Motherhood

Conversations With a Three-Year-Old

Conversations With a Three-Year-Old

Three years old is a magic age for funny conversations. Kids are old enough to have lots to say, but young enough for it to not make complete sense. Anton has been on fire recently, and I wish I could freeze him at this age! Here are a few things we’ve chatted about…

Me: “Would you like to take a fun class this summer?”
Anton: “Yes. Soccer, skateboarding or banana throwing.”

The other night, he wanted me to keep cuddling him at bedtime. “Do you want me to get your piggy or bear instead?” I asked. “No!” he said, “I need someone ALIVE.”

Anton has gotten really into figuring out what’s “cool.” His new game, which we play almost every night, is where he puts on my old sunglasses and walks down the hallway (albeit usually on tiptoe). Then he instructs me: “Pretend we’ve never met and you think I’m cool.” So, I’ll say, “Wow! That guy looks cool! What a cool guy. I wonder if he’ll hang out with us. I hope so. Wow, he’s very, very cool.”

Anton is obsessed with all things knights these days (especially this book). The other day, I was putting him to bed, and he got all loving and cuddly and he grabbed my cheeks with his hands and exclaimed, “Mama, you’re so knight-y!”

Me: “What present should I get Daddy? Do you have any ideas?”
Anton: “Lightbulbs.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, totally, but what about something that’s just for fun?”
Anton: “Lightbulbs are fun for Daddy! And keys, too! Oh, I know — a drawer full of coffee! I want Daddy to have fun coffee.”

Toby used to have an imaginary wife and two kids, and Anton is now following suit. He was talking about his imaginary wife the other day, and I asked what her name was. He looked around the room and said, “Um, um… Chair-y!” Since then, they’ve had two children: Window-y and Table-y.

Meanwhile, six-year-old Toby has been talking non-stop about babies. He has even launched a heartfelt campaign for us to have a third. He asks Alex and me all the time, writes lists of baby names, and has been studying The Baby Tree book to figure out exactly how we can make this happen. I guess he has been chatting about it a lot, because I’ve gotten multiple emails from his teachers congratulating us on expecting a baby girl this spring!

Conversations With a Three-Year-Old

What funny things have your kids come up with lately? I would love to hear… :)

P.S. Kids in conversation, and going on a date.

(Photos from Instagram.)

  1. Nate says...

    Goodness I love kids. I love the 2ish to 3.5ish age when we can have all these conversations and I can almost visualize how their minds are working and connecting thoughts and concepts. I’m just drawn in and fascinated.

    Our youngest is ALMOST there (finally!). She’s coming up on 2 and does plenty of talking, but mostly has ‘mock conversations’ for now. I’m trying to have patience for the actual conversations. :)

  2. amanda says...

    What a lovely post! Thanks for letting us share those moments with you. So sweet….

  3. Jenn says...

    “Pretend we’ve never met and you think I’m cool” I’m dying! ?

    • I know, that comment got me, too! Gosh, I love little comments like that. So innocent.

  4. Melisa says...

    The night of Obama’s farewell address (in mid-Jan):
    Me: D, you need to go to bed. I have to watch the president give a speech.
    D: Who’s that?
    Me: The President? He’s the guy who runs our country.
    D: No he doesn’t!
    Me: He doesn’t?
    D: NO! Santa does. He’s got the reindeer and the presents.

    If only. #santa2020

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i would totally vote for santa.

    • Geraldine Conway says...

      #satan 2016
      #santa 2020

    • Kerri says...

      LOL best thread right here.

    • Kate says...

      Amazing!

  5. Lauren says...

    My almost 3-year-old son was “helping” me fold laundry the other day when he pulls a bra out of the laundry basket and declares, so proud of himself, “Look mama! I found your nipple case!!” Too funny…. I love this age!

    • Oh my gosh! One of my mom’s favorite stories about me from childhood is that once when I was helping her sort folded laundry (saying whose clothes they were and which room they should go to) I got to one of her bras and said “and this is mommy’s nipple strap!”

  6. Louise says...

    Little Guy: Can you sit next to my bed and stay with me [after he was in bed]
    Me: But you have so many friends in bed with you to keep you company [I point to his stuffed animals]
    Little Guy: I need a talking friend

  7. Caitlin says...

    Please do a post like this at least once a month! This made my day! While we don’t have any babies yet I have 5 nieces and nephews and I can honestly say hanging out with them and listening to the things they say are the best things in life!

    • Carrie says...

      Agreed! 4 nephews between 2 – 9 years old and a baby niece. They just light up my life!

  8. My two boys (3 &5) were having a little argument about something inconsequential yesterday. When the older stormed off in a huff my 3yr old turned me and said: “Mommy, you need to take Conner back to the Conner store – I want a new Conner! You must take this angry Conner back and swop him for a happy one!”
    It took every inch of my self-control to commiserate with him rather than giggle!

    Thank you for sharing these special moments of yours, they’re an absolute delight!

  9. Rachael says...

    What gorgeous boys you have! I too am delighting in my 18 month son Owen’s developing language and interpretation of the world around him. Recently we visited Bunnings, our local hardware store, to collect packing boxes. I explained to Owen “We are going to get some Bunnings boxes.” “Bunnies boxes!” Owen yelled. He is mad about bunnies and has a large collection of plush bunnies at home. “No, Bunnings,” I repeated. “Bunnies!” “No, not bunnies. Bunnings.” This went on for a while. When we arrived at Bunnings I said “See, this is Bunnings. It’s a hardware store. There aren’t any bunnies here.” Owen nodded pensively. I thought the matter was settled, but as I was loading the boxes in our car Owen said “Mummy, Owen wants a box.” When I asked why, he said “To put my bunnies in!”

  10. Cherie says...

    My two were always coming out with funny sayings, I started writing them in a note book. We get it out from time to time to have a laugh now that they’re a little older. A favourite:
    “G, we have to clean up this mess, it’s out of control”
    “Ugh, why can’t we just get a tiny robot to do this for us?”
    “I wish that were possible but it’s not”
    “Then we’re going to need a tiny miracle”.
    (Also, we really liked ‘The Kiss that Missed’ a knight themed bedtime tale)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg hahahaha, i love little kids so much.

  11. shopgirl (eu) says...

    Ha, ha, ha! So funny! You don’t need to go to any stand up…

  12. Tanya says...

    Oh man! Our “three and a half big” son is such a kick! We had our second son before Christmas so our baby-on-the-way conversations fit right in with the nativity story, which became his fave (actually he memorized it, in the King James – thee and thou, behold and lo the angel of the Lord!) He would run into any given room and shout “Fear Not!”

    He wanted to name the baby Jesus and asked if we would get a manger for our baby. No.

    The zenith of this experience came at the supper table:

    “Mama, was the baby Jesus born out of Mary’s vagina?”

    Yes.

    “Did he have a placenta?”

    Yes, I imagine so.

    Out of the mouth of babes ?

    • LOL!

  13. Sadie says...

    I never get tired of reading about Anton & Toby’s thoughts.

