Motherhood

Conversations With Toby and Anton

Conversations With Toby and Anton

Have your kids (or kids you know) said anything funny recently? Now that Toby is seven and Anton is three, I love hearing what’s going on in their little minds! (In fact, Anton’s recent report card began: “Anton is a cool-as-a-cucumber little fellow,” haha.) Here are a few things they’ve busted out with this spring…

Anton: “This jet was made in the 1980s.”
Me: “What does the 1980s mean?”
Anton: “It means a long long time ago when dinosaurs were here.”

Me: “Anton, I love being your mommy. I love talking about knights and bugs with you.”
Anton: “Yeah, I like to talk about bugs because I’m scared of them. And I want to figure out a way, not to KILL them, but to make them all leave this planet.”

The other day, Toby lost a tooth when I was out of town. I wondered if Alex had remembered to put a coin under his pillow. When I got home, Toby and I had this conversation:
Me: “So, the tooth fairy came on Saturday morning???”
Toby: “Yes, but she was a little late.”
Me: “You mean, a coin wasn’t there when you woke up?”
Toby: “No, but she is so busy. There are so many kids.”
Me: “That’s true. But then you found it?”
Toby: “Daddy went to look and HE found it!!!!”

Anton: “Why did you name me Anton?”
Me: “Daddy and I loved the name Anton.”
Anton: “Why not a different name?” (Kind of perturbed.)
Me: “What name would you choose?”
Anton: “House Plant.”

Anton: “Can you wipe my face off?” (Laughs.) “Not wipe my face off, that would hurt. Can you wipe my face?”

Anton is such a super fan of Toby. It is so cute to see the little brother / big brother dynamic. One recent morning, I overheard them, as Toby was getting dressed for school. Says Anton: “That will look really nice on you! You should wear that! That will fit you po-feckly!!!”

Toby and Anton also write many letters to their hero — the actor Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, who performed the voice of Maui in the movie Moana. Toby usually asks questions like, “Dwayne Johnson, would you mind to bring me a fish hook?” or “Can you teach me the ‘You’re Welcome’ lyrics?” And Anton recently drew him a picture of a spider and transcribed the following note:

Dear Dwayne Johnson the Rock,
I hope you have a good time with my spider. And I hope you have a good time at all. And see you another day when you invite me there. 89 minutes to Brooklyn where our house is! The picture is a spider. There are also veins like in our body and there are straight ones and curly ones, also loopty-loop ones.
Goodbye, Dwayne Johnson!
Love, Anton

Conversations With Toby and Anton

What cute things are your kids talking about these days? I’d love to hear…

P.S. Toby’s week of outfits, and a kids’ guide to NYC.
P.P.S. I hope you have a good time at all.

  1. As I’m choosing an outfit to wear to work, my 8 year old pulls a black lacy dress from my closet: “This! This! Wear this!” “No, sweetie, that’s an evening dress.” She looks utterly perplexed. “You have outfits just for nighttime?! I want to know about that!”

    • Julia says...

      Haha!: -)

    • Kendra says...

      hahaha!

  2. I love reading these Jo!

    My 4 year old son has recently started swimming lessons at our local sports centre. We were having a conversation on the drive home the other day…
    Sage: I saw a band-aid in the water.
    Me: Ewww! Where was it?
    Sage: On the bottom of the pool… Maybe the pool has a scratch and they put the band-aid there so all the water won’t leak out.

  3. Nancey says...

    haha, these are so great! My Daughter who is now 12 asked me when she was like 5- ‘Mom, when you were little so so long ago, was there color or no?’ I said ‘color?’ she said, it looks like back then everything was black and white and then maybe we got color later. oy vey.

  4. TNelly says...

    My 10 year old, describing her older brothers love lives. Khari (18 y/o) is still dating Coral, but Kadir (21 y/o), sigh, Kadir, it’s complicated. And I love that Toby is Anton’s hero – “That will fit you po-feckly!!! is priceless”

  5. Pfft!!! That letter and that casual body language with those arm tattoos!? get outta here.

  6. Anna says...

    Not a post to read while trying to feed my youngest daughter to sleep! My giggles woke her up and I got the most disapproving glare.

    My 2.5 year old: Mummy, you should put your slippers on like me.
    Me: I would, but I don’t have any slippers, remember?
    Her: Oh… (one moment later) it’s ok. Santa will bring you some!

    And, while holding her favourite doll to her belly button:
    ‘Look mummy. I’m feeding my baby milk from my tummy like you!’

    More please – these posts always make my day. :)

  7. Anna says...

    My three year old daughter in conversation with me over lunch last week…

    Ruby: My name is Ruby Joy and my big sister is Joy Joy Pumpkin.
    Me: You know what? Joy’s real name is Joy Elizabeth.
    Ruby (looking pensive): Is Joy a lizard?

    • Katie says...

      Haha this one made me laugh out loud.

  8. Too cute! These are always my favorite posts. “House plant” had me laughing out loud – almost as good as “why did you not name me Dash?” hahaha

    • Liz says...

      I actually know a toddler named Dash. His full name is Dashel. Pretty awesome.

  9. Kara says...

    My boys are now 16 and 18 and while cleaning up I found 2 notebooks I kept. In the books was a page every now and then and then of funny thing they said, worss they used for certain things — so no long journaling – no time for that! Just a few notes! Then Every year there was a page of “interview” questions I would ask them on or around there birthday – from how old are you to favorite food to what will you be when you grow up. My oldest and I recently sat reading his book rolling with laughter – and of course me ending in tears. What joy these books brought us! Also I know it’s the digital age and we do so much less on paper but just seeing my handwriting brought me bank to that time of our lives. I just may reinstate the books – the teenage years!

  10. Jules says...

    Me to my 4yo nephew, Finn: What do you want to be when you grow up?

    Finn: I want to be an octopologonist (!?!??). Long pause with me trying grapple what that could mean.

    Finn: What do you want to be when you grow up?

    I’d just turned 40yo!

  11. shopgirl says...

    Aaaaah! So cute!

  12. *kids say

  13. Kate says...

    Sometimes when my 3yr old is tired he says ‘get for it’ instead of ‘I forget’

    Makes me smile every time!

  14. Kate says...

    Sometimes when my 3yr old is tired he says ‘get for it’ instead of ‘I forget’

    Makes me smile every time!

  15. Cat says...

    My nieces and nephews all call me Aunt Cat but my parents and siblings always use Catherine. I recently asked my niece what she thought my last name was, and she thought about it for a minute, and finally said “Therine.” I looked at her confused, and she explained my name was “Cat Therine.”

  16. I love these posts Joanna. They just brighten my day.

  17. Madie says...

    Two goodies from my son Hank recently, who will be 4 in July:
    Hank: “Mom, what’s a ‘lever bee’?”
    Mom: I dunno, what do you mean?
    Hank: “You know, like, ready as a lever bee!”
    And then one evening my husband said to Hank (because I was so tired), “Hank, Mommy is toast.” And without missing a beat, Hank says, “And I’m the Jam!!”
    {Yes you are, buddy! More than you’ll ever know.}

    • Thrizyl says...

      Holy cow that is so sweet. Hank is your jam *love*

    • talia says...

      Absolutely adorable!

    • Kendra says...

      So sweet :)

  18. Courtney says...

    The other day we were driving and my almost 4 year old was looking out her window at a car next to us and exclaimed, “mommy why does that man have a candle (it was a cigarette) in his mouth?! That is not safe! He is going to burn his face!”

