Have a Happy (Halloween) Weekend!

Boo! Are you dressing up for Halloween tonight? Toby will be a racecar driver and Anton will be a puppy. I’m so excited for trick-or-treating! I’ve also been reading this new book and dog-earing every page. Hope you have a delicious night (with lots of mini Snickers), and here are a few fun posts from around the web…

The Halloween candy exchange rate.

A good argument for taking a phone break.

Clever bike rack.

Unnecessary “quotation” marks.

Would you be friends with your mom if you were the same age?

5am flowers.

10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman. (Plus two quotes worth reading.)

And why catcalling is not okay.

How lovely is this California house?

Things not to say to a pregnant woman.

What beautiful wooden bowls.

Would you try a salad candle?

Made me laugh out loud.

Movies and their food pairings.

Plus, three posts you may have missed:
* Bringing your child’s favorite book to life.
* Real actors read Yelp reviews.
* How to do a braided crown.

(Photo by Karen Mordechai on instagram)

  1. I am so sick of catcalling. You think it’s something that you just get used to, but then after getting followed, pinched (yes pinched on my waist) and having men yelling vulgar things and running away
    (Because my nipples were showing through my sports bra and t-shirt ). Get over it, they’re nipples, you have them too. And I hardly think wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants is asking for trouble, or anything that you wear, really.

    It’s enough. It’s not a compliment, it’s an aggressive demonstration of power. Oh I get so mad thinking about it, especially the ones who just run away after they harass you. a couple times I’ve mustered the courage to yell f*ck you, but generally I feel helpless.

    And on a related note, I’ve met some really helpful strangers, but I’ve come in contact with some really indifferent bystanders as well, both civilians and police officers. We really need to care more about one another beyond our family and friends.

  2. I love your taste in books. Please start a book club!!

  3. We just had a movie/food-pairing night on Saturday! We watched Napoleon Dynamite and ate quesadillas. Not quite as classy as the suggestions on the site, but we had a great time, and shared the distress over the fact that our decade-younger friends had often never heard of it.

  4. I can’t wait to start reading Yes, Please!

    As for the walking video, I think it’s amazing and as a Hispanic woman I do not think it’s an unfair representation at all because some stereotypes are created for a reason and this depicts the reality. It’s not staged. But I feel the clip is not meant to have us focus on the men, it’s meant to make us realize what woman still go through.

    When I was pregnant and out to lunch with my husband, I was facing 3 men eating lunch and my husband had his back to them. Well the whole time one of them was trying to flirt and smile–in an attempt to get me to smile. Like he thought it was a joke. It felt gross and so disrespectful. I didn’t say anything to my husband right away because I didn’t want him to react, but he could tell I was uncomfortable so we ate as quick as possible and left. I remember feeling stared at as I got up and walked out with my husband. It felt dirty and on top of the preggo emtions–it was just wrong!

  5. I found that 10-hour walk interesting, but really mild compared to the film made by Sophie Peeters, a Belgian film-directing student who, for her end of year school project wore a hidden camera and recorded what happened every time she walked alone in her neighborhood. It’s terrifying, she gets insulted, people ask her to go to a hotel etc… It’s in French, with the Belgian accent, it was made a couple of years ago, and it just shows how badly women are treated today. Worth watching especially if you understand French.

  6. As ACP stated, please take the catcalling video with a grain of salt. While it shows the uncalled for attention women receive when moving about their lives, there is a real racial bias that this video perpetuates by showing primarily black and latino men. When commentators brought this to attention, the marketing agency Rob Bliss stated, “We got a fair amount of white guys, but for whatever reason, a lot of what they said was in passing, or off camera,” or was ruined by a siren or other noise. The final product, he writes, “is not a perfect representation of everything that happened.”

    So this is the tight rope that women of color have to navigate with feminism. We want and do support our fellow sisters, but we also still see and face the imbalance of representation with people of color.

    I agree that the Jessica Williams segment addressed the issue in a funny but poignant way.

  7. I’m with Laure E. The candy exchange was very good.

    By the way, I really enjoyed your post about Kings of Summer (I recently saw the film).