    My son is Anton’s age, and he is constantly coming out with things that make us laugh. Lately, he has little scripts that he likes to recite for various events. We call them his “litanies.” I usually don’t share bathroom-related things, but here is his “Litany for Going to the Bathroom.”
    Him: “I have to go potty right now!”
    Us: “Well, go on up!” (the bathroom is upstairs)
    Him (desperately): “But I need someone to per-tect me!” (Protect)
    Us: “We will listen for you to make sure you’re okay.”
    Him: “Will you listen to me and take care of me and per-tect me?”
    Us: “We will.”
    Him: “Will you listen to the pee go ‘splish!’ and the water go ‘splash!’ and the poop go ‘plump!’?”
    Us, choking back our laughter and being very serious: “We will.”

    Then he goes up the stairs and bravely uses the toilet while we giggle uncontrollably into the couch cushions. My favorite part is that he came up with the onomatopoeia on his own. “Plump!” I can’t take it.

  14. Bethany says...

    A couple recent ones:
    With a polished-off plate in front of her, 3yr old says, “mamma, can you make that pasta again another night?” Pause….”if you can remember what you put in it…”

    On discussing the universe with her dad:
    “…and are my toys part of the universe?”
    “Yes”
    “Oh good.”
    30 second pause
    “…and the dentist?”

    Getting ready for bed:
    Her: mamma i like your pajamas
    Me: thanks
    Her: but why don’t you say it properly, like ‘Thank You’?
    Me: ?

  15. T says...

    This is so absolutely sweet!

  16. Leanne says...

    My daughter Lucy aged 7: “Mum how come Grandma ‘Maisie’ knows so much about dad when he was a little boy?
    Me: “Because she’s his mummy”
    Lucy to older sister : Whaaaatttt??? “Steph! Steph! – did you know that Grandma Maisie is dads mum????”

  17. My daughter is almost 3 years old and when I tell her she is so delicious, she looks at me sternly and says “I am not a sandwich, Mama!”

  18. Oh your sons are so adorable. I am in constant awe of little people and their strong sense of self in this world.

    My niece is three and can comfortably name the planets across the solar system in order. She’s even told me Pluto is no longer a planet and that I’ll need a scarf and gloves if I’m going to visit there.

    I mean wow – she’s teaching me and I’m 24 years older than she is!

  19. Claire says...

    My 22-month-old daughter has learned all her body parts but has fixated on private parts as a point of fascination lately. Last night, laying in her crib, while I lay beside her in the dark, she listed all the things she knows and asks if they have a vagina or a penis. So, Lou: “Mama, ‘gina?” Me: “Yes, mama has a vagina”; Lou: “Luna (a dog from the park), ‘gina?” Me: “Yes, Luna has a vagina”; “Dada, penis?” Me: “Yes, dada has a penis”; Lou: “Chair, penis?” Me: “No, the chair doesn’t have a penis”, and so on and so on…

    • Alexandra says...

      This comment made me literally LOL :D. Thank you.

  20. So sweet! <3

  21. Midge says...

    My favorite thing my daughter ever said was when she wanted to play spa and put pickles on her eyes.

    I mean. Doesn’t that sound AWFUL?

  22. Elizabeth says...

    This is the best thing I’ve read all day! I’d be OK with a regular What-Anton-Said series on here : )

  23. The ALIVE response had me in stitches!

    This is from my 2 year old Franco.
    Franco: I’m married to mommy.
    Me: That is so sweet! I love you. Now go tell daddy!
    Franco: Daddy, I’m married to mommy.
    Husband: But if you’re married to mommy, who’s daddy married to?
    Franco: Jesus

    • Jay says...

      Brilliant! So funny!

  24. Shelly says...

    I’ve never commented here before, but geez these kid sayings are killing me-hilarious. I’ve got three kiddos ages 11,7 and 5 so I have no shortage of funny kids sayings but my middle daughter takes the cake! She was probably 5 and kept asking and asking how babies get out of your belly and I wasn’t too excited at the thought of explaining that to her so I kept avoiding the question and putting her off. She wouldn’t quit though so finally I told her, well Ava actually there’s a pee hole, poop hole and a baby hole, they come out of your hootie (that’s what we call it). She looks at me and serious as can be just says, “oh, they ought to come out of your butt, it’s bigger” I love that girl so much!!

  25. Dee says...

    We took our daughter to a fancy steakhouse one time, and the waiter went around asking how we would like our steaks cooked – we all said medium. When it was her turn, she turned to me whispering and said, “uhhm mom, can I have mine large?” :)

    • Jay says...

      Made me LOL :)

  26. Aga says...

    This is so cute!

    Just tonight I was giving my 2 nephews (ages 4 and 2) a bath, and I said to the 4 year-old, “Doesn’t Finn look so different with his new haircut?” To which he replies: “Yeah, we brought home the wrong baby.”
    I burst out laughing! Kids. :)

  27. Verity says...

    These are all so funny!

    When my twins were three, they asked me ‘What was it like in your tummy, Mummy? Was it dark? Was it SCARY?’

    The most mortifying (and hilarious) moment was when one of them had a tantrum in a coffee shop and stood in the middle of the square outside shouting ‘I don’t want you to be my mummy! You’re RIDICULOUS!’

  28. virginie says...

    I read this post earlier at the office, and was literally laughing at my screen!
    Anton- no wonder- you are cool!!!
    The banana throwing class cracked me up !

  29. Ines says...

    Kid logic is great. Have you heard the This American Life episode on it? https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/188/kid-logic
    I esp. love the toothfairy episode.

    I used to babysit a brilliant 6 year old boy in London who once asked me if I was a Christian, “I’m not”, I said. “Ok, so you’re a muslim? hindu? jewish?”. He gave up guessing, but kept pushing for an answer. I sort of debated about what to say but thought I’d be honest. “I’m not sure what I believe, but I think that whether you believe in God or not, you should treat everyone with kindness and respect.” He wanted to know what “that” was called. Agnostic I guess? He shrugged, “Oh yeah, I’m christian and hindu and agnostic too”.

    His dad called me that night to tell me he was refusing to do Religious Ed homework because he told his dad he’d already “sorted that out”.

  30. amanda june says...

    i just read through all the comments and it made my day :) laughed so hard i ended up reading some of them out loud to my husband. great post, joanna!

  31. Heidi says...

    Toby and Anton’s conversations are some of my fave things on this site. Reminds me of when my oldest daughter had an imaginary friend named Toady, whose hair was blue unless she was sick and then it turned white.

  32. Katie C says...

    That is just too sweet!
    My son’s 8 now so he’s pretty much passed the, “kids say the darnedest things” phase, but what he lacks in the adorable department he now makes up for in the so-freaking-cool department! We went skateboarding today, and while we don’t get out and do it very often (thanks to good old soggy PNW weather) he totally blew my mind with how quickly he’s progressing. He’s also been learning to play guitar for the past year and a half. He recently started going to “rock school” where he gets to play in a band with 4 other boys around his age, including his best friend who plays bass. Seeing them play together is insanely cool and equally cute…but don’t tell them that;)

  33. Karen says...

    I don’t have kids but here’s a sample of what my brother entitled “ten minutes in the car with Mathew:”
    Hey Dad, is there any way to defeat a shadow?
    What if you went all the way through a ghost?
    Is there such a thing as red chocolate?
    Isn’t the auto parts store cool?
    Wouldn’t it be great to have a REAL brownie fight?

    • Karen #2 says...

      REAL brownie fight?! I guess I’ve been doing it wrong.

    • Bethany says...