    Love the innocence of having no clue what a cigarette is and assigning something familiar to it. And as she starts to understand the “rules” of the world and what is safe to do and not this was perfect!

  19. Amy says...

    I love how you captured the superfan dynamic between Anton and Toby! It always warms my heart/cracks me up to hear my two year old and five year old getting dressed in the morning and complimenting each other. A typical exchange might have my five year old Griffin enthusing “Oh, Sylvs, great choice! You look so sharp!” Cue Sylvia wandering out into the living room wearing a broncos football jersey, no pants, and a single lime green knee sock.

    • talia says...

      I laughed out loud reading this! So funny!

    • Aya says...

      Me too. Thanks for the laugh! Sweet!

  20. I love how verbal and imaginative Anton is as a 3-year-old! I feel like his relationship with Toby must have really contributed to that :)

  21. Amy says...

    Omg this is so cute. We have 2 girls almost the same age as your boys, and the younger one will say sweet things to the older one about her outfits as well. Only she pronounces it “perf-dick-ly”. lol!

  22. Suzana says...

    Love when you post conversations with Toby and Anton, please keep them coming!

    Me: What are you thinking about sweetie, you’ve gone all dreamy?
    2 year old: Farts.

    Yup, definitely raising a boy!

  23. Anna Kleinfeld says...

    I love your boys and I’ve never even met them!

  24. Allison says...

    Sweetest stories. I laughed out loud at Alex’s tooth fairy save. That story reminds me that although my husband doesn’t do things as -ahem- efficiently or thoughtfully as I do, at the end of the day he still gets the job done. That’s really all I can ask for in a partner. Thanks for the laughs!

  25. Tina says...

    My three year old daughter knows that when the laptop/mobile shows the red light it means its out of charge and going to get switched off.

    Tessa: Mom, your eyes are red.
    Me: Oh, is it?
    Tessa: Is it going to get switched off now?

  26. Cassie Feerer says...

    My three year old is the funniest person I know. While grocery shopping, he pointed to the frozen corn dogs as we passed by them and said “Can we buy those chicken lollipops?” Another time he was hungry and pointed to the VERY ripe bananas on the counter and said “I’ll have one of those chocolate bananas, please.”

    • amanda june says...

      laughing out loud!

  27. Caitlin says...

    Laughing so hard at all of this I had to go use my inhaler.
    This is the reason I can’t wait to have kids!…The hilarious things they say!

  28. Ingrid says...

    My granddaughter was at my house this weekend. I was changing her pull-up when she said, “There’s poop down there! Run for your life!”

  29. Reem says...

    This is SO precious. It brought tears to my eyes. What sweet boys. x

  30. Rachael says...

    Your boys are so lovely, Joanna! My son is 23 months old and is mad about my hair. He loves to twirl it in his fingers to soothe himself. His biggest insult “mummy your hair is NOT soft!” Sometimes he gets a cheeky glint in his eye and says “mummy give me your hair!”. Other times he makes excavator sounds and says “I’m shovelling your hair!” as he runs his fingers through my hair. When his dolls are sad he cuddles them and then says “mummy, let them touch your hair.” Sometimes he forgets he still has peanut butter on his hands from lunch and he reaches up and grabs my hair with sticky fingers, which he knows he’s not supposed to do. But he’s learning: yesterday he was eating his lunch with one hand. He held up his other hand and said “this hand’s clean!”. I knew what he meant. Sure enough, his hand flew up and grabbed my hair.

    • Thrizyl says...

      This is so sweet

  31. Polly Hitchcock Sage says...

    house plant! I laughed so hard, love it!!

  32. Jenn says...

    We’re on vacation at the beach in Maryland. My two year old was floating in the water yesterday when she looked up at me and asked, “mom, where is this ocean taking us?” I thought that was a lovely question. (She also said “Look! I swimming! Like the big boys!”)

  33. Karin says...

    Your boys are such cuties! Thanks for sharing their sayings – gave me a laugh and took me back to the days when my son was a chubby-cheeked little guy. ROLLLING at the “wiping my face off” one!

  34. Jena says...

    When I was in my early teens, my four or five-year old cousin was playing around and said simply, “it won’t get any better because it’s not that bad.” I’m not sure what she was actually referring to, but I found it oddly profound at the time and often thought about that simple statement through some rough patches in my teens. I’m now 31 and still remember her twirling around as she said that and say it, jokingly, to myself when I need a boost.

    • Anna Stevens says...

      that’s super charming.

  35. so precious! I adore little kids for that kind of conversation, and I try to write it down in a notebook I keep for each kid.

    The other day I asked my 2-year-old if we should clean the bathroom or go to the library. She loves the library, so I was very surprised when she picked the bathroom cleaning. She told me firmly that she needed “a dish of waters and a rag.” She meant a bucket of water and a rag – I laughed my head off, I confess, which I try not to do unless the kid is trying to be funny.

  36. Colleen S says...

    I was born in 1983, so it’s good to know I lived in the time of dinosaurs. I joke that I was around before dinosaurs walked the earth, meaning before Jurassic Park came out.

  37. Claire says...

    I got to have breakfast with my almost 4 year old last week – just the two of us, which is rare, because he has twin baby sisters are with us all the time.

    It was a little rainy in Dallas (also rare) so he announced that today would not be the right day to ride on his rocket ship. I agreed and added that I would be sad if he got on his rocket because that would mean he was probably going far away and he was quiet for a moment and then said “Mom, come with me! We’ll go together, just like breakfast this morning!” It was the best

  38. Kim says...

    My three year old son recently told me that I should have named his baby sister Rainbow Sprinkles (instead of her actual name, which is nothing like Rainbow Sprinkles).

    • Sasha says...

      I have friends who asked their kids what to name the new baby sister. The unanimous decision was Chocolate Chip. Parents went with Willa instead ;)

    • We joked that we were going to name our baby girl Rainbow Lollipop. Whenever anyone asked my son (3yrs at the time) what his baby sister would be named, he would answer, “Rainbow Lollipop [Surname]”.

      And even better, from the hospital we sent out a joke birth text to all our family that “Rainbow Lollipop [Surname] was born, …Kg, …Time etc” and my mum replied with something like, “Rainbow is a lovely name, but are you sure about Lollipop? Think about the baby. She might get teased…” We sent another text with her real name about 10 mins later to the relief of my parents. They were seriously concerned (No offence to any Rainbow Lollipops out there. I love your name!)

  39. ali says...

    I love these posts. I also love the picture of Anton on the scooter! He looks so cool.

    My two year old niece recently asked my sister, “why do you have so many cracks on your face?”

    • amanda june says...

      crying laughing at this. the comments section on these posts are the best!!!

  40. Taylor says...

    My 3.5yr old is quite entertaining. Tonight during dinner he requested some tortilla chips with his dinner.
    Me: sure, did you know daddy and I like to eat our with melted cheese?
    Him: and Avocado?
    Me: yes, would you like some?
    Him: no, mommy. I only like that in the winter. In the summer I eat them by themselves.

    and having two boys- the penis, fart, poop jokes and laughs are endless. The best was from my husband and son (3.5).
    Setting- dinner post playing outside in the water, naked.
    Son- daddy, is your penis big right now? (Apparently 3.5yr old has been playing with his penis under the table and had an erection)
    Husband: (without missing a beat) no buddy, I don’t because I’m not playing with my penis. ?

