact I am a summer-born person, I dislike the heat. If it never got above eighty-five degrees, I probably wouldn’t hate it as much.

  33. Jules says...

    I totally agree with Ina! I HATE cilantro. It definitely takes over any dish it’s in and I cannot force myself to eat it. I got a sushi roll one time that didn’t list cilantro but I tasted something awful, picked through it, and sure enough there was a tiny cilantro leaf. My husband loves it but even when he’s washing it I cannot stand the smell.

  34. Sharon says...

    Just signed up for Wake up! Thank you for passing the link. I am not American but race relations can be helped everywhere in the world
    Hopefully many more will sign up as well

  35. Noelle says...

    The summer/fall question has really torn me! I LOVE autumn and all its promise of the impending “cozy” times through the end of the year, but our summers are so short here in Minnesota that it’s always bittersweet to say goodbye to the heat.

  36. Emily S. says...

    Like Ina, I hate cilantro. Yuck.

    If I’m making a recipe that calls for it, I leave it out. I also dislike parsley.

  37. The news about Allure is the best I’ve read in a while! Thank you for continuously creating community that surrounds all the meaningful, thought-provoking, hilarious and simply lovely things this world has to offer, Joanna and team <3

  38. I only like cilantro when it’s hidden in the amazing guac my husband makes (he’s a Chipotle area manager so he knows what he’s doing!). Otherwise, I think it smells like stink bugs which turns me off.
    And give me the first days of fall any day… the slight orange tinges on the leaves’ edges, the crisp morning and evening air, the cozy cup of coffee on my porch under a blanket on my hammock…. I will take it all please.

  39. Christy says...

    I know a Charlie Brown! Her nickname is Charlie and she married a man with the last name brown. I love it!

    • Lily says...

      My cousins last name is Meier and they loved the same oscar until they realized…. ;-)

  40. Mar says...

    Pray for Barcelona…
    We are not afraid , that is “no tenim por”. The heart from Barcelona came back to life today hours after bloody attacks.

  41. Ana says...

    I’ve never bought an Ina Garten cookbook (sorry, that’s is probably heresy to some people!) but now that I know she hates cilantro like me, I might have to!

    • Andrea says...

      She is one of the few people whose cookbooks I buy. She is really rigorous with testing her recipes to increase flavor and decrease fussy steps. You can tell the difference with her recipes compared to like Mark Bittman who throws a thousand mediocre recipes into each new cookbook he puts out. With Ina, I feel like I am learning secrets from a great cook.

  42. Emily says...

    I’m with Ina! Apparently, you either love or hate cilantro and I hate it! It ruins a dish for me completely, which is tough since I love Mexican.

    • I love cilantro! Can’t get enough!

    • Devon says...

      I’ve grown up going out there and we have a house there. I second the carousel!! I have such great memories of grabbing the gold ring on the carousel to get a second free ride!

  43. Lourdes says...

    What?! No cilantro?!?!? I LOVE it and use it in many dishes. However, I did read the NYT article about how it can taste like soap to some people. I decided to try it right after reading the article and sure enough, I could taste a hint of Palmolive soap. I freaked out and took a mental walk around the block to shake it off. There’s no way I’m giving up my cilantro.

    • Ana says...

      HA! For some reason this comment cracked me up – the idea of walking around the block to rid yourself of the idea that Cilantro isn’t delicious :)

  44. I feel so vindicated by Ina Garten, cilantro is garbage. Also I am definitely going to have nightmares about that intersection.

  45. Rebecca says...

    I’m watching the eclipse in the path of totality on Monday!

  46. aga says...

    Oh, Ina! Blasphemy! Any cilantro variety is delicious, but Colombian cilantro is amaaaaazing. It looks almost like dill and tastes like…. heaven! I always bring back (*cough*smuggle*cough) fresh cilantro and cilantro seeds from Colombia.

    • aga says...

      (I can see it now, a Netflix series about Colombian cilantro smuggling lol )

  47. Rachel says...

    The infertility mentorship link doesn’t seem to be working? I’d love to know what that is!

    • Stella Blackmon says...

      Hi Rachel, their site is back up and coming! Thanks for your note! xx

    • B M says...

      Such an amazing community! I think they were overwhelmed by the traffic coming from this site. Keep trying!

  48. Have a great weekend in North Fork. My twins are excited to sleep on the sofa in their playroom tonight and sleep-in in the morning. They started first grade last week and are adjusting to the new schedule (and so is their mommy). Thanks for sharing the links. I couldn’t open the one on infertility- do you have the link? Also, the Charlie Brown one is hysterical! Have a fabulous weekend.

    XOXO, Amy @ Jeans and a Tea