Did You Have Sex on Your Wedding Night?

Couples are expected to have wild sex on their wedding night, but I’ve always been curious about how many people these days actually do. After such a big day, you’re just too exhausted! And that’s what the honeymoon is for, right? (In our case, Alex and I ate a giant burger on the hotel bed while I took bobby pins out of my hair for like an hour.) But maybe I’m TOTALLY wrong and everyone’s out there having sexy sexytimes? To test it out, I asked nine friends to share their funny wedding-night stories…

“We got into our New York hotel around 3am, and I sent Michael down to the deli across the street to get me a cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel because I was STARVING. He found about twenty of our friends in the hotel lobby and brought them all up to our room for a party. As he opened the door I called out ‘You better be alone!’ (because I KNOW THAT MAN) and he called back ‘Of course!’ I later heard there was a lot of frantic ‘abort mission! abort mission!’ hand gestures and miming as everyone ran for the elevators…” —Stacey

“I was sober and looking forward to drinking Champagne, chatting and maybe having sex. Then I turned ’round and in the last five minutes of the party my husband was so smashed he couldn’t walk! So when I suggested Champagne, he suggested coffee, walked into the bedpost and passed out snoring, and I took out bobby pins in a fury!” —Anne

“We didn’t plan on having sex (we’d heard horror stories of wedding night sex gone wrong). We even talked about how tired we were going to be, etc etc etc, and that we weren’t putting any pressure on the night (since we’d been living with each other and having sex for years). But, as it turned out, we ended up having epic, hot, mad-for-each-other sex. Maybe because it was the first time we’d been together in days, maybe because we hadn’t put any pressure on each other, who knows! I remember Ryan taking off my dress which had all these little buttons in the back and both of us going crazy having to wait. I remember feeling and thinking that sex as married people was going to be awesome. And, you know, it really has been. Afterwards, I took all the pins and flowers out of my hair (I couldn’t sleep with them LOL), and I sat down while Ryan slept and made a whole list of my memories from that day, a list I still have in a box someplace.” —Amy

“A savvy friend tipped me off, and we actually stayed in a hotel the night before our wedding so we could, um, pre-party. It’s a calculated move, which some might see as unromantic, but it was nice to have a stolen interlude to ourselves. And also nice for both of us to be freed up just to collapse happily into bed together after the biggest party of our lives.” —Olivia

“We were determined to do the deed on our wedding night. But as social butterflies we also didn’t want to miss the after party with all our friends. By the time we were finally in bed it was 5am. I managed to slip into a negligee, but I honestly can barely remember the actual moment. We were in a complete daze! That morning we left for Italy and I’ve never been so tired. We forgot to check our flight time and we ended up barely making it to the airport. My husband told the flight crew we were newlyweds and they had the whole plane give us a round of applause…little did they know, we really deserved it!” —Beth

“The first piece is that I did not want to take off my wedding dress. As in, DID NOT. But I bribed myself with some badass black lingerie. However, watching me work through my emotional dress-removal process required my new husband’s last piece of semi-conscious energy and so by the time I’d taken the leap, he was gone. As in passed out. On top of the covers. In his tux. At this point I thought, meh, and happily dove head-first into the mini-bar snacks.” —Melissa

“Our wedding after party involved In-N-Out burgers and booze until 4am, so sex was the last thing on my mind. But I was determined to do it, just so we could say we had! We cleared the rose petals off the bed and ate wedding cake on top of the covers…and then, with eyes practically closed and much less verve than a normal Sunday make-out session, we actually made it happen! Although the sex was mediocre, I’m still really happy that I can say we consummated the marriage on the actual wedding night. I’ve bragged about it many times, and I always give brides the advice that “you gotta do it, no matter how little you feel like it in the moment.” (My other piece of bridal advice is to reapply lipstick much more often than you think during the reception.)” —Louisa

“When we got up to our hotel suite, our only problem was that we couldn’t get my dress off. It had 50 tiny buttons down the back and my husband couldn’t unloop them all with his tired hands. Thankfully one of the gifts we’d opened was a set of knives, and we used them to literally cut my dress off.” —Ginny