    It was so honest and matter of fact. I had to walk into the kitchen bc I was falling apart laughing.

  41. Steph says...

    My boyfriend’s 5 year old son: “The earth is about 2,017 years old. Well actually, it’s a lot older than that, they just didnt keep calendars back then. They started keeping time around 1967”. Hilarious.

  42. Rebekah says...

    My four year old calls guacamole “broccomoli.” :)

  43. Samantha says...

    Today I learned my 2 year old has an imaginary friend. He was having breakfast and he was having a conversation say “here, eat this. For you! You’re welcome. Have a nice day!” I asked, “who are you talking to?” He answered “Cereal!” As far as I can tell, that’s his friends name :-)

  44. sarah K says...

    They are just adorable.

    At our house, our youngest (a sweet 3-year-old firecracker) begged me the other night, “Mommy, sing me a story and tell me a song!” She also wraps her arms tightly around my neck at bedtime and entreats me, “Stay forever! Stay forever!” How do you say no to that?! Finally, she persistently flips the syllables of “forget/forgot”; for instance, if we are going into the house and I step inside while she is still on the patio for a moment, she will hammer on the door and holler, “You got-for your sweetie! You got-for your sweetie!”

  45. Just so precious! Anton’s sweet letter to the Rock – I’m so glad you have that written down! He is actually filming a movie five minutes from our house and we’ve tried to steal a peek at him several times…no luck so far.

  46. Sarah says...

    LOL– the 80s, you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Oh, dear!

  47. Laurel says...

    I’d choose the Simone Saddle Bag! Gorgeous.

  48. Naomi H says...

    My four-year-old as I am trying on a cute evening dress that had been in storage for awhile, “Mommy if you are going to want me to like that dress, you will need to put on a pair of leggings”! My husband commented, “You look sexy”, my four-year-old, “Mommy, you look sassy”!

    We went to the University of Texas and had been teaching her about the Longhorns. She spotted a spider and said, “look, Mommy, a Daddy Longhorn”!
    My little boy who is two, “look Mommy at all the little girl fishies” looking at a picture of a group of mermaids.

  49. Lauren R. says...

    I love these! I’ve been a nanny/babysitter for a few years part-time and definitely have heard some gems. Conversations with kids are always surprising and life affirming.

    One recently was with a 2 year old girl I babysit. There were plumbers in the front yard of the house, digging up a pipe for repairs. She stood in the window watching them for a little while before throwing up her arms and exclaiming, “My house is ruined!”

    Another that sticks with me is from a boy I used to look after in Brooklyn. His parents had bought him a snow globe from Manhattan which he was very excited to show me. He came running out of his room, snow globe in hand, and accidentally dropped it on the wood floor where it shattered. He yelled “WHAT HAVE I DONE” then upon further examination of the wreckage… “IT’S NOT SNOW?!”

    Ouch, my heart!

  50. Lisa says...

    They are the sweetest!
    This also makes me feel a bit better – I’m expecting my second and I’m worried about the effect it will have on my oldest. He’s such a happy little boy! I don’t want to destroy his world! But then he’ll have a friend and hopefully someone who hero worships him

    • Lisa says...

      He doesn’t speak yet (too small!) but I have hay fever a the moment, and I was reading him a bedtime story and every time I sneezed he gave me a hug (even flinging the book out of the way when it got stuck between us). My heart melted

  51. Mouse says...

    Toby and Anton conversations are the only thing that has ever made me slightly wish I had had children…..:)

    Divine, especially the dinosaurs roaming the earth in the 1980s.

  52. Oh my word, so cute I can NOT handle it!

  53. I don’t have any children of my own, but I had a lot of little cousins growing up, and along with my big sister we kept track of every funny thing they used to say.

    My mom’s sister just had her second child, and everyone was so excited visiting her and helping her with the little baby boy. She started breastfeeding him, his new big sister cames up, scared as hell grabbing the baby’s head and screaming: “PLEASE DONT EAT MY MOOOOOM”, everyone started laughing so much and she just stood there, probably thinking why no one did something about it.

    • Nicole K says...

      Oh my gosh, this made me cry laughing. What an adorable reaction!

      When my brother was born, I was two, and my parents tell me that after meeting him at the hospital I walked into the hallway, flagged a nurse, and told her we were done with the baby and she could take him away. Your niece’s reaction was much sweeter!

    • Nicole K says...

      Oops, I mean your cousin!

  54. Malina says...

    My six-year-old, Hazel: “I’ve read every single Junie B. Jones book…and on the back it says she’s sold 60 million copies, so…”

    Four-year-old Nigella asked for a crown for Christmas. So easy! $10 on Amazon! Then, the weekend before Christmas, she elaborated. “Santa is going to make me the most beautiful crown EVER with jeweled ponies that dangle down in front of my eyes….”

    Nigella, on Christmas Eve: “GUESS WHAT Dad? Mom said we can open one present today if we clean the living room spic and Spanish!”

    Back in November, walked in the house at 6:15 am after Jazzercise to find Hazel’s mouth stuffed with Halloween candy. She looked at me like a deer in headlights and said, “I had Raisin Bran Crunch first.”

    • brianna says...

      That’s food pyramid balance, if ever I’ve heard it. (Not on a daily basis, obviously, but some days, ya just gotta give, right?)

    • Your girls have the most beautiful names!

    • Malina says...

      Thank you :)))

  55. Oneida says...

    This is one of the best parts of being a parent! I love conversations with kids. When my daughters started understanding jokes, it got even more fun, but sometimes their literal POV made it even funnier. My older daughter (now 6) loves the book “Little Pea.” She carried a tiny stuffed pea with her. On the way home from school, I told her I’d make her lunch when we got home.
    “What about little pea’s lunch?”
    “Oh, maybe I can make her some peas for lunch (I laugh)”
    “Why is that funny?”
    “Because it would be feeding her herself! Like what if I gave you a person for lunch? Would you want to eat a person?”
    “(Pause)…only if they were made of meat.”
    ? Oops. And she doesn’t even like meat! Ha.

  56. Ileana says...

    Your boys are just the sweetest. They make my heart melt every time!

  57. Kim says...

    My son is 2 and when I took him to the Met he pointed to the statues in the Greek wing and said Mommy, they’re missing their diapers!”

  58. Nathalie says...

    When my daughter was learning to read we saw some unfortunate graffiti at the playground (f*** you). She stood still and worked out the words and then turned to me and said, “Those people don’t know how to spell ‘Thank you’!”

    • I’m crying! Precious.

    • Gonna wet my pants cracking up over this one.

  59. Veronica says...

    These are so cute. I laughed out loud at po-feckly and the fact that they write fan letters to The Rock. That is the most heartwarming thing ever.

  60. Sierra says...

    House plant. House plant? House plant?!
    I’m dying.

    • That got me too;).

    • Laura C. says...

      House plant has made my day. Love you, Anton!

    • talia says...

      Right?!

    • Kendra says...

      So good! :)

  61. Beth says...

    These little convos are too cute! I love that Anton would be named House Plant. This makes me excited. My LO will be two this month, and he hasn’t said too many crazy things, yet, but I have a feeling it’s all going to change soon. I can’t wait!

  62. Jess says...

    A couple of recent goodies:

    My five-year old son helped my mom take her dog, Max, for a walk and when they returned he told me: “Max pooped! Grandma is very good at changing Max.”

    The other morning my two-year old son kept saying: “Brownies!” to which I replied: “No brownies for breakfast” and then he whined and cried. My older son who is five said: “That sounds fake, mom.”