      Weird, my three yr old asked me the other day about red chocolate…

  34. Amy says...

    My almost-three-year-old called a bumblebee a buzzlebee yesterday. Makes so much sense!

  35. Liz says...

    I hope Anton has seen the cartoon The Big Knights! I’m sure he’d love it!

  36. Jacy says...

    I think some posts on having special needs kids would be great. I get the privacy thing though.

  37. Oh my goodness. My sister and I were just talking about the exact same thing with my 2 and a half year old niece. She picks up on absolutely EVERYTHING and makes sure she tells us about it. It’s pretty broken English, so difficult to understand most of the time but she sure is a talker!
    Thank you for the stories about your kids. They are so freaking cute.

  38. Julie says...

    My son is 3 as well and there are gems every day that come out of him. Lately he’s been noticing people chewing some gum and asking them “what colour is your gum?”. I’m amazed at how many people oblige by showing him their gum lol. Then he’ll say “I’m almost big enough to chew gum, when I’m 4, I will have some”. Oh the goals!

  39. Rebecca says...

    These are my favorite Cup of Jo posts!

  40. Vivian says...

    When my son was Toby’s age ( he is now 37) he had an imaginary wife named Trixie & 2 children Skeetle & Super Skeetle. They lived in a semi truck & traveled all over the USA.

  41. Karen says...

    Maggie (age 5): Mommy, have you ever had a blueberry vanilla muffin? We had one at school today.
    Me: No, but it sounds delicious. What was your favorite part?
    Maggie: Eating it.
    ——
    Maggie: Mommy, who’s the boss at your work?
    Me: I am, I’m the boss.
    Maggie: So do you say “Ok everyone, now it’s time for lunch!”?
    —–
    We have a quote book at home, and I’m good about noting the funny things my girls say – I’ll email myself what they said if I’m not near the book b/c their comments are so precious (and my memory is fleeting!).

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, i love these!

  42. Leah says...

    if you find that magic freeze-them-at-3 potion, please let me know!

    sammy watching the superbowl halftime show: why is she a little bit naked, mommy?

  43. Hayley says...

    I LOVE these posts. As a teacher for the past seven years, I have had so many fun chats with kids. One of my all time favorites, from when I taught three year old, was when a little girl accidentally walked in on a boy using the toilet and said “Oh my, my penis is not that big yet.”

    I teach older students now, first through fourth grade, and my favorite question for them at lunch is “How did you parents meet?” They always have such a funny, fabulous take on the story.

  44. sev2108 says...

    We were driving the other day and my 3-year old daughter heard a motorcycle. She asked me what it was – I explained it was a motorcycle – a cross between a car and a bike. She said, “when I’m a mommy (her version of when i’m grown up), I’ll drive a motorcycle.” I said they were dangerous and maybe she wouldn’t. She replied with. “You’re right momma. I don’t like motorcycles. Dangerous is a little too spicy for me”.

    • liz says...

      Dangerous is a little too spicy for me – needs to be on tshirts! so great.

  45. Amy says...

    While putting my three year old to bed, he asked me to sing a song and was trying to describe it to me. I wasn’t getting it, so he said, “Let me go down in my sheet basement!” He proceeded to lift up his pillow and put his head under, muttering, ” Boy, it’s dark in here.” Out he pops with a pretend paper in his hand and says, “Here are the instructions! Let me put them in your mouth!”

  46. Em says...

    My little three year old made her own bottle and was so proud. I suggested she was too old for that and her proud little face crumpled. I felt so bad for not approaching it differently. I apologised and it went like this
    “Sorry for making you sad bug, are you ok”. Small nod. Later, when going to bed
    O “Mummy, say sorry for making me sad”.
    Me “Sorry bug. But why are you sad again?” (just checking in)
    O ” ummmmmm. Because you flapped your arms around like this”
    Me” ok…….”
    O ” oh, and that dress is really scary. The dots are scary”. Ha ha.

    She also asked “Daddy, do you use your penis to wipe your bottom”.

    • Alexandra says...

      OMG the last question :D !

  47. Lisa says...

    We were living in the Chicago area when my son was in kindergarten. His class was learning about hills and valleys. His teacher told me that when she asked the class if anyone knew what a valley was, my baby raised his hand and said “it is the man who parks your car at the restaurant”. We realized we need to eat at home more often! My son is 13 now!!! EEPS!!!

  48. Lisa says...

    So far all my son can say is Mama or duck so not many great conversations going on there … but my friend’s three year old is OBSESSED with elephants. Literally talks about them all the time. Last time I saw him he had this very long, involved story about an elephant and a tiger. So cute!

  49. My 6 year old daughter has a loose tooth that is taking forever to fall out. She named it… Moby Dick.

  50. Jules says...

    My 3 year old got some new dinosaur toys and told me: “The dinos say going to the bathroom is cool…but not that cool.” Haha.

    He fell off his chair while eating a snack in the kitchen and said “That’s why we should have pillows in there. So I can bounce.”

    3 is such a great age, but so is 2! Our middle boy just turned two and I was just telling my husband how much I love this age.

  51. His desire to be cool is killing me! What a funny guy. Your children are so delightful. I remain so charmed by Toby and his love for dates, sport jackets, and the violin :)

    • Em says...

      Can’t forget Indian food! :-)

  52. These are my favorite. If you find a good banana-throwing class can you let me know? All the ones around here have terrible reviews.

  53. Cynthia says...

    My two girls are now in their twenties, but this is one of my favorites…

    overheard while they were playing…

    Little Sister: “What did Mom say it’s called? A China?”
    Big Sister: “No, silly they’d never name it after the state!”

    We still cry every time:)

  54. This reminds me so much of when I myself was a little kiddo; I used to say “I need someone ALIVE!”, too all the time!

  55. Kerry says...

    When my kid was 3, he looked at my salad and said: “Um, actually, I think you are having a big bowl of leaves for dinner.”

    My other kid, when he was 3, said, “What’s the private girl part called again… Like, it’s your magenta, or something like that?”

  56. Alex says...

    I have a 16 month old, and she’s getting the hang some words here and there. When she’s hungry she walks into the kitchen, bangs on the fridge and shouts “NANA!” (aka Banana) over and over until until we come in and get her something to snack on. She also says “Bye Doo-Dah” to literally everyone when its time to go. This post makes me so excited to hear what she comes up with when she starts stringing words together into sentences. Congrats on raising such adorable and sweet boys Joanna!

  57. Sarah says...

    Oh my gosh!! How adorable is he?? Love it. My son is 6 and always wants to sleep with me. I let him when my husband is gone for work so when he can’t, he always says how he can’t wait to get married to have someone to sleep with.

    • Julie D says...

      om gosh that it so cute!

  58. Claire says...

    First of all, you are much better at taking criticism in the comments than I am! I was ready to respond to a few of these – but your clear head and sweet nature has prevailed!

    My oldest is 3 and talking to him is the best! He calls snuggling “hanging out” and he’s really into ninjas and magic spells right now. He is constantly ‘casting’ spells and then yells “Ninja Away” and hurls himself to the side of whatever he’s doing.

  59. Putting 3 year old to sleep the other night:

    Roman: “mama, I need to take my socks off”
    Me: “okay honey, I’ll help you, where are your feet?!”
    Roman: “In my socks.”

