Have a Beautiful Weekend.

What are your plans this weekend? I’m flying to San Francisco to be with my sister. Thank you so much for your lovely words yesterday. If you haven’t already, I invite and encourage you to read this essay, which Paul wrote a few months ago. Thank you again for your comments and humanity.

For anyone who needs a pick-me-up, here are a few links from around the web…

This is what happens when you give up your phone for a week.

Five dinners you can make from pantry staples.

What do you think of this spring trend? I’m loving it.

A year without makeup.

If you’re scared of heights, don’t look.

The difference between British and American English.

Exhaustion is not a status symbol.

My favorite DIY beauty treatments.

To make you smile.

Lots of love, now and always. xoxo

(Photo by Kira Corbin. Exhaustion link via Chasing Saturdays)

  1. These sites are simply superb

  2. HAHAHA the article about no makeup cracked me up! I can totally relate, as sometimes I go without mascara and feel WEIRD being out in public like that (unless is grocery shopping or the like.)

  3. dc says...

    So very sorry for the lose of this dear man to his family, how devistating. Your sister and niece will need the comfort of family for a long time, I’m glad they have all of you.

    The essay and video are an amazing legacy.

  4. What?! Flare pants are back? I have a pair of dark khaki denim that hang in my closet (I can’t bear to part with them). Totally pulling them out this week!

  5. Hi Jo,

    I have never commented on a blog post before (yours or any of the ones I follow) but I felt compelled to reach out this time around and give you a virtual hug and to extend my heartfelt condolences to you, your family, and Paul’s family. I read Paul’s obituary some days ago when some med school friends posted it online. I, along with my friends, have never been so moved by someone I’ve never met before until I read his essay and the tributes dedicated to him. It seemed like he led such a beautiful life. I had no idea he was your brother-in-law until today and somehow I feel even more connected and moved. I know it sounds nuts but that’s that. Cheers to his life and I wish you all the strength and peace.

  6. gail, thank you so much! we found it tonight and watched it. thank you for letting us know!

  7. meghan, what a sweet comment, thank you so much. and thank you for all these comments, they mean so much to us right now. xo

  8. I am so sorry and sad for your loss and will be praying for your family. My husband’s friend passed away last week leaving behind his 9 month old daughter and wife… my husband had quoted Paul’s sentiments to his daughter for his friend’s daughter (so very beautifully written)..I am not sure how he came across it but I did not make the connection that he was part of your family until I saw your post later. My deepest condolences…he sounds like a great man who made an impact on the world, including mine…

  9. Terribly sorry for your family’s loss. I hope you find comfort with your sister and family. Your brother-in-law’s essay is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

  10. I am so sorry for your loss!!! A Portuguese word from a portuguese fan! I love your blog!

  11. Perhaps it is because my husband is in medical school, or maybe because we just had our first baby, but his essay really touched me. Time. It is such a fragile gift that we so often forget we are blessed with.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was an extraordinary man and will be greatly missed.


  12. Joanna,

    As a longtime reader of your blog, I’ve so enjoyed your many funny and witty posts about adventures with Lucy and Paul over the years. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your family or the achingly perfect words that Paul wrote in his essays. I am in awe of the life he lived and the courage he showed in facing death. My husband and I welcomed our first daughter, who happens to be named Lucy, the same week that Cady was born. My heart is broken for your sister. Please know that so many people are praying for her. Wishing you light in the darkness.


  13. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending Love and Strength to you and yours.

  14. I just read his essay and watched his video… My deepest sympathy to your sister. God, things can be so difficult to understand. My heart goes out to your family.

  15. I just read the news about Paul via a story in LinkedIn. I’m so sorry. What a loss–for everyone. I also saw the photo of your niece. It’s great he had a chance to experience that and brave of your sister.

  16. I’m so sad to hear about your brother-in-law’s death. I’ve been thinking in particular of sweet Toby – so sad that he has lost two uncles in only a few months. It must be so confusing for him! May I recommend a book on how to help kids through grief? It is called Healing the Hurt, Restoring the Hope, by Suzy Yell Marta. It addresses how to help all ages through death, divorce, or other crisis. We’ve been thankful for its guidance in the past and I hope it can help you guys, too. Blessings to you across the miles.