    After I did something that made my older son laugh he said “Mom, you make me laugh all the time” and then I died.

    The other day my younger son was watching Thomas on my phone while I slaved to make Annie’s mac and cheese. It was that kind of day.
    Me: “Ok, dinner is ready so the phone is going off. Good luck with that.”
    Older son: “Yep, good luck with the crying.”

  63. Emily says...

    My daughter is 2.5 and the things she says! Last week she found my shopping bag with two new bras and she was all, “what’s in the bag?!” (slowly rustles through the tissue paper…) “GASP!!!! It’s Mama’s new boobs!”

    Then yesterday, while rocking a red-and-white polka dot bikini with her round toddler tummy hanging out, ice cream cone in hand, melted chocolate dripping down her face, arms, aforementioned belly. Heart-shaped sunglasses. From across the yard she yells, “Mama – my body – it is so beautiful!” If only we could lock in that confidence for her whole life!

    • Celeste W says...

      Oh my goodness, this made me grin. Your daughter sounds like a treat!

    • Aya says...

      This made me tear up. What a spunky sweetheart!

    • amanda june says...

      mama’s new boobs! i’m dying!

  64. Katelyn says...

    the 3 year old I babysit was learning about textures in school, including “soft” things. She said, “my teddy is soft, my panda is soft. my blanket is soft.” (PAUSE… looks at me) “you’re soft.”

    I don’t know if she meant my skin is soft or that my body is soft (I am heavy), but it was so sincere and said in such a matter-of-fact way that I just said, “yep, that’s true!”

    • L says...

      I have had little kids around that age tell me I have a soft belly, so definitely not about my skin. They always say it in such a loving way that I try to remember those moment when I’m feeling bad about my body. I may want a flatter stomach, but in a 3 year old’s mind, being soft and squishy is definitely a positive.

  65. MJ says...

    Listening to little kids is so much fun! Thanks for sharing the stories. The tooth fairy story reminded me that when my son lost a tooth the Tooth Fairy was too busy to come. Not just the first night. But the second night too. He followed us to his room so it was impossible to “find” the money. The first night we explained by saying he’d lost his tooth very late in the day and she obviously hadn’t had time to make it to our house. I can’t quite remember what we said the second night. But the Tooth Fairy did manage to find our house on the third night.

  66. Lynda says...

    you should totally tag the letter to the rock on instagram! you never know, he just might reply!

  67. Marie says...

    My daughter recently played Jesus in a skit at her preschool, about the story of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. She did well but was a bit exasperated with all the attention: “Why does everyone think Jesus is such a big deal anyway????”

    • Faith says...

      Love this one! Ha!

  68. Amy says...

    I still haven’t corrected my six-year-old about “excitement marks” (exclamation marks). One of my favourites from her is, “Do Jesus and God argue together about which way they’re going because they’re stuck together?!”
    And recently my four-year-old asked if the mole on my arm was going to grow into a boob – I guess it looks like a small nipple?!
    I used to write down a lot of the things they say and I really need to start that again!

    • Amy says...

      PS – House Plant! Kids are the best.

  69. Emily J says...

    Just the other day I was talking with my 3 year old son while he was washing his hands before dinner and he just said out of the blue, “by the way, I love you mom.” The “by the way” part just got me!! So I told him thank you and that I loved him too. Then he said “by the way, I love cuddling with you.” Just made me melt!! Love my sweet boy! Makes up for all the times he can be a little rascal too! ;-)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      by the way! what a dollface :) :) :)

  70. Marie says...

    Those are such precious gems!!!!

    My 5-year old daughter has started dressing herself. Every morning she brushes her own hair and puts on the fanciest, most colorful, dressy dress she can find — and a tiara. The other day she came downstairs dressed for summer camp in a rainbow-colored, sparkly Rainbow Dash (My Little Pony) dress. “Wow,” I observed. “You dressed yourself!” Her reply killed me — “What can I say, Mommy? I’m a big girl now!”

    On the other end of the spectrum, my quiet, thoughtful seven-year old son has been coming up with LIFE QUESTIONS as we’re laying in bed at night. Recent ones have included:
    “If the acid from your belly got on your hands, would they dissolve?”
    “Why are there people?”
    “When you go to heaven, will you write me a letter so I know what its like up there?” (I’m not going anytime soon — as far as I know!!!)

  71. Meg says...

    After a particularly groan-worthy dad joke, my four year old daughter says: “Papaaaaaa. You HAVE to get CONTROL of your JOKES.”

    Haha.

  72. Alice says...

    House Plant. That made me laugh so hard. The absolute best.

    Recently my 3 year old was talking about a friend who we moved away from last year:
    “Where’s Molly?” he asked.
    “She’s in China.” I replied.
    “Why?”
    “Because she lives there.”
    “No she doesn’t mama, she lives in life.”

    • Lilian S. says...

      Oh, wow! I love this, so poetic!

  73. Laura says...

    These are the best – thanks, Joanna!

    Quick question – which scooter do you have? Thinking of getting one for my three year old. Thanks!

  74. Amber says...

    My just-turned-3-year-old is melting my heart these days with these unprompted gems:

    “Mommy, you’re beautiful.”
    “Mommy, I love you with all my heart.”

    And the best, as I was getting dressed to go a party Saturday night, “Mommy, are you a princess?”

    At 30 weeks pregnant, he made me burst into happy tears.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that is so, so sweet, amber xoxo

  75. Heather says...

    Every Monday needs a Toby and Anton post. It’s soul balm :)

  76. Lauren DeMarco says...

    Hahahaha house plant!!!

  77. michaela says...

    Conversation from best friend and her two year old daughter Myra:

    Myra: You’re a bad mommy
    Mom: Myra that’s not nice. You need to say you’re sorry.
    Myra: I am sorry you’re a bad mommy

    lol!

    • JMB says...

      hahaha. good one.

    • katie says...

      sounds like my 4 year old. :P

    • Nancey says...

      HYSTERICAL!

    • amanda june says...

      gasping for breath ?

  78. Abbie says...

    HOUSE PLANT!!! That is THE BEST!

  79. Maranda says...

    The House Plant conversation absolutely killed me. Such cuties. <3

  80. Kate says...

    Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is MY favorite person ever, too!! Good taste, kids.

  81. Malina says...

    Always a favorite post! Btw, if you have Apple Music on your phone, when you click on a song, there are three little dots on the bottom right. If you touch those, you can access the lyrics to the song–no google search necessary! This is one of those activities that pleases both parent and child, because the child is working on their reading and memorization skills (and that’s a lot of memorizing for the song You’re Welcome!) and the child just enjoys rocking out.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh wow! that’s a great tip, malina, thank you!

    • Rae says...

      You just made my day! I’m sure to use this activity a lot this summer.

  82. Amanda Blair says...

    Also, Anton called me a dinosaur so..there’s that. HAHAHA.