    Also, recently he sat in an empty box from Amazon, folded the flaps up around himself and just said “send me to the forest.”

  60. Alexa says...

    My son, who is 4 and 3/4 (that’s a very important part, that three quarters) recently got a camera that he loves. My husband asked if he wanted to take a selfie and he turned to us, giggled and said: “Instead, what if I take a buns-ie?” and shook his tush.

    • Yes!! Bunsies happening on my next night out! Genius.

  61. Lindsey says...

    My daughter was telling me that you can marry anyone, boy or girl, whoever you love. I told her that’s right, you marry the person that your heart tells you love, and after a beat of silence she says, “So, um, I’m going to marry Adele!” You and me both, honey bear!

    • Sequoia says...

      You truly melted my cold dark heart!

  62. I love it, and it’s sooo true – they just say it as they see it don’t they?!
    My 2.5 year old son makes me laugh all the time and I actually posted some of his latest offerings over on my blog last week!

  63. My four year old uses the same naming convention as Anton! As we anticipate the arrival of a new baby, we occasionally talk about names with her and ask her to suggest some. She always looks around the room and says “blankety” or “pillowy” it’s hilarious!

    On the same topic of expecting a baby, my two (almost three) year old is having a difficult time understanding gender and the title of sister/brother. An example:

    Mommy: A, do you want a sister or brother?
    A: A sister
    M: Because you love your big sister so much?
    A: No, I want a boy sister.

  64. t says...

    On saturday we drove past a large rainbow flag and our son exclaimed “look at the rainbow flag!” and then i proceeded to really botch a response.

    me: that flag represents love and support of the gay and lebsian community. momma and I are lesbians because we are both girls and we love each other.
    daughter: I’m a girl and i love you. i’m a lesbian!

    • This just cracked me up and made my heart warm and fuzzy, too. What an adorable misunderstanding!

    • Stephanie says...

      This is the best thing! How sweet and hilarious.

    • Maggie says...

      Oh that’s so sweet :) Thanks for sharing!

  65. Adrienne says...

    The other night, my five year old and I were snuggling in bed, watching music videos on the iPad. I pulled up Ani DiFranco’s “Delayed Gratification,” and Bean paused it about halfway through.
    “Mommy, did you know that a long time ago, everyone used to be black and white and gray, and we all had to go to different schools because of it? I’m so happy that we’re all in color now and we don’t have to do that any more.

    • This is so funny to me because when I was little I thought my parents couldn’t see in color when they were kids. I knew from watching Nick at Night that the TV shows they grew up with were in black and white, and I just assumed they didn’t bother making color TV because people couldn’t see in color back then.

  66. Brittany says...

    All of this is adorable and made my heart happy.

  67. Jenn says...

    My six year old had a knight phase when he was four. Our favorite book was “A Good Knight’s Rest.” Lots of funnies for the parents in there, too.

  68. liz says...

    Banana throwing class – obviously he’s hit on something that really appeals to us all and needs to happen! It’s so interesting to see how they both are developing through the things they talk about. My nephew and niece said adorable things when they were little, I miss that.

  69. Meghan says...

    This makes me a little sad… my little guy is also 3 but he has mixed receptive/expressive language delay. He had a lot of words and very functional speech, but struggles to process ‘W’ questions (what craft did you make at school today?) and can’t answer them. And he doesn’t have these silly ideas or sayings. I always looked forward to these and feel I am missing out. He has come a long way the past year, so hopefully I’ll be able to have a list of funny ‘conversations’ soon. :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i’m sorry to hear that, meghan. it must be tough to go through. one of our kids has some special needs (without getting too much into it here; i’ve been torn on how much to share on the site) and it has been really consuming and hard to navigate. thinking of you and your sweet little one! you sound like an amazing parent, and i’m sure that you’ll have a list of funny conversations before you know it. lots of love xoxoxo

    • t says...

      sending hugs meghan.

    • Lindsey says...

      That must be really hard for you, I’m really sorry. I remember when I went through infertility that I would burn with envy sometimes, and it really is such a mixed up emotion. Hugs to you!

    • Sandra says...

      Meghan, I hope you will have those funny conversations soon! I know how tough it can be to wait for words. My daughter is seven and non-verbal – and yet we have a lot of those funny moments. She can entertain her whole family with a sigh at just the right moment. She can express so much with a smile, a giggle, a skeptical look. There is a language beyond words and even though she does not speak – I often feel like I hear her. This is true for her older brother as well. He is nine and when we recently picked him up from school, he turned to her and said: “Did you have a good day?” She smiled. “I know”, he said. “I missed you, too.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      sandra, that is so, so sweet. i’m tearing up.

    • M says...

      Meghan, our son had a big speech delay and it was frustrating for everyone. As a teen, he is full of ideas and does public speaking. Your little guy will catch up! ❤

    • Sandra says...

      Meghan, I don’t know if this will make you feel better but my son had a number of delays and didn’t really do funny and imaginative conversations until after his 5th birthday. Now he’s 6 and tells me really detailed stories about his imaginary siblings and what they do at night while my husband and I are asleep (Fly to California! Drink 2 beers(!)) so those conversations may just be down the road for you…

    • Sandra says...

      Joanna, I remember you mentioning something in passing about one of your kids having issues but was kind of glad you have kept that private. I don’t tell many people about what is going on with my son (6) since once you tell you can’t un-tell that information. I feel like for us it falls under the category of his story to tell (or choose not to) when he is older. But I really did appreciate you even mentioning it. I sometimes blame myself or wonder if I did anything to cause my son’s issues, and knowing that even the child of a “cool” mom like you can have challenges is reassuring.

    • Jane says...

      Hi Meghan, I am sure people try to make you feel better all the time but my father-in-law didn’t speak a word until he was 5 years old. He is now an adult and is a NY Times Best Selling author. Sending you a big hug!

    • Ines says...

      this blog has made me appreciate my mom more than ever; you all are doing incredible <3

    • Judith says...

      Meghan, I just want to encourage you, that it does get better. I was in your shoes 6 years ago. I despaired if my kid would ever have a spontaneous conversation with us. He was still in the echolalia stage, and would parrot whole stories and songs from song, but couldn’t understand the simplest of abstract ideas like ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Now he definitely does all the ‘W’ questions, including the much-awaited ‘Why!!’. On hindsight, I realise that all that teaching and therapy and long one-sided conversations were percolating deep inside that little kid, and he blossomed in his own time. There are challenges in parenting a special needs child, but when you hit those milestones, its so so sweet! Hang in there:)

    • Meghan says...

      Seriously… I am just seeing all these replies to my comment now and have tears in my eyes. You all have been so encouraging and have made me feel so hopeful. My son is amazing and we learn so much from him. He has come so far in the past while and I am so proud of him every single day – I do believe he will catch up – but it is hard to be patient and give him the time he needs. Thank you all so much, from my whole heart, truly.

      Joanna – I also remember you mentioning in passing about one of your boys. I agree – consuming and hard to navigate is exactly it. Thank you for your words. Your two boys are adorable and my favorite posts are the ones about them. You are a wonderful mom and they are so lucky for you <3

  70. Nina says...

    I have a three year old and he makes up stuff he has done with his granny. For example we went to Australia for Christmas and he went: “When I was here with Granny, she bought a crocodile.” I would ask questions, like: “Aha, and where does that crocodile live now?” “At her home, with her cat, Tom” (She doesn’t have a cat^^). The too of them have been diving, swimming in the sea and just today he told me about the red tiger that Grandma has together with the BabyGiraffe <3 I love his creativity, and I love how his older sisters would never tell him, that he is making stuff up.