“We got married at my husband’s family’s house, but the night before the wedding, I stayed at a nearby hotel so I could get ready there and show up all bride-y and stunning—I figured my soon-to-be husband didn’t need to see me blow-drying my hair and curling my eyelashes. We had a great wedding and people had a wonderful time and the party went on well into the night. And it wasn’t until I stumbled into our bedroom exhausted that I realized I had forgotten to pack an overnight bag, so I had nothing to sleep in, all my nice beauty products were back at the hotel and I had to wash my wedding makeup off with Dial hand soap. There was a brunch for guests the next morning, so I made my new husband go to the hotel and get my clothes early the next day—otherwise I’d have been wearing my wedding dress again. It was hilarious—the whole wedding day had gone off without a hitch, but I spent my first night as a wife sleeping in his old high school T-shirt with Vaseline Intensive Care on my face.” —Lauren

What about you? Please share your stories below, I would LOVE to hear… :)

P.S. 15 wedding dos and don’ts.

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  2. I just got married on September 28th! this is my first day back to work :) haha. We had awesome sex after the wedding – I wasn’t nearly as tired as I expected to be. maybe it’s because people kept talking about how exhausted I’d be so I was prepared but I still felt pretty wide awake and maybe kind of “high” from the day.

    I didn’t have a super complicated dress removal – just a zipper and it slid right off and I wore my lingerie underneath all day. It was absolutely perfect :) very romantic sex.

  3. Nope, no sex. Our wedding was small, only 25 people and we had it in this massive house we rented. There were enough rooms for everyone to stay over. The actual wedding day was a fun blur. Laughing, drinking, hugging everyone. At the end the only people still awake were some of my husband’s friends, my sister and us. It was around 4am when they all decided we needed to go to bed and have sex. They led us to our room and went to their own rooms and called it a night. When we were alone we laughed, joked around (someone had snuck into our bathroom and it was sooooo stinky). So after a while we fell asleep. The next day for me was the happiest day of my life. That’s when it all hit me, I was married to him. We woke up, looked at each other in the same excited way and THEN we had sex. That whole day was magical, not because we did anything too special, but because we were both feeling so sublimely happy.

  4. The farthest we went before getting married was some necking. We had a quiet wedding with our family and closest friends in the morning and were in our hotel room by 4pm. I was dead set on taking a nap because I had two hours of sleep the night before, but he would have none of that. A couple rounds later and we realized we were STARVING. We ordered not one but TWO massive burgers from room service and a big plate of heirloom tomatoes. It was incredible.

  5. My husband and I got to our hotel, he helped me get my dress off and the pins out of my hair. We took a shower cause we were FREEZING (winter wedding!), and then we crawled under the covers and fell asleep in about 0.3 seconds. It’s such a long day, but we were just happy to cuddle all night.

  6. We did! We got married in the Virgin Islands with only 6 guests – It was so romantic and not exhausting at all. After our dinner reception under the stars we headed back to our cabin on the beach. To our happy surprise, the resort staff had decorated our room with rose petals and candles. I slipped into the bathroom and put on a cute white outfit with little blue bows. I remember my husband looking at me and telling me how beautiful I looked, what a great feeling to be so vulnerable and in love. I remember it like it was yesterday – my husband and I with the waves crashing in the background and the candle light – what a perfect end to a great day and a great start of our life together.

  7. Like several others, we had waited to have sex until our wedding night. We did the afternoon wedding so we would have plenty of time to ourselves that night.

    I actually had to be sewn into my wedding dress, so we made a plan to run home after the reception and one of my bridesmaids cut me out of it! I put on a simple white dress to wear to the hotel.

    I was really nervous and excited so we took a shower together to relax first. When we did have sex, we were so excited that we gave each other a high 5 during the act! We still laugh about that to this day. Even though we were inexperienced, our first time was wonderfully special and I wouldn’t change a thing! Especially the high 5!

  8. CS says...

    I am not married, but when I think about wedding nights, particularly sex on wedding nights, I’m always reminded of the opening of Jonathan Dee’s (really excellent) novel, The Privileges.