  83. Anne says...

    Last night, as my 4 year old son was pooping:
    My son: I love your bracelet. I really like that it’s golden.
    Me: thank you! Did you notice that it’s the same color as my ring? This is my wedding band. Daddy gave it to me when we got married.
    My son: hunh. Where did he get it?
    Me: At a jewelry store.
    Son: What’s the name of the store?
    Me: Kessler’s, maybe?
    Son: Mom, what is jewelry?
    Me: Neclaces, bracelets, earrings, rings. Those would all be considered jewelry.
    Son: Do they sell watches at Kessler’s?
    Me: Yes, I think they probably have some watches too.
    Son: Mom, I want to go there and buy a watch, with a cricket. And the cricket will have a crooked eye. And honkin’ nose.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha @ “what is jewelry?”

      it’s so sweet how little kids can seem so grown-up but have these gaps in their knowledge. the other day, i was putting anton to bed and he said, “when will daddy be home?” and i said, “two hours,” and he said, “okay.” and then i walked out of the room and after a second, he called, “mommy?” and i said, “yes?” and he said, “what are hours?” hahahaha

  84. Amanda Blair says...

    These posts are my absolute favorite! Your kids are hilarious. The letters to “The Rock” melt my heart.

  85. Lizzie says...

    I was hanging out with my family friends who have a big Irish Catholic family and regularly attend church. They have kids about 6 and 4 and the 4 yr old went to the first day of pre school, but then got really sick so he missed about a week. After his first day back at school after being he sick he asked his mom if he had to go again the next day. She informed him, that yes he still had to attend. His response was an exasperated, “why does god do this to me!?”

    • ann says...

      haha thats so funny! Great kid!

  86. I always love these posts! My three-year-old seems to be at the magic age for saying hilarious things.

    “Dead is another word for slow.”
    “That’s some good folding mommy. It looks like you’ve really been doing some good practicing.”
    “Why do you have a little trouble talkin’ loudly?” (first thing in the morning)
    Cough drops= “choke pills”
    “Can you really eat a chicken? Wouldn’t it go cockadoodle doo in the oven?”

  87. Kari T says...

    Today I’m 19 weeks pregnant with our second, I was chatting with our daughter (almost 2.5 y.o) about the new baby and how she’s going to be a big sister. She says to me “ya, I’m going to be a big sister; the best in the world.” She said it so matter of fact like, melted my heart.

    And a funnier story: yesterday she was going to climb into bed with us, my husband goes to lift the blankets for her and she says “No! I don’t want the farty blankets!” hahaha.

    She also says “friggin” when she gets upset lol I try so hard not to laugh.

    Love your Toby and Anton conversations, they are so funny and heart-warming.

    • Kari T says...

      and one more!

      me: I love you Sweety
      2.5 y.o: I love you too Sweety Mom

  88. Carrie says...

    Slightly off topic, but please do a post about boyfriends/husbands and their decision to become fathers! My husband and I are at a crossroads in our life right now. I feel am as ready as I will ever be and that our life is in great order, but he needs more time. I respect his need to be completely ready, but it would be comforting to read about how other husbands came to make this life changing decision!!

    • Alice says...

      I’d be so interested in this post, actually from both perspectives. I was told, at 34, I couldn’t have children, so we weren’t expecting any when I got pregnant first time. They assured me a second was highly unlikely, yet lo and behold. We were not ready at all, and I had never felt ready in my life (hasten to add – loving it now I’m here!!).
      Do people ever really, completely, feel ready? I just cannot imagine that feeling, though some of my friends (mostly women, a couple of men) seem to have been born ready.
      I find that so fascinating.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      what great questions! thank you so much, carrie xxo

    • Lilian S. says...

      Agreed! Great topic! I’m 37 and my husband 39, we know we are pushing already but still not feeling “ready” to have a baby. Need some inspirational stories :)

    • Fern says...

      Lilian, this won’t be all that inspirational, but it is important: My mom had me when she was 41. She had accomplished a lot before then, and as a result, she was a really great mom. She wasn’t as easily ruffled as the younger mothers. She was sophisticated and worldly, and I adore her. But here’s the thing: her memory started to falter when I was in my 20’s. Now I’m 30, and I’m watching her struggle to finish a sentence. (They just spiral out into a million other half sentences. She can’t get to the point of the story, she can’t remember things that happened yesterday, and she can’t cope with basic problems like luggage delays.) When I was 23 and my mom forgot a conversation we’d had two hours prior, I felt the world crack underneath me. I was absolutely not in a place in my life where I was ready to cope with an elderly parent, but that’s what I had. And now, with a toddler of my own and baby number two on the way, I’m having to think about her elder care at a point in my life when I have the least energy and time for it. When I hear my friends, or other people, talk about when to have kids, they only ever mention how THEY feel about it. Whether they have enough money, or if they’ve traveled enough, or whatever. They never consider how their age will affect their future children. Also, how old you are when your children are grown is something for you and your husband to consider as well. My parents-in-law started having children in their early thirties, and both have exciting empty nest lives with travel and career changes. If you want children, and you’re in a stable relationship, sooner is better than later for a lot of reasons.

  89. Lauren says...

    My 4yo recently started saying “OH, ANGIE!”…I realized after a few times that she was attempting to say “O.M.G.” which I probably say more often than I should…

    • A says...

      ? Oh, Angie!

    • Katie says...

      HAAAAAAAAA! That’s awesome. Love that you figured that out! So darling.

  90. I’m such a sucker for kid quotes. The other day my husband hurt himself and my daughter said “why are you so delicate?” which made me laugh so hard (I have no idea where she heard that), and when he said he wasn’t that delicate my three year old son said “You are delicate! You give me hugs!”

    The other day my son said to me “Mom, keep your sunglasses on. Do you trust me? Ok, keep them on.” Then he slowly walked away…

    We got new mulch in our front yard and my daughter said “It’s stinky out here! Maybe a giant pooped!”

    The best is the suggested names for their imminently arriving new sister. So far we have Sparkle Sprinkle, Ariel Pineapple, Lady Glitter Sparkles, Hero (but then it was decided they would rather save that one for a dog), and Josephine Purple. We might use Josephine, but we’ll probably go with a different middle name ;)

    • Anne says...

      Hahahah the delicate quote is killing me

    • JMB says...

      Keep Purple! That’s amazing!

    • A says...

      Maybe Josephine Violet?! ??

    • Taylor says...

      hahahaha I am dying at the sunglasses story. If he can’t see you then surely you can’t see him right?!

  91. Oh wow, the House Plant story had my co-workers and I crying laughing. So funny.

    Briana

  92. Erin says...

    I love reading your posts about your boys!!! I have two boys too…7 and 5. Recently, my husband won an ipad in a raffle and our current one had a badly cracked screen. My 7 year old was so excited that we won a new one and asked to surprise his brother. The conversation went like this:

    Fran: Jiiimmmmyyy??? Guess what Dad won?
    Jimmy: What?
    Fran: I’ll give you a hint, ours has a crack in it
    Jimmy: (jumps up off the couch super excited) a new butt? :)

    • Ellie says...

      lol I’m dying.

    • Andrea says...

      I would like one of those!

    • Noelle says...

      LOL. This is the best.

    • nicole says...

      hahahaha

    • i am having to hold in a loud cackle in the office right now. dying.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahaha

    • Lilian S. says...

      THE BEST thing I head today. Probably will be the best thing of all week! :D

    • Laura C. says...

      Ahahah this is gold, lady!!!

    • Faith says...

      This is too good! Ha!

  93. I bought my 8 year old daughter a bag of those long, skinny balloons, and a pump (which, by the way, will keep an 8 year old busy for HOURS). Upon emerging from her room, she handed me a green balloon on which she had written “sword for fighting rainbow spiders”. When I asked what a rainbow spider was, she gestured to her room, where she had tied together about 15 different colored balloons to make, yes, a gigantic spider.

    • Rae says...