  71. Eileen says...

    So cute. Where did you buy Anton’s T? It is adorable!

  72. Giulia says...

    I am with Toby! Nobody, and I mean nobody, believed me when I went about (aged 6) sharing the (actual!) news of my mum’s pregnancy. It may be, perhaps, because I had been assuring everybody that she had been pregnant every couple of weeks for a solid year, even disclosing gender (always a baby sister) and the various names my parents had chosen. Go Toby, I know how wanting one more little sibling feels!!! :)

  73. These are always some of my favourite posts! The cool guy thing is HILARIOUS! Thank you so much for making me laugh out loud at my desk today :)

  74. Betty says...

    Are you concerned about his toe walking? As a physical therapist, I would recommend addressing it.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much for your note! i appreciate it. he actually only walks on his tiptoes when he is trying to be cool. it’s part of his cool swagger for some reason, ha!

    • Katie says...

      My little one is two next month and does a lot of toe walking when he is being silly around the house. I haven’t thought much about it; otherwise he is very active and can run and walk quite well. I think I might bring it up with the doctor our next visit though – thanks.

  75. Lana says...

    Wait. Baby announcement?! Amazing!!! Can’t wait for more adorable baby posts

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      no, sadly, he just really WANTS one!

    • June2 says...

      maybe get him one of those realistic baby dolls? though i quess he may counter with a more strident request for one that’s “ALIVE”!

  76. Sarah says...

    I was bathing my 1 yr old with his 3 yr old cousin- she watched from the bath as I took his nappy off and exclaimed “I’m getting in the bath with a baby willy, that baby willy better not touch me. If that baby willy comes near me I will say get away baby willy in the name of Jesus???!!!”

    • Alex says...

      Gold.

  77. Brettne says...

    Three is such a cute and hilarious age! When my older daughter was three and learning about different musical instruments, I told her that her dad used to live next door to a woman who played the harp in the symphony, so he used to hear her practicing all the time. A few days later, I received a call from my daughter’s preschool teacher. “We understand from Eloisa that your husband plays the harp in the symphony! We had no idea. We’d love to have him in to perform for our students. Is he free tomorrow?” Oops!

  78. Loribeth says...

    Your sweet take on parenting and what you share about your kids is so encouraging to me!
    My mother didn’t seem to really enjoy parenting and it makes me nervous about being a parent one day.

    • Mary says...

      Loribeth, hang in there, I’ve always loved kids and I’m hoping to start a family soon. I had a similar mother and I was so afraid I’d do the same to my kids by default but I have gained in confidence and self love over the last year in particular and am no longer afraid of doing that. You’ll be a great mother in time I’m sure. Sending you a hug! ?

    • jules says...

      I was terrified to have a child or the same reason. Convinced I’d hate the process, that I might not like the kid. I was adamantly childless – then got pregnant at 41. Up until the moment I had him, I didn’t feel truly attached and I was scared. Yet… None of those fears were realized. I adore my son and the process has let me forgive my mother and face the pain in a healing way nothing else did.

      Everyone is different but have faith! Despite pop psychology, we are NOT our parents or at least, don’t have to be.

  79. I don’t have kids, but I have young cousins who are endlessly entertaining…

    One of my cousins turned 8 last week, and my uncle sent around a video of him giving a toast (!!) after breakfast the morning of his birthday!

    Him (glass of OJ in hand): I’d like to make a toast. For this birthday is the most special birthday of all the birthdays I’ve had. It is an honor to be here with Candy Cane (the name of their Elf on the Shelf, who makes special appearances throughout the year), Mommy and Daddy and my brother and sister.

  80. So cute!! :)

  81. P: Mama, what’s Glasgow?
    Me: A city in Scotland?
    P: No, it looks like peanut butter but it’s white and doesn’t taste good?
    Me: Crisco???
    Yes. Yes it was.

  82. Oh Joanna, it is so wonderful seeing your boys grow up before our eyes! I’ve been reading this blog for a long time, so it’s been a treat watching your boys develop into these quirky fun kids!

    I would like to make an observation. I know parents love all their kids equally, but “favorites” sometimes tend to evolve. I feel like one of your boys is starting to take the lead in that category, but I might be entirely wrong. Just something I’ve been picking up lately through your social media, but I know that doesn’t say much as I don’t know you. I was not the favorite of either parents, and I picked up on it very early in my life and see it happen among my friends with kids all the time, so it’s gut-wrenching to observe. I want to be wrong!
    Maybe it would be worth doing a post about someday, in general?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, that is so funny because i literally said to alex last night that all my instagram photos lately have been of anton! but in real life, i actually spend more time with toby. no favorites emerging for sure, just a funny social media development — probably because three year olds are more willing to get their photos taken! :)

    • Hahaha well then!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      PS your comment actually inspired a fascinating conversation in our office about our own parents’ favorites, whether some/most parents have favorites, etc! a very interesting topic for sure. thank you so much, paula!

    • Lizzie says...

      For what it’s worth, for a couple of years after Anton was born, I used to wonder if Toby was the favorite!

    • Katie says...

      Right now, my instagram has way more pictures of my 4 month old than of my 2 year old, and it’s only because any picture taken of the toddler would just be a blur on the camera! Haha he’s always on the go! Little brother, on the other hand, is a more obliging target. :)

    • Kristi says...

      Ha. I have a ton more photos right now of my three year old (vs my eight and five year olds) because the three year old can still smile naturally. The other two get that affected weird goofy face thing going on when I tell them to smile, so it is just so much easier to take pics of the little one. Seems like that happens around age 4? I still try to get photos of the other two (and save some of the weird smile ones), but they just aren’t that great.

    • I see this in my social media as well! I have three kids and sometimes looking back on photos, it all looks so unbalanced. But it just depends on who is closest and most willing to be photographed…

  83. Maggie says...

    Banana throwing made me laugh!

    I’ve been sitting for the same family for nearly 9 years, and sometimes I run out of games to suggest. Last time I had them for a whole afternoon, our convo took a bit of a funny turn:
    “Wanna play Uno?” No
    “Wanna play Go Fish” No
    “Wanna play Sorry” No
    “Wanna throw bananas at each other?” Silence
    YES

    So we did. We went into the driveway and threw bananas at each other until they exploded like 30 seconds later. Definitely a waste of perfectly good food, but the birds were happy and the 9 year old was laughing like a maniac. Sometimes it’s fun to just surprise them by suggesting something wacky :)

    xo

    • Louisa says...

      you sound like the best babysitter ever.

    • This made me laugh so much, Maggie! I love it!

  84. stephanie says...

    My three-year-old daughter requires that I play a guessing game as every Sesame Street character. Every Sesame Street character gets super disappointed when he or she actually guesses correctly, and she gives the same clue to everyone: “Okay, pretend everyone on Sesame Street is guessing who the president is. Cookie Monster — here’s a clue: His name starts with a “D” and rhymes with “dump” – okay go!”