    “So the music stops, and the bar is closed, and the lights are all turned on because the night manager has had all the complaints from upstairs he can take; but there are still twenty or thirty people in and around the ballroom, drunk, tired, euphoric, young, beautiful, sweaty, dressed up and on someone else’s nickel, and determined–as who wouldn’t be?–to remain all those things forever. When the ballroom is locked they take over the lobby, and when they’re chased out of the lobby they take it upstairs to their rooms. Dawn seeps around the drapes. They pass out on one another’s floors, across one another’s beds, refusing to part, sealing their legend.
    At the bed and breakfast eight blocks away Cynthia, in a t-shirt and shorts, is propped up by pillows on the huge four-poster bed, some librarian’s idea of a honeymoon bower; she strokes her husband’s hair as he sleeps with his head in her lap. He didn’t even make it out of his clothes. She’s not disappointed. Sex is no novelty; being exhausted together, being each other’s safe place–that’s what tells you you’ve found what everybody’s always whining about searching for. The air conditioner hums. Tomorrow they will fly to Mexico, and when they fly back to New York Cynthia will be pregnant. When she figures that out, she will wonder again what she is wondering right now: whether it’s true what the priest said–that God gives each of us only what He knows we can handle–because, all her life, things have come at her very fast.”

  9. Our caterers were BRILLIANT enough to send us off with tons of food – which we sat in bed and ate with wedding cake, chatting about the best parts of the day. The officiant forgot to ask us to read personal vows, so we read them to each other and then got busy. ;)

  10. We wanted to, but my husband drank so much I had to knock on my friend’s door so that she could help me undress (and all I had was a zipper and two buttons – that’s how much he drank). When we were “about to”… I went to the bathroom and when I got back to bed he was asleep!!

  11. We partied at a bar with our friends after the reception until 3 or 4 am. And it was an morning wedding so we had been going a long time. We were exhausted and starving! Everything was closed so my hubby went down and scavenged up two bags of the nastiest potato chips ever that we inhaled! We still laugh about how he was my caveman hunting and gathering to provide for his family!! Then we had sex with my wedding dress on and his tux disheveled like four weddings and a funeral. It was so fun, spicy And less exhausting than taking off the dress!! Plus it meant I got to wear my dress just a little bit longer. Maybe we will have to break it out again for our 10-year anniversary!

  12. We waited until we were married, so yes!! It also helped that we got married on one day and had our reception on the next day. We had all afternoon and night to be with each other and it was AMAZING!

  13. We did. we had an afternoon wedding and though I expected to party late, most everyone headed out within a reasonable amount of time, Hubby and I were the last to leave the venue (my parent’s church) and then we stopped by my parents’ place to drop some things off/pick some things up before we headed to the nice hotel some family members had pitched in on (2 towns over). We had trouble checking in because we didn’t have the credit card that was used to make the reservation, but they finally gave us the OK when I was like “it’s our wedding night. this is a wedding present. call them if you need to but give us our effing room key.” It was a lovely room in a historic hotel. we pulled out bobby pins together, had a great shower together in the fancy shower, read all our cards and counted our money ( we were moving out of state in 3 weeks so really appreciated the dough) and eventually got busy.

  14. We waited for our wedding night. Waited is not even the right word because it sounds so passive – we fought hard to resist the act until our wedding night. We were together for 2 years before getting married. The night of our wedding was so sweet and intense. I could never have imagined how vulnerable the act would make me feel. I was so glad to be sharing it with a man whom had just committed his life to me. We trusted each other so much as we fumbled around and tried to figure it all out. It was overwhelmingly sweet and intimate. We have been married for 7 years – and it just keeps getting better ;)

    • I love this, you’re right. It is a fight to resist! Waiting does sound passive.

    • totally; it is fighting! you are right! love it.

    • Lori says...

      Bravo! Those who don’t wait miss SO much. I know that’s not popular, but it is true nonetheless.

  15. We did! But we got had a day wedding, and were probably back at our hotel by like 7 or so after the party ended. I remember thinking that part of the reason I wanted to have a day wedding was to make sure we could have time and energy that night for each other! :)
    One interesting thing I learned though, since we were married by a rabbi, is that traditionally at Jewish weddings the couple gets time alone after the ceremony but before the party, to seal the deal! Our rabbi actually encouraged us to do “it”! I couldn’t bring myself to it, but we did take advantage of those moments alone to take it all in before entering the party. Anyway, like I said.. that night, we had a great time!