      Love this – super creative kid.

    • laura says...

      omg, this is the best!

  94. Scene: One morning a couple weeks ago as I trudged into my boys’ room to awaken them from their slumber after a late night before having movie night…
    Me: Hey boys, time to wake up, time for school…
    My ferocious 5-year-old second-born with his back turned to me lying stock still: Seriously?
    Me: Ummm, yes. Seriously.

    They come up with the funniest, craziest things and somehow manage it at the most appropriate times. Kuddos to kiddos for keeping it real.

    Love hearing/reading your conversations with your boys (how do you remember everything word-for-word btw?!) – they’re hilarious and sweet and you’re a great mama! xx

  95. Kay says...

    so much sweetness!!

  96. Kristy Lin says...

    These are too sweet! Especially Anton talking himself through his fear of bugs. He’s so wise yet innocent at the same time!

  97. Hahahahaha! SO adorable! The “House Plant” idea is ingenuous … hahahah, #rotfl. Thank you for the sweet post, Joanna!

  98. The other day my 7yo let me know that he inherited his great sense of humor from my pants and my husband’s pants.

    I was confused until I figured out he had confused GENES with JEANS.

    • Sarah says...

      Oh man, that is gold! I nearly fell out of my chair!

  99. liz says...

    My sister and I were talking about Toby and Anton yesterday. I said “you know the woman whose blog I read and she shares about her kids?” and she said “yup, the one that said ‘remember dad’ when he had just left for work'”? We both get a huge kick out of their conversations. We then reminisced about the time Toby took you out to dinner. We thought you might like to know that your claim to fame around these parts is being their mom!

  100. I LOVE these posts!! “Anton is such a super fan of Toby.” This makes my heart burst.
    The other day, I said to my almost 3 year old, “I love you Santi, my little baby.” He replied, “I love you mommy, my… big person!”
    But one of the funniest things he ever said happened a few months when he walked by the bathroom as I was putting in a tampon (I have to leave the door open when in the bathroom, he can’t be trusted. Also, he sometimes insists on coming in).
    2.5 year old: “Mommy what are you doing?!”
    Me: “Um, when girls turn into women, we bleed once a month. This is so blood doesn’t get all over my clothes.”
    2.5yo with wide eyes and a horrified look: “So, you have to put something in your front butt?!!!” (as pronounced “fwunt butt”)

    • Nisha says...

      ADORABLE! Reminds me of the time my 2 year old girl found me in the bathroom just about to unwrap a tampon and said “Why you hide your string cheese in the bathroom, mama?!”

    • amanda june says...

      string cheese!! ?

  101. Sarah Koenig says...

    We also have two boys, Jack (5) and Henry (3). I try to record the conversations we have on the Notes app in my phone before I forget – they are so hilarious and frequent.

    A recent transcribed conversation with Jack (5):
    Jack: Tell the painters of my new house when I grow up to paint a Death Star from Star Wars in my room.
    Me: Oh – well that sounds scary.
    Jack: It’s not scary! And also did you know I am marrying Addie? We are going to have a meeting and get married.
    Me: A meeting and then get married?
    Jack: We’ll get married at the meeting.

    And with Henry (3):
    Henry: Who is that person? (looking at Quaker Oats guy’s picture on the granola bar wrapper)
    Me: That’s the Quaker Oats man
    Henry: Why? (very confused)
    Me: That’s… just his thing.
    Henry: He likes chocolate? (Still staring at the man’s picture in confusion – hard to explain a spokesperson to a three year old. I’m still not sure how to explain it!)

    • Sarah says...

      Is this THE Sarah Koenig?! :)

  102. Sasha says...

    Oh, I just love this post and all the cute kiddos so much. Thanks for making Monday so much brighter.

  103. Christie says...

    Overheard in the lobby of the doctor’s office:
    4 year old: “I can’t do it, I just can’t do it.”
    Mother: “The doctor didn’t say you had to do it, he just said you had to try.”
    4 year old: “I just can’t do it, I can’t stop picking my nose and eating it.”

    • Faith says...

      Ha! I love the honesty!

    • amanda june says...

      can’t.breathe. ?

  104. Allyson says...

    I love these features! They seem like very funny, kind and smart kiddos!

  105. Kimberly says...

    My three year old’s first words to me today, while standing beside my bed, approximately six inches from my face: “Hi honey. I like you so much.”

  106. Kristen says...

    One of my 4 year old students:

    her: my daddy works at the office
    me: what does he do at the office? does he work hard?
    her: no, he only works softly

    another 4 year old student:
    her: I like your lipstick! did your mommy put it on you?
    me: no, I actually don’t live with my mommy anymore, I have my own house and a husband
    her: YOU have a HUSBAND?!?! (jaw drops and puts her hands over her eyes in disgust)

    • ann says...

      Softly – hahaha so funny!

  107. Jesica says...

    This reminded me of a conversation I had several years ago with my daughter, Katie, that still cracks me up. When she was about 3, we went swimming with a friend who was pregnant. We talked about her baby a lot, and apparently Katie was confused because she didn’t see a baby there. So on the way home, this was our conversation.
    Katie: “Mom, where’s Karen’s baby?”
    Me: “Oh, she’s in her tummy.”
    Katie: “Eww, gross! Why Karen eat her baby?”

  108. k says...

    Recently I was playing spot it with my 4 yr old grandson Liam and when he won he blurted out “It’s a miracle”. Totally cracked me up although pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth is funny. Such a fun age!!!
    k

  109. Sarah Beth says...

    I love these sweet conversations! My 18 month old is very verbal, but doesn’t really get what a lot of it means. Our favorite thing she does lately is say “Whatcha doin up/out there?” to inanimate objects. She spotted the moon (her favorite) and screamed, “HEY MOON WHATCHA DOIN UP THERE?” I saw her staring intently out the window in the car and asked what she was looking at. She replied, “oh, trees,” and when I said “cool!,” she shouted, “HEY COOL TREES, WHATCHA DOIN?” It makes me laugh so hard, every time!
    She also calls a unicorn a “happy birthday horse,” which just kills me. I know I should correct her but I definitely don’t.

    • Oh, that is such a perfect name for a unicorn. How darling!

    • Sasha says...

      Unicorn is officially a happy birthday horse, forevermore, in my lexicon. Your baby is brilliant! And adorable.

    • Thanks for the laugh! What a cool kid!

    • ann says...

      That is so sweet!
      Happy birthday horse is brilliant!

  110. bahahahaha “I hope you have a good time at all.”

    They are darling!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha now when alex and i leave for work or to meet a friend, we’ll say to each other, “i hope you have a good time at all!”

  111. Abby says...

    Oh man, I love these. My daughters are 5.5 and 2, so I can’t wait till the younger one gets just a BIT older and they chat with each other more. At this point, the quotables are almost all then just from the older one. To wit, she was just concentrating at the dining table on something while I was helping her younger sister:

    Z: I’m going to do this origami. I just have one problem. I don’t know how to fold paper.

    ;)

    • Rae says...

      Oh I love this. That would make origami MUCH harder!

  112. Emm says...

    While we encourage our 3 year old to use the correct names for things – including body parts – we let slide her use of babe-ing suit instead of bathing suit. Especially as I adjust to my postpartum body with baby #2, she reminds me that fabulous is a state of mind when she says “mom, let’s put on our babe-ing suits and go to the pool!”

    • Nisha says...

      LOVE this! I’m going to call mine a babe-ing suit forever now.