  17. Peace & strength to you and your sister. Hug your niece a little tighter! xx

  18. Terribly sorry for you loss. I am tremendously moved and inspired by what Paul wrote in Stanford Medicine:

    “…a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now…”

    Much love and sorrow this weekend. Thank you for sharing. (also, the link about the cell phones was very timely. mindfully engaging in person is far superior to technology interaction!)

  19. Sending love to all whose hearts he touched. Xox

  20. Thank you for sharing that beautiful and moving essay. My heart is with you and your sister. Enjoy your time together! You are such a generous soul.

  21. What terribly sad news. I’m so sorry for you and your family. Paul’s comments about his daughter (reproduced in his obituary) were deeply moving and I hope will bring her some comfort in the future. Sending love and light from New Zealand.

  22. A friend who lost her husband wrote on fb – “Every woman needs a friend who walks with her through the darkest night and loves her child like her own.” Godspeed, Joanna. Please take from our strength and love. XOXO

  23. My thoughts are with you and your family. What a remarkable man–he will truly be missed.
    On a happier note, I’ll have to check out that book on British vs. American English! Sounds so interesting. =)

    Mandy |

  24. I send you a huge huge huge hug…

  25. I live three hours north of San Francisco. ABC television had a moving tribute to him (and his wife and beautiful baby) on the six o’clock news tonight. Such a terrible loss to his wife, his family, his profession, the world.

  26. Joanna, what a terrible year for your family, my goodness, All my love to you and your sister.

  27. And now I have to say how sorry I was to hear your news, my heart goes out to your whole family.

    Please forgive my comments about going without a phone, they now seem very out of place


  28. Have you seen “Sleeping with Siri”? It’s very powerful and the people who made the documentary are taking the idea to schools and getting the kids t goo three days without electronic devices to see how they get on! Fascinating results!

  29. Thoughts and love, to you and yours.

  30. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’m a hospital pharmacist and the other day my colleague recommended a read in the NY Times written by a talented writer/neurosurgeon. Little did I know that it was your brother-in-law.

  31. What an incredibly moving essay. Paul’s words are a gift to those of us not fighting terminal illness, who may need a reminder to stay present, to be grateful, and to cherish the time with our own daughters. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. Wishing you peace and comfort during this difficult time.

  32. N says...

    I have not stopped thinking of Paul and the profundity of this enormous loss. Although I didn’t know him, I think the world has lost a remarkable soul. Holding Lucy and Cady close to my heart. xo

  33. N says...

    Still deeply saddened and heavy hearted for the loss of Paul. I can’t stop thinking about him and the profundity of such a loss.

  34. So sorry for your family’s loss. I just read through Paul’s essayls, and they are so beautiful and smart. They really spoke to me. What a powerful human!

  35. I don’t usually post on the blog either since I read it using Bloglovin’ and for some reason comments become difficult/impossible. Anyway, I am profoundly moved by all that you and your family has been through lately. Honestly, it’s overwhelming. Not only your hub’s brother, but now your sister’s husband too? The emotional pain has to be excruciating. I hope in the coming months you and your family can come to grips with all this. Hugs to you!

  36. I am sorry for your loss. All day I kept thinking of Paul telling his daughter how happy she made him and how, as parents, we should help our kids know that every day.

  37. Sweet Joanna, I don’t usually post on your blog because I know you already get a million comments on every post! But even if you don’t get to all of these comments, I still wanted to take a moment to tell you that your brother in law’s journey has been awe-inspiring, heartfelt, and such an important reminder of how to live a life with intention. Your entire family is in my heart and thoughts. I hope peace flows over you all at this time and that you can feel his sweet spirit with you now and always. xoxo

  38. mara, i’m sure that would have meant a lot to paul. thank you so much.

  39. jos, thank you so much for your kind words, and it is reassuring to hear about your experience. xo

  40. Hola Jo…

    I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve been away this week cause we have lost two beloved persons, too. One on Monday night and one this past night. Both had cancer and both were young. And now, after one week without reading your blog, I enter here just to find out that Paul passed away. I’m really sad, and knowing about Alex loosing his brother just three months ago just makes this even more sad. Usually I’m a really optimistic person but this week I’m not anymore. I feel a little closer to you now, knowing your pain and feeling mine. I send all my love and light to your sister and you and your family and Paul’s family. Big hugs from Barcelona.