  16. Did not! And we even had a morning wedding + told everyone we were heading out for a night or two at a historic hotel in a nearby town–when in actuality, we left and mosied about town, waited for friends and family to disperse, and then sneaked back to our house for a quiet evening. Despite the lack of late night partying and no drinking (I accidentally got pregnant during our engagement, whoops), we were exhausted!

  17. After hearing from so many friends that they were simply too tired after their weddings (seriously, I don’t think I have any friends who had sex the night of), we made sure to have sex the morning of our wedding day. So once we got to the b&b where we were spending the night, we were able to just focus on excitedly recounting the details of the day while drinking bourbon from a flask, soaking in the hot tub, saying “husband” and “wife” a lot, removing those bobby pins, etc. Then we hung out in bed looking at all the pics from our friends, and fell asleep for a bit. At some point, we woke up and had sweet, steamy, super special sex. I think the key was taking the pressure off—knowing that it wasn’t required and that we’d already had “wedding day sex.”

  18. My husband and I lived together for 3 years before getting married, so we were no virgins… We had our wedding in Romania, where weddings are usually celebrated with an over-night party at which the bride and groom are the last people standing, so sex was definitely not something we planned. We did consider running off somewhere for a quickie during the reception, but we couldn’t find a good moment and were busy dancing along…. At 7 in the morning as we got into our hotel room, i urged him to rip off my dress as fast as possible only so I could go pee (didn’t pee not even once throughout the night), then we took a shower, laid on the bed on opposite sides and started massaging each others feet. Best.Feeling.Ever! No sex could have been as good as the massage we gave each other after standing on our feet for almost 24 hours! :) I was also surprise to see how many people still keep the tradition of marrying as virgins (is it a tradition?). Good for you! :)

  19. We were both virgins (didn’t actually kiss each other til our wedding day). We made the mistake of planning our honeymoon in Vermont after our wedding in Maine. We figured if we left the wedding by 4, we’d be good to go and make it to our destination by an early 9 pm. Of course we had no idea how tired and hungry we’d be after our wedding (does anyone actually have time to eat at their wedding?). We drove the whole way (stealing kisses along the roadway!) and by the time we checked in we were weak and starving. We found a great little restaurant and ate ravenously then back to the hotel. I was so tired and overwhelmed I ended up throwing up, so we spent the night cuddling and we fell asleep, thankful for a whole lifetime to have lots of sex, even if it didn’t start that night.

  20. my husband and i were both virgins and when it came time for wedding night sex, it didn’t happen! we tried again the next morning but it still didn’t happen! then we went on our honeymoon and the next night we had our first round of sex. and then we couldn’t stop! (I’ve never told anyone this)

  21. gc says...

    cutest comments ever! after being engaged for 5 years (and having a 3 year old love child), these comments totally make me want to tie the knot!

  22. We had an outdoor wedding at our vineyard and had a little camper parked there so that we could spend the night. We had a huge bonfire so lots of people stayed and partied with us around the fire. I went to sleep in the camper around 3am but my husband stayed up all night with his friends by the fire. Though he snuck back for a bit and so we did do the deed. It was really sweet and romantic to be in the vineyard in that little camper but also I was exhausted.

  23. We were young (21 and 23) and virgins so we were pretty damn excited to DTD. Thankfully friends equipped us with snacks and after an hour of eating, drinking champagne and pulling out hair pins I was ready to slip into something a bit sexier. My husband was in high anticipation and I thought it would be funny to play a joke on him. So instead of putting on my lingerie I got dresses in one of those huge one-piece indies with feet (like they put on children). My mom and I had found an adult sized one a few months earlier and I just couldn’t help myself. We had a really good laugh when I finally emerged from the bathroom. And then got down to business. We had been waiting years for this after all!

  24. We were both virgins when we got married, so we were beyond ready to jump each other’s bones. After our wedding ceremony, we snuck off before our reception and had some playful sexytime, which just made the anticipation to be together even more exciting. Our reception was over at 1 am and once we got to our hotel room, we were both exhausted, but that didn’t last long once I slipped into a fun little number. We did the deed and my husband was so sweet and gentle, but it was just what I expected it to be, painful. Luckily, we had the rest of our honeymoon to practice and that was amazing.