  85. Alice says...

    3 is such good chat age, I completely agree. And Anton has always seemed like a kid who throws curve ball conversations. Would love a chat with him! Banana throwing is a class I could get behind, and I love knight-y. When my eldest was 2 he said ‘cake’ for anything and everything good.

    This morning, now 3, in discussions about my 1 year old:
    Him: Was he in your tummy?
    Me: Yes
    Him: And I was in your tummy?
    Me: Yes, but not together
    Him: Yes, and me was in your tummy, and grow and done, and then slide down in your legs and then shoot out
    Me: Well, not quite like that.
    Him: Yes. It was. It looks really really dangerous but actually, it’s not.

    Also, he says Donald Trump to mean pass gas (verb). Does ‘trump’ mean that in most places? It does round here, and we couldn’t resist the opportunity.

    • Shoot out! Hahaha!!

  86. Jess T says...

    My boys were painting watercolour cards on the weekend for their dad’s birthday today and my three year old said, “I painted a garbage card. I know daddy likes garbage because he takes it out to the curb every Tuesday night!” Chores… hobbies… no difference, right?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      no difference AT ALL. :)

    • Mary says...

      Oh my goodness I’m cracking up reading these! Hooray for wonderful three year olds and parents who take the garbage out (for fun!) ??

  87. Jane says...

    My three year old was having a hard time pronouncing tissue and it always took me forever to realize when he was asking for one.

    Then one day it dawned on me, he was saying “tish-me” instead of “tish-you.”

    Because logically, he needed it for himself. I love the way his brain works :)

    • Kate says...

      Oh my gosh, this is great! Your little one sounds so smart and clever :)

    • Carrie says...

      Oh my gosh that is the cutest thing ever!!

  88. Amy says...

    Since she could talk I have written down all the funny things my daughter has said in a book. “Santa is my real dad,” “I’m really getting into kitties”. She’s 8 years old now, and recently said, “my leg fell asleep. I think I will let it rest.” She was serious and joking in the way that reminds me childhood is only a few short years.

  89. My boyfriend has a 4-year-old boy who is with us on the weekends. Lately, when he really likes something he’ll say “I can’t even handle it!” Then, if I say I like something (like, oh, this is delicious ice cream!) he’ll ask “can you even handle it?”

    The other thing that always kills us is when he’s eating, the second he puts a veggie in his mouth (usually after some coaxing and reminding) he sticks out his tiny, skinny, wobbly little arm, grimaces, and says “feel my muscles!” Then we have to give his arm a squeeze and fawn over how strong he is because he eats his vegetables. We keep trying to redirect the conversation to how veggies help you feel good and nourish your body in other ways, but he’s just so stuck on how veggies make him “strong.”

    I can’t get over how his mind works. He is constantly talking and telling stories and incorporating things he’s heard us say or seen in such crazy and inventive ways. The cutest is if we overhear something and ask him about it, he quickly says “oh! nothing! just talking to myself…”

    • Rachel says...

      I can’t even handle the cuteness.

  90. Jessica says...

    Me: I love the wind
    C (3yo): Me too
    Me: It looks like trees are dancing
    C: If I pee outside and it gets on my pants, it dries my pants. That’s why I like it.
    ——–
    C very into the idea of hibernating:
    C: Mom, would you miss me if I was hibernating?
    Me: Yes, a lot.
    C: But you always tell me to sleep more
    Me: Yes, but hibernating is for a long time
    C: Oh, not for me, for me it would be short. I would just eat a lot of nuts and build a nest but not sleep a lot.
    (Oh so even in her make believe world, she doesn’t sleep much. Gah!)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, i love her! what a character :)

  91. Mauresa says...

    Miriam, age 4: “My foot is asleep.”
    Me: “Why is your foot asleep?”
    Ian, age 6: “Probably because it’s getting late.”

    • Kate says...

      Hahahaha! This is so great! How precious :)

  92. Haha, I always love reading the things kids say – they are always the cutest and usually SO HILARIOUS. I can’t wait to one day record them from children of my own. :)
    http://www.wonderlandsam.com

  93. laetitia says...

    Little boys ARE the cutest, I wish I could freeze my 3 year old in time too!
    And my 5 year old is like Toby, talking a lot about babies! He announced the other day that he got engaged to a little girl at school (“she said yes”) and that they agreed to have 9 babies. He wants to call them with all of my husband’s buddies names (???), so funny!

  94. Our 3-year-old niece Caitie is super into sharks right now. Earlier this month, we asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and she said she wanted a shark. “A real one that is pink or maybe black and swims in my tub. Don’t worry, it won’t eat me. Sharks only eat water!” We found this hilarious shark costume on Amazon and gave it to her. She was a bit shy about trying it on with all of us watching. She said she needed to take it home and try it on at home first. Haha!

  95. Laura says...

    heart..bursting! :)

  96. Jessica says...

    We love The Baby Tree book! Read it a lot to our daughter when I was pregnant with our son and liked it so much I ended up giving a copy to my OB/GYN for her littles! :-)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i really love it, too! it’s so sweet and curious and well done.

  97. Danielle says...

    Love this! I used to be a nanny to 6 kids. When one of the boys was three I would pick him up from preschool a couple of days a week. Because of scheduling it was a little window of time where it was just the two of us. I would usually stop at Starbucks on our way home. One day, after I paid he said, “Hey let’s sit down and chat for a little while”. So that became our routine- me with my coffee and him with hot chocolate.
    Everyone at Starbucks knew him because he always used the bathroom when he was there and he would sing the entire time and everyone could hear :).
    I love that age so much!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, what a dollface!!!! i love little boys so, so much.

  98. Carrie says...

    This totally made my morning!!! This is what life is all about. It makes me excited to have a family some day :)

    • Sofia says...

      My baby is now 2 and she sure loves talking. She cracks me up everyday and I can’t even imagine how it will be when she turns 3.
      I’ m wondering how you register all of these, if you don’t mind sharing. I’m keeping a 5 year journal (1 paragraph a day) for her but I wonder maybe just a regular notebook to write down the standouts would actually a better idea.

    • Sofia says...

      Uops, my previous comment was not supposed to be a direct reply to Carrie but a general comment on the post. Sorry.

  99. Apparently, when I was in preschool, we made a book about our feelings. The teachers gave us the feeling and we had to describe something that made us feel happy, angry, etc.

    My mother loves to remind me, some 35-ish years later, about how I told everyone in school that I “get sad when my mommy only gives me stale carrots and water for dinner”. (She never really did that of course but, I was just thinking of what would make me sad – and that was it.)

  100. Elise says...

    My Mum & Dad were most surprised when they received a congratulatory card from my playgroup teachers congratulating them on their new baby James; considering my new brother’s name was Daniel…

    My Mum was also very unimpressed having driven me and my hamster the hours drive to school (I usually got the bus) for “Bring your pet to school day” only to find out that no such day existed…

    • OMG! That reminds me of the time I MADE my mom hand make me a pilgrim costume for 2nd grade Thanksgiving and no one else was dressed up.

      Or when I made her dress like a clown to my day camp’s family night – when no other parents were dressed up. I don’t remember that but she sure does!

      My poor mom.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, the clown!!!!! hahahah the things parents do for their kids!!!

    • Sasha says...