    • Nora says...

      My son also called it a baby suit. :)

  113. Jennifer says...

    My 2.5 year old son couldn’t remember the name for a groundhog the other day so when he saw one on the deck he shouted, “Mama! Garden Beaver!”

    • Kristy Lin says...

      Too Cute!

    • Nisha says...

      Hahaha, my son called a raccoon a ‘rat-bear’ when he was 2.5! Oh that age is the best. <3

    • My husband called our fluffy white cat (in the backyard) a “sheep rabbit” the other day. It’s the only way I can think of her now!

    • Amy says...

      Haha, when I was three I asked my dad why that kitty was wearing sunglasses. It was a raccoon B-)

  114. Amy S says...

    As we were driving home from preschool,
    4 YO Daughter: Mommy, why are your arms jiggling?
    Me: Well, I’m driving and the car is moving so my arms are moving and they are kind of squishy, that’s why I’m going to the gym to try to firm them back up.
    4 YO: No, don’t do that, I love your squishy arms, I think they are beautiful.

    • Jamie says...

      <3 <3

    • Louisa says...

      love.

    • Charlotte K says...

      I always loved my mom’s squishy arms too. This makes me tear up.

    • ann says...

      They speak the truth

  115. Ashley says...

    I have 4.5 yr old, 2.5 yr old, and a 10 month old… and they come up with some dandies! My daughter (4.5) think she’s 25 and is in CHARGE of everyone, including the parents. The other day I told her she had to pick something up if she wanted to go outside… of course this turned into a 15 minute crying battle and she was so upset, with tears in her eyes and a red face she screamed (while aggressively pointing), “I. AM. SHIT. OF. YOU!!!!”. Hahaha! A classic combo of “I’m sick of You” and “You’re a shit”.

  116. Sarah says...

    I asked my daughter, would you like a brother or a sister, her reply, “I like chocolate” took me a bit by surprise.

    I asked did she have any name ideas for her new baby brother, her response – “Mowgli” ?

    • ann says...

      You have to – at least for a middle name!!

  117. Amanda says...

    Conversations with the four year old I babysit:

    4YO: Ms. Amanda you’re the prettiest person I know
    Me: Awww thank you K!
    4YO: But I’m only 4 and don’t know many people so we’ll see in a few years.
    Me:……Thank you K?

    Conversations with Toby and Antony should be a regular thing!

    • ann says...

      hahahaha!

    • A says...

      YES “conversations with Toby and Anton a regular thing! Like monthly? Bimonthly? :) I was just thinking over the weekend about how I was missing your “Coversations with a __ year old” posts! ❤️

  118. When I was teaching school, a second grader piped up one day and said, “I see a baby in Miss Troyer’s belly, and it’s saying, ‘Get married and let me out!'”
    I wasn’t pregnant or overweight. Still not sure where she pulled that one from. :D

    • A says...

      This made me laugh out loud!

  119. Alex says...

    The brother-to-brother conversations are so awesome. Adds a tick to my “Pro’s for having a second child” list. Our amazing nanny is teaching my 20 month old to count in Spanish, so now we wander around the neighborhood every day and she counts off every random rock, tree, or bus we pass. “Uno, dows, twes, qarto, cinko, sayees…” Passerbys get the giggles because she is this tiny toe-head blonde with crystal blue eyes shouting out numbers gleefully in Spanish.
    But the best Kid-conversation I heard recently was on the sidewalk in Brooklyn.
    8 yr old to his little brother – “Have you ever seen the inside of a police car?”
    3 yr old – “No.”
    8 yr old – “I have.”
    3 yr old – “Ohhh…”
    8 yr old – “I’ve seen the inside of a prison cell too.”
    3 yr old – “…”
    8 yr old – “Have you ever seen the inside of a prison cell?”
    3 yr old – “…no?”
    #futurefelon

    • Alex says...

      *tow-head. hehehe.

  120. MA says...

    Oh my , thank you for sharing. These gems are so sweet and funny.

  121. Charlotte says...

    My nanny kid loves to comment on the pattern on my underwear while we’re at a public bathroom. I’m sure she’s made a lot of people giggle because of that. Also, a week or so ago we were at a gym and as I went to go to the bathroom she shouted after me: “Be careful not to fall into the toilet!”

  122. Kate says...

    DYING over the tooth fairy story. Lmao nice save Alex!!

  123. Sarah says...

    Not necessarily a funny one, but this made my heart melt: I am eight months pregnant and have been spending some time each evening talking to my 2 year old son, Tommy, about his soon-to-be sister. The other night I told him, “You know, when she gets here, I am going to be her Mama, too.” He looked very panicked for a second so I said, “Don’t worry honey, I will always be your Mama. I will be Mama to both of you.”

    Satisfied, he said “Oh. And I will be her Tommy!?”

    I don’t know why that one got me or if it sounds as sweet to anyone else as it does to me, but it made me tear up! (Also, see: eight months pregnant).

    • Em says...

      How sweet : )

    • Chicca says...

      So cute:)

    • No, that is really sweet! My husband Chris is two years younger than his brother Patrick and, thirty years later, their dad still tells the story of how Chris called his big brother “my Pat.” Melts me every time.

      Congratulations on your coming babe!

    • Erin says...

      So, so precious.

    • ann says...

      That is so lovely and Tommy is the best name – love it!
      Oh and congrats!

    • A says...

      So sweet!!! What a lucky baby she is!

  124. My six-year-old niece recently started playing soccer. Before her first game, my sister wrote “Samantha #7” on her ball. Sam went to my sister and asked her why she put a hashtag on her soccer ball. ?

  125. China says...

    Oh Anton, I am so with you on the bugs.

  126. Stephanie says...

    so sweet! I have twin siblings 17 years younger than me and my sister and I used to laugh endlessly at the things they would say to us when we were home from college visiting. When my mom would tell my little sister to do something she would just say “I hate you, you old lady”

  127. Lais Cobra says...

    hahaha i LOVE whn you post their conversations! Tell us more when you can, please? What a treat for the future to have all of it written down so they can laugh and see their younger adorable selves! :)

  128. Sarah says...

    I am an elementary school music teacher, and I feel so lucky to hang out with kids all day- they are constantly cracking me up. I try to email their parents when they do something lovely or make me laugh. Last week a student raised his hand and said, “Mrs. Ice, I want to share that my bird ran away this weekend. Well…I guess he flew away, not ran. That would look funny. Anyway, I want to say that I always hated him and I’m glad he’s gone, and that you shouldn’t be sad for me.”- I don’t know what happened but I started CRACKING up.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg hahahahahaha sarah that is too good!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      PS you are so sweet to email cute things to the parents! i’m sure they LOVE that!!!

    • Emily says...

      As a mom to an elementary school child, I can tell you that hearing from teachers any tidbit from the day is like a kernel of gold. It is such a gift to do this for parents and it doesn’t go forgotten. Thank you!

    • Sasha says...

      Unicorn is officially a happy birthday horse, forevermore, in my lexicon. Your baby is brilliant! And adorable.

    • Jen says...

      We have an app that my son’s teachers update to share pictures and a little summary of what the kids have been up to. It’s amazing and I absolutely love seeing what my son has been doing that day and what hilarious comments he’s come out with. I appreciate the time the teachers take updating it so much! X

  129. Emily says...

    When my two-year-old was watching me assemble my manual breast pump to use (he has a new little brother!), he announced “This mommy building a trumpet!”