    I really like your blog, keep up the good work!

  8. Haha I love the unofficial Halloween candy exchange rate!! Reese’s Pieces and York Peppermint Patties beat everything! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

  9. great links as always! the pie looks so good im hungry!!! yes cat calling is horrible and you know I get it regardless of what I wear do or not say. But I know how to counter it and ignore it. Theres a difference between hi and other things. Have a great weekend and hope the boys had a great and safe night.

  10. I’ve lived in NYC over a year and now I feel like counting all the incidents of cat calls and harassment. Sadly one of those incidents was at work, from a superior, and it still bothers me to this day.

    He eventually apologized but I was mortified and find it really hard to have any respect for him or any of the people in HR that I told and were to put it fairly, indifferent.

    I love this blog, where we can see, think and discuss things as far ranging as Halloween trick or treating to feminism in 2014.

  11. Danielle Delph, the art director who put herself in her mother’s photos, was my roommate in grad school. Amazing and creative mind, she is such a wonderful person, glad to see her work getting attention.

  12. the clapping implies that its a womans job to please that guy. that we have done our duty and entertained him. its so so gross and BS. the women guffawing isnt helping either.

  13. My sister gave me the Arugula candle for my birthday a few years ago. It’s lovely!

  14. I am dressing up as Ursula from The Little Mermaid tonight. I CANNOT WAIT. I spent most of yesterday making tentacles and everything.

    Re: Would you be friends with your mom if you were the same age — I totally would. My mom is one of my best friends now and we totally relate (plant obsession, being a sewing nerd, being 80 before we are actually 80, etc.). I wish I had that kind of relationship with my sister, but maybe that will happen later.

    How about you?

  15. erin, agreed. i remember one evening in my twenties (when i was walking to teach a LSAT class), this guy on the street said, “why aren’t you smiling? give me a smile.” and i didn’t give him a smile because it felt weird and then i thought i must be a negative person because why wouldn’t i just smile at a stranger? i remember wrestling with that while i was walking to work. so, years later, it’s interesting to hear this conversation; and hear these points of view intellectualizing what my gut had been telling me that night.

  16. annie, it’s so different from what i had expected—it’s so much more intimate. i am really enjoying it!

  17. I just started reading Yes Please this morning on the train! I already lol’ed a few times. I’m excited to go home and read it tonight too!

  18. thanks, ACP! i had linked to a gif version of jessica’s clip, but it’s nice to see the full thing!

    also this quote by alex alvarez helps explain why even “nice” catcalls are not okay. thought you might appreciate it!


    To anchor this more concretely, consider the behavior of the men in the video. Take a look at how they seek the woman out to wish her a good morning, despite her not having made eye contact or shown any interest in talking to them. Take a look at how they’re not wishing a good morning to any other person, particularly male people, also walking around. The woman is walking directly behind the man filming her (the camera is hidden in his backpack), and not one of the men shown in the video are seen to be greeting him and wishing him a good day. Just her.

    Why is this?

    It’s because they don’t care, really whether she has a good day or not. What they care about is letting her know that they have noticed her — her hair, her face, her body, her outfit. They want her to notice that they’ve noticed, and they want her to notice them, however fleetingly.

  19. OMG, The Onion article about plate space. I’m dying! Seriously…tears rolling down my face. Hilarious!!

  20. Happy Halloween, I love that California family home. I really want to live there.

  21. I saw that catcalling video on Kottke earlier and I completely agree with the fact that “have a nice day” doesn’t always mean “have a nice day”. Sometimes it’s simply an attempt to get noticed. I feel like we’re always teaching kids that it’s not necessarily WHAT you say but HOW you say it. For some reason a lot of adults, at least in the comments on that video, can’t seem to understand that.

  22. LOVE the candy exchange rate. So funny. Reminds me of being a kid when one year my grandma (who LOVED sweets) looked at my haul and said, “Ooooh can I have a piece?” And I watched with bated breath and she chose my ONE Watchamacallit bar which, to me, was worth all the rest of it combined. I was devastated.