      My brother was born when I was five, and I remember confidently telling our neighbours what his name was, which did not turn out to be his name at all. I remember being embarrassed about it afterwards and avoiding them…
      Also, a famous child actor shared our last name, and I recall telling everyone in my childhood who would listen that he was our cousin. I even made up a little story about why we don’t see that side of the family too often.

    • Jane says...

      I know this is an ancient post, but I haven’t laughed like this in months. Maybe years. I LOVE the hamster story!

  101. My toddler’s grandparents have a stuffed animal pig named Bubblegum. Fast forward to when my toddler tasted some bubblegum flavored candy….
    Me: Do you like the bubblegum flavor?
    Him: “Hm… I guess it tastes like pig”.

  102. 400mlBakery says...

    This made me laugh so much, it was better than a drawer full of coffee on a blah Monday :)

    You are SO lucky – the medieval wing at the Met is full of knights in armor. It would probably knock Anton’s socks off. I was obsessed as a kid, and still visit it every time…

  103. julied says...

    I love those toddlers conversations, it’s priceless. Yesterday, my husband was telling my 4 year-old that they’ll go to a workshop next week at the museum. Went like this:
    Papa: do you ant to go to the museum next Sunday, for a workshop, like the one we did on dinosaurs? This one is about dogs and wolves.
    Arthur: no I don’t want to do this.
    Papa; what do you want to do?
    Arthur: I want to do one on women…
    My husband is still laughing about this…

  104. Francesca says...

    When my younger one was about three, she came to me one evening and said she wanted to meet up with a friend: now. I told her it was too late already, we could try to see her the day after. She clearly did not understand why today was too late and tomorrow sounded probably too far away so, slightly angry and deeply sad, she said: But Mamma, TODAY is tomorrow!
    I had to laugh and, at the same time, was struck by the depth of what she had said.

    • Olives says...

      When my son was three he used to ask us, “Is today tomorrow?” all the time!! So cute!

    • Francesca says...

      Such an innocent question, but also so deep because yes, the way we live our “today” shapes our “tomorrow”. Also, when I want to procrastinate something, I always think of what my daughter said that day to remind myself to live in the present the way children do.

  105. raphaëlle says...

    i love these posts so much! it makes my heart melt…
    can’t wait to have little ones!

  106. Alex says...

    I love how self- referential and nonsensical they can be.
    Me to my son: How tall do you think you’ll be when you grow up?
    Son (4): Taller than a monster’s head!

  107. Alice says...

    When we were in the bathroom at a party, my almost-2-year-old claimed he was born in that bathtub. I keep thinking about this statement and what he thinks it means!

    • Geraldine Conway says...

      was it a water birth? if so that would freak me out!

  108. After my three-year-old asked me to throw something in the trash for her and I told her she can do it, she told me, “Okay, I guess I’m like the Little Red Hen. I have to do everything myself.”

    She also told me while we were in the car running errands, “I’m really tired. Mommy I know it’s frustrating for you but we can finish our errands after naps okay?”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg laughing out loud — she sounds so wise!

  109. Kelly says...

    My 2.5 year old recently told his preschool teacher… “F*ck means you forgot your keys.” Whoops!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahahahaha!

    • Alice says...

      Ahahaha! Relating!!!

    • Maggie says...

      Hahaha this is amazing! (and true!)

    • Jay says...

      haha oops!

  110. Amber says...

    We are expecting a second child this summer. When asking my 2.5 year old about having a new sibling, the following conversation ensued.

    Husband: Do you want mommy to have a baby brother or a baby sister?
    Toddler: No.
    Husband: What if mommy brings a baby home anyway?
    Toddler: Daddy take it back.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Awwwwww! What a cutie!!

    • Liz says...

      About a month after our second baby came home, our ‘just turned three-year-old’ daughter had enough. She said, ”mommy, Joseph needs to go to a new home.’ My heart broke, but now they adore each other!

  111. This is adorable.

  112. estelle says...

    Oh my gosh, so cute! “Banana throwing” sounds awesome :)
    Our son is obsessed with dinosaurs and labels everyone as a different kind of dinosaur on a daily basis. (I’m usually Apatosaurus “because I eat plants”)
    Btw – it was great meeting you last week at the Legion screening party!

  113. Erin says...

    Your “cool guy” story made me crack up! So cute! :)

  114. Chi Chi, my 3 year old recently was putting body part stickers on blank faces in her activity book, she ripped up some edges of the sticker pages and put them on the cheeks. She said they were her “frickles”. Creative and adorable.
    We took her to see the little mermaid show at a local theater last year and she had some questions about Ursula the Sea Witch. We explained that she has a hard time being nice because she has “pain in her heart”. Doesn’t make it okay but teaches her compassion for what people have been through to lead them to make certain choices. Super interesting to hear her relate this to other characters or people since then.

  115. Vicki says...

    Tomi de Paola’s book The Knight and the Dragon is hilarious and adorable and sweet … and the princess is a librarian! My kinda princess!

  116. Could not stop laughing…”chair-y” and “window-y” especially:)

  117. kay says...

    This is the best. Thanks for making my Monday afternoon, Anton!

  118. my almost-4-year-old makes up so many interesting names and words. he’s teaching me his language “gootsoo”. “Vipala” means “hello” and “Satawa” means “goodbye.”

  119. Abby Schwartz says...

    When my daughter was little she announced to my husband and me, “I’m like a china bowl in a bull shop!”

    • liz says...

      so great

  120. Jen X says...

    I was babysitting my 4-year old Goddaughter and took her on the subway. We had just missed the train and I asked her 10-year old sister, “did you see what train that was? I just missed it.”

    10-yr old: “No, I didn’t see it.”
    4-yr old: “I saw it!!”
    Me: Pretty skeptical but… “Oh yeah, what letter was it?”
    4-yr old pauses and thinks for 2 beats and declares proudly: “T!!”
    Me: LOL
    So adorable!

  121. Lisa says...

    My five year old desperately wants another baby in our house. We’ve made the great V decision and we are done. We remind her that babies are lots of work, limit some of the alone time we have with her, etc. Needless to say, she has told her teachers and friends we have a new baby. She has also lovingly patted my stomach and said “I know you are having a baby for real because your belly is getting bigger.” Yikes.

  122. I have a 3 and a 5 year old. I love this age, everything they say, all the ideas and configurations. It is a daily gift. My older one is also campaigning for a third kid… I wish I wanted another baby but I have absolutely no desire!

  123. My four year old, Penny, asked me why people die. I said (your past blog posts helped me answer her), “People die because they’re old. Sometimes, though, people die because they’re very sick, or from accidents.
    My three year old, Lulu, piped up, “Like peeing in the ocean?”
    No, Lulu, not that kind of accident.

    • Sadie says...

      Hahahaha! I love it! My three-year-old has been processing death lately (his great-grandfather died recently) and we have been having some hilarious (and tragic) misunderstandings. We recently encountered a dead rat on the sidewalk, and he asked, “Mama, what is that?” I said, “Oh, dear. It looks like it’s a dead rat.” He thought for a minute and asked, “Did that rat used to be alive?” I don’t know why, but it just cracked me up that he though maybe there were some rats out there that were just always dead, and somehow turned up on sidewalks.

    • Jessica says...

      That’s brilliant!!

  124. This post made my heart smile! Thanks for sharing your sweet boys with us–they are the perfect antidote to an otherwise very Monday-y Monday.