  41. My heart aches for you and your lovely family, Joanna. While the vast majority of the A Cup of Jo community has never met you, we all feel like we know you personally, which is a true testament to the quality of your blog. If I lived in NYC, I’d deliver a pan of gooey brownies to your door. Due to the fact that I live in Australia, please accept a virtual tray of brownies for you to share with Alex, Toby, Anton and Lucy. Xxx

  42. Lots of love and thoughts with you and your family. So very sorry for your loss. Paul sounded like an amazing person and I am grateful to know his story. XOXO.

  43. I’m so sorry for your loss. I read “Before I Go” this morning on the train and was so moved.

  44. Dearest Joanna, I am so sorry to hear of your recent losses. There are no words to convey the depth of sadness that is surely present in your familiy’s lives. But please, know that you have touched so many lives with your daily delights and we send our best thoughts of love, strength and support your way. How incredible it is to feel so strongly about people we only know through words and photos. It gives me hope. Hugs to you

  45. So very sorry for your family’s loss.

  46. I am deeply sorry for your loss and your sister’s loss. I am in my 30s and lost my husband 2 years ago. It is a place where no one would ever want to be. But we find strength and kindness in humanity and go on for our children, and eventually for ourselves too. May your sister be embraced with great love all around her as she grieves her immense loss.

  47. My dear Joanna, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please accept a very big hug for you and Lucy and your family. I’m so shocked right now.
    lots of love for you from Europe

  48. Sending positive thoughts and love your way during this horrible time.

    I also wanted to share that last night while scrolling through social media, many of my friends and acquaintances were sharing Paul’s NYT and Stanford Medicine essays with heartfelt tributes to him and his work.

    I hope during this difficult time it will be comforting to know that his heart, mind and words made an impact on perfect strangers.

    Wishing you and your family the best.

  49. My heart is heavy. Such a loss. Wishing you and your family peace and strength.

  50. Joanna, please don’t worry about the blog while you’re away <3 Sending my love to you and your family.

  51. @F, i am tearing up reading that poem. it is so beautiful. thank you so much for sharing it here.

  52. Joanna, I am a long-time reader and I wanted to pass along my condolences to you and your family and to say how sorry I am for your loss. I teach a class on social, cultural, and ethical issues in medicine to first year medical students and I have assigned Paul’s essay for our next class. Big hugs to you and your sister. x

  53. Bless you Joanna. You have such a big heart. Sending you all love and strength. I’ll be thinking of you all and sending you love. There are many of us doing the same. hopefully it helps to know there really is love all around you x

  54. So sorry for your loss :( Thank you for sharing and being so open. Thank you as well for the encouraging links. All my best to you and your family.

    Circus & Bloom

  55. I am so, so sorry for your loss and will keep your family, especially your sister and her daughter in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs.

  56. LK says...

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your post yesterday broke my heart. Your BIL sounds like a tremendous human being. I hope your sister and family have peace and be surrounded by love and comfort.

  57. so sorry again, jo. hope you manage to smile with your sister and baby niece this weekend, and give her all the hugs she needs in this horrible time.
    big hug*

  58. I’m so glad you’ll be with your sister during this difficult time. Sending lots of love to your whole family. Xo

  59. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family… what a tough year. I read this poem in a Martha Stewart after her sister passed away, and it’s always stuck:
    To the living, I am gone.
    To the sorrowful, I will never return.
    To the angry, I was cheated,
    But to the happy, I am at peace,
    And to the faithful, I have never left.
    I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
    So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea – remember me.
    As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty – remember me.
    As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity – remember me.
    Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, your memories of the times we loved,
    the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed.
    For if you always think of me, I will never be gone.

  60. What a tremendous loss for your family and for everyone who knew him. Having the gift and skill to be both a doctor and a writer, a real thinker, seems like such a rare, extraordinary thing. Wishing all strength and peace to you and your sister and her beautiful kid–glad you will be together this weekend.