    • Emily says...

      Oh and this exchange from bath time:
      “I got water in my eye!”
      “You did!? What’s it doing in there!?”
      “Twinkling.”

    • Leanne says...

      When my second was born, my 2-year-old would say, “Mommy, baby Ellie’s hungry — give her the boob!” anytime she cried.

  130. Lauren E. says...

    Oh my gosh, I am dying. “Dear Dwayne Johnson the Rock.”

    I was at a friend’s house the other night and her 6 year old came to entertain us by dancing around in front of the sliding glass door with no pants on, holding a plastic champagne glass full of juice. “Yeah, he likes to drink everything out of his champagne glass,” my friend said. So hilarious.

  131. Carrie says...

    Please do this every Monday!! It’s the absolutely best way to kick off a week.

    • Lindsay says...

      Agree! These are hilarious!!

  132. Ruth says...

    OMG they’re the best. And you should totally send that letter to the Rock! LOL

  133. Emily says...

    These are so cute! I miss these silly conversations and glimpses into life at that age. My son is almost ten (and beginning to understand what swears actually mean-though he still not quite there) and recently shared a story with me about a frustrating group dynamic in his classroom. He was partnered with a girl in his class for a math project and the child is very set in her ways (my child also is). The group was trying to figure out how to approach a problem and the little girl was unyielding in her approach. After some time, my child figured out that he wouldn’t be able to even get her to consider another point of view so he said, “Mom, I finally just said to myself, you know what, I don’t take a shit about this.”

    I am still laughing over that one. I did explain to him that the proper use of the word is “give” and we laughed at the idea that you can say swears quietly in your mind but never out loud at school!

    • Nicole says...

      Haha this is so cute, omg.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg too hilarious! i love little kids! your son sounds awesome.

    • MA says...

      Awesome!!!! I could see my own 10 yo son doing/saying the same thing! And really like your “saying it in your head” idea. Going to use that one down the road.

    • Katie says...

      Oh that’s outstanding. As a teacher, I LOVE hearing how he shared this dynamic with you AND had this whole interior monologue unto himself & moved ahead! That’s just so fantastic. ( I once read that teaching manners really ‘respects the interior life of the child’ – e.g., that it’s not only okay but likely that you won’t like everyone, but you gotta keep that knowledge to yourself & figure out how to work together despite any differences.) Anyway, this made me laugh out loud. What a gem!

  134. Logan G says...

    It is a GOOD DAY when we get to hear from Toby & Anton!

    • ann says...

      Agreed!

  135. Nicole says...

    My boys are 8 and 5, and their conversations with each other are priceless! I started private Twitter accounts for each of them a while back just so I could keep track of some of the hilarious things they’d talk about in the car, at dinner, at bedtime, etc. One recent lol moment:
    5 yo: “Who was Jesus again?”
    8 yo: “He was the guy they tied to a cross and shot”
    Thanks for the laughs this morning… I think Dwayne Johnson needs to pay T & A a visit!

  136. Alissa Moghtaderi says...

    Oh my goodness, these are amazing! Anton in particular really has some gems there. He also seems like he’s got some unusually sophisticated self-awareness, doing some cognitive behavioral therapy on himself by talking about bugs to work through his fear of them. I predict he has a career in psychiatry ahead of him!

  137. Laura says...

    Your children entertain me to no end! Love reading posts like this one :)

  138. Heidi Hooten says...

    Toby and Anton conversations are my favorite part of this whole blog.

  139. Whitney says...

    On a recent visit to my parents’ house my three old announced she had to poop. When I asked if she wanted help wiping she replied, “no, I want Onna (my mom) to do it. She’s a good wiper.” My husband and I will not let my mom live that title down!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahaha

  140. Mom of boys says...

    These posts are great!

    I was driving my boys (age 7 and 10) home from school.
    10 year old, “What’s for dinner?”
    me, “homemade sushi.”
    10 year old, “Awesome, did you get salmon and hamachi?”
    me, “Yes.”
    7 year old, “You shouldn’t eat hamachi.”
    me, “Why?”
    7 year old, “Because it has Mars in it.”

    It took me and my 10 year old a good amount of time to realize he meant Mercury…”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that is so cute! although can we also talk about how you make homemade sushi???? :) :) :)

    • Ahahahaha!! I absolutely love it when it takes a moment to realize how in the world they came up with something, and then suddenly it makes sense!! That’s hysterical!

    • Sasha says...

      We used to make homemade sushi a lot when my girls still lived at home. You buy a packet of nori sheets, pat some cooled sushi rice on the nori (short grain rice cooked, then rice vinegar and salt and honey, boiled, poured over cooked rice, to make it sticky). Add strips of veggies (cukes, carrots, peppers, spinach leaves, lettuce, pickles, tomato, green onions, avocado, baked marinated tofu- do a few kinds for each roll). Then roll up, slice, serve with soy sauce, pickles ginger, black sesame seeds, wasabi. It’s really pretty easy and fun to make, super yummy for a picnic in the summer.

    • A says...

      We just “made” homemade sushi with friends over drinks this weekend — using the SUSHI BAZOOKA. It’s dorky and so not an authentic way to make sushi but it tastes amazing and is so fun! Amazon it!! I bet Toby and Anton would have a blast using it, Joanna!

    • Jill says...

      Reminds me… My five year old wandered into the living room where I was watching tennis… a powerful African american lady you might have heard of was playing… He said, ‘ mommy, how’s your anus doing?’. I said ‘my what now???’ and he said ‘Uranus. No wait. I mean Venus. How’s Venus doing????’

    • Kristen says...

      I have so many of those times when it takes a few moments (or days) to make sense of what my kids are saying! The first time I explained the Tooth Fairy to my 4 year old Seattleite, his only question was “Mom, have you ever ridden on that fairy?” It didn’t even strike me as a particularly strange until hours later when we drove past the water and I realized that he’d been picturing a Tooth Ferry visiting kids’ bedrooms at night to collect teeth!

  141. Lauren says...

    My guy will be 3 in September, and your last picture reminded me how much he loves to wear “tattoons” (rhymes with cartoons) …. but only for a day. I always have to scrub it off at bath time!

  142. Louisa says...

    I’ve started keeping track of questions I can’t answer to my three-year-old’s satisfaction:
    “Mommy, why is that not a coffee shop?” (Asked about an apartment building.)
    “Mommy, why don’t we have a toothpick?”

    If I turn the tables (what do you think?): “NO, Mommy. You don’t ask questions. I ask questions.”

    • Alex says...

      HAHAHAHAH. Classic 3 year old response.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha

  143. Katherine says...

    House plant!!!! ?

  144. Jenny says...

    “House Plant.” Hahahaha.

  145. Nicole says...

    Haha, I love this!

    I’m the eldest cousin in my family at 24. I have cousins that are aged 8-4, and yesterday my 8-year-old cousin said:

    “Nicole, since you’re like kinda an almost adult (in his mind you’re a full adult when you have babies), um, what is your favorite part of being an adult so far?”

    Ha, I thought it was so cute! Like he was interviewing me :)

    • ann says...

      So cute!

    • brianna says...

      So, what was your answer, Nicole?

  146. Summer says...

    Well, this made my day! They both seem so wise for little guys (and can Anton get an amen on his bug plan?!)!

  147. Katie. H says...

    I love hearing what Toby and Anton have to say! These posts always bring a smile to my face, especially Anton on bugs. What a big heart!