    My little brother had some real gems when he was Anton’s age that I still remember to this day…One time, in the middle of playing with Legos, he looked up at our mom and asked, “Mommy…Are we like Legos to God?” I wish I could remember how she answered that one!

    My other favorite was when he was still learning how to wipe his own bottom after going #2 on the potty…My parents would have him bend over so they could check that he had, ahem, done a thorough job. He asked, earnestly, with his little butt in the air, “Why do people have to bend over?” LOL! How do you answer that one?

    • Geraldine Conway says...

      lol My son hated wiping his butt, and used to declare I can’t wipe what I can’t see! He’s 17 now and has it well figured out by now ;)

  125. Erin says...

    Too funny! I was the youngest of three children and I used to BEG my parents for a younger sibling. I even remember writing it on my Christmas list one year (but it never happened). There were two girls and one boy in my family, so even though I may have preferred a baby sister, I remember saying that I wanted a baby brother because I thought it seemed more fair. For some reason I felt like if I took into consideration what was “fair” I was more likely to get what I wanted. Hah!

  126. Lauren E. says...

    I will never, ever get tired of reading these. Thank you for sharing! I have a chuckle especially whenever you mention Toby’s wife and kids. Priceless.

  127. Maggie says...

    My eldest at 7 caught my husband and I kissing/hugging in our bedroom (very PC – swear!) and he ran from the room screaming to his younger brother “Ewwww, Auggie, Mimi and Daddy are SEXING!” Its become a family joke and even funnier in private moments between my husband and I.

  128. Sara says...

    I’m so glad to hear another 3 year old is obsessed with being “cool.” My 3 year old will put on sunglasses and bop her head up and down while singing, “oh yeah, I’m a cool girl! A cool girl!” (I have no idea where she picked this up, and it is so awkward!)
    Some of her latest: “If I had skates shaped like a pizza I could probably skate better.”
    3yo: “Mom, I really want you to buy me that game.”
    Me: “It says ages 6-8. You probably have to be able to read to play it.”
    3yo: “I CAN READ!!”
    Me: “Oh yeah?”
    3yo: “Well, sometimes I can read. If it’s a card that says Happy Birthday, I can read that.”
    And my favourite, as we were driving through Tim Horton’s drive-thru:
    3yo: “That Horton’s lady waved at me out the window!”
    Me: “That was nice, did you wave back?”
    3yo: “No. I only wave if they gave me a donut.”

    • Jay says...

      ‘I only wave if they gave me a donut’ – made me LOL -brilliant :)

  129. Steph says...

    Hahaha, so funny even the teachers are in the loop about the third baby. Maybe he will convince you after all?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you!!!

  130. Jill says...

    My son once asked why we can’t be “tired out” like grandma and grandpa. Retired. Lol.

  131. Taylor says...

    Oh man, the call from the e-mails from the teachers.

    When I was in kindergarten I got it into my head that my mom worked at K-Mart because she loved shopping there with me, so I told my teacher that my mom worked at K-Mart! Come holiday time my mom starts wondering why she hasn’t been getting any calls about holiday parties or parent involvement and my teacher tells her “well I know how busy the store gets this time of year and I didn’t want to burden you!” My mom goes, “what store?” and my teacher says, “well, K-Mart…Taylor loves talking about how her mom works at K-Mart!”

    • Karen says...

      This is GOLD!!

  132. Jill says...

    My four year old recent said “when people get old they go to prison or a cemetery”–we’re still trying to figure out the first part:) My favorite thing she ever said was when she was two and and turned to my husband and said “other mommy, I need a snack.” other mommy…the best!!!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      other mommy!!!!! hahaha, these are priceless.

    • Sharon says...

      My 3 year old does this! When he was a wee one my mom and MIL split childcare duties while I worked, and he calls each of them mommy when they’re together, though he knows their “official” names. And when we’re together, he gets so adorably confused! My mom, who’s Korean, goes by the name “Halmoni” because that’s “grandma” in Korean. He was trying to tell us something in a great hurry and called her, “Halmommy”. I love this because it’s like he has three mommies to love him three times as much as one!

    • bahahahahahahaha this is hilarious!!

  133. Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud more than once. So cute! We have a paper taped on the inside of our kitchen cupboard where we can quickly jot down funny quotes from our kids, since we’d otherwise forget. We already have at least five full pages! They still crack me up and are so precious.

    • Robin says...

      Such s great idea! I have a three year old and a fourth month old. My three year old is full of sweet ideas but I mostly forget to write them down. This would be perfect!

  134. Karen says...

    “I need someone ALIVE” is literally what my sad, single self says before bed. LOLOL. GREAT POST!!

    • Carrie says...

      hahahaha get yourself a kitty while you wait for your someone alive! :)

  135. Cynthia says...

    These are great! I love that you’re keeping track of these gems. Just this morning we were listening to my son’s (9) latest anthem-of-choice, and my 5yo listened with a worried look on her face. Then she said, “I think if the person has the eye of the tiger, the tiger must have the eye of the person,” like she’d solved it. :)

  136. SJ says...

    Anton is absolutely the cutest! From what Ive read of him, he seems quiet, but with a twinkle in his eye.. you know there is more inside there haha!

    Last night my almost-6-yo was watching a documentary on T-Rex and later told me “they said T-Rex was an apex predator and that he wasn’t scared of anything. Actually, he *was* scared of something – the meteor!” LOL!

    I’d love it if you have a 3rd :-)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha that’s actually a very astute comment!

  137. shannon says...

    OMG I can’t believe Toby told his teachers he has a little sister coming!! Ahahahahaaaa

    But seriously, these posts always make me look forward to being a mom someday.

  138. Lily says...

    I took my four year old to the zoo this weekend. We went to look at the hibernating bears, and for some reason, there was an old evergreen tree in their den. My daughter excitedly pointed to it and said, “Look! A Christmas tree! Well…I guess those bears aren’t Jewish.”

    • Ashley says...

      I snorted! Hahahaha

  139. Omg! Someone needs to create a banana throwing camp asap, if they haven’t already. I love seeing how playful & wild his imagination is. I saw a piece on the news recently (maybe Sunday Morning?) on kids’ imaginations and how kids are able to think outside of the box because they can operate without logic at that age. Although logic helps us in so many ways, it also limits our creativity & ability to think of things like fun coffee, banana throwing camps, and imaginary wives.

    http://hyggewellness.com/blog

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that is so fascinating, sam!

  140. Kritika says...

    I LOVE this post! I’ve been writing down some of the treasures my 3 year old son has been saying lately, and I cannot get over how hilarious they are. These are some great memories!

  141. Sofia says...

    These are my FAVORITE posts! More please!

  142. Amy says...

    Hilarious! My little said to me as we were driving home at dusk one evening recently, “look! fireflies! Nope. Just a bunny.”

  143. Oh man, I love these posts. I have a three year old and a five year old and they do say the most adorable things. My five year old has been talking a lot about how leaders need to be “cool”. You can’t be the leader if you’re not cool! We have tried to emphasize you also have to be kind as well but he didn’t seem to register that LOL

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg “cool” is a BIG deal to kids, hahaha!

  144. Sarah Kang says...

    Anton is my spirit animal. I want that tee in an adult size!