  25. Both times! Tired but fun.

  26. We were soooo tired from being up since 6 am for prepping and the party still going on at 2 am that we both passed out, fully dressed on the bed. I woke up at about 5 am do to the sequins on my dress digging at my skin and the thousand bobby pins hurting my head :P Since we had out of town guests and our honeymoon was still a week away… we “consumed” the marriage 5 days after the actual wedding, and that was the day my baby was made :) So march 2014 will bring us the best wedding gift ever!

  27. This is great! I’m getting married tomorrow (!!) and I wonder what we will do…we are actually camping out with all the guests after the marriage because it’s in a field on my parent’s farm!

  28. Love this post, and it’s a topic I have always wondered about!

    We got married at my family home, and the party (and a very tired DJ – it was a 2pm ceremony!) went until 3:30am…we had said that no matter what happened, no matter how late the party went and how drunk we were, we HAD to have sex that night, so I was totally prepared for it to be half-asleep and bumbling, but surprisingly, we we both totally hopped up on adrenaline! I put on my new gorgeous lingerie while my husband took a hot shower, and we had by far the most amazing sex we have ever had in our 4 years together. I think the sweetest thing about it was that my husband was SO excited to be married and to be with “his wife.” I think at the end of the day, no matter what you do – sex or no sex – that part of the evening is going to be so special and memorable, there is no need to put pressure on yourselves to do it or not. Amazing sex or burgers in bed and re-runs of Family Guy, that night is going to be totally “you” and that is what will make it memorable.

  29. Our wedding was during a huge snowstorm, and our reception venue actually closed so i cut my cake in my moms dining room in jeans and a t-shirt. The storm was so bad that on the way to the hotel my in-laws literally had to get out and push the car multiple times. When we got to our suite i jumped in the shower while my husband ordered room service. By the time I was done showering he was asleep on the bed. Needless to say it wasn’t a romantic evening, but we did get to eat some pretty delicious shrimp while watching Seinfeld in our pajamas.

  30. we waited until we got married to have sex, so i was particularly nervous. Plus, it was a NYE wedding so we partied well into the morning! I ended up having the best bath of my life while he helped me get all the pins out of my hair, and then we opened all our cards and threw the money into the air and jumped on the bed. It was so much fun! We waited until we got to our honeymoon the next day to consummate our marriage, but we had a blast eating and laughing and actually sleeping the night of.

  31. I got married at ski resport in the mountains….and had a touch of altitude sickness from the moment we got up there a few days prior (and alot of anxiety). I could barely eat and felt totally off for the days leading to the wedding. Finally at at the actual wedding I was more relaxed and ate my entire dinner! A while later after busting some moves on the dance floor I ended up throwing up! By the time we actually got back to our room I was so excited to get my dress off (so i could actually take a deep breath), and lay down there def no sex happening!

  32. Yup! After the ceremony and reception we came back to our apartment, got in the shower, had sex in there, and then we washed up and relaxed! It was great!

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  34. My husband and I were both so incredibly sick on our wedding night – I had completely lost my voice and had to whisper my vows while it took him an emergency trip to his doctor for meds just to stand up for the ceremony. Needless to say, we both crashed within seconds of everyone leaving. It doesn’t bother me that we didn’t have sex that night, but man it really, really sucks that we were both so ill. We spent most of the night just wishing it were over so we could go lie down. Part of me laughs about it today, but the other part of me is still pretty bummed. I wish we could do a wedding do-over, but the thrill is kind of gone since we’ve already said the vows and got the rings. It was the happiest moment/memory in my life because I got to marry the man I love, but it definitely was not my best “day”. We’re taking our much-belated honeymoon next month, so hopefully we can redeem ourselves and I’m already starting on an intense vitamin-C regimen, just in case…

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  36. I look back at those weeks leading up to my wedding (only 1 month ago) and what an overwhelming time! We had just moved from out of state, 4 kiddos ages 4- 14 starting school, unpacking our new place together, last minute wedding planning – let’s just say I was an emotional MESS leading up to my wedding! My plates were stacked and I was so ready to be married. The day of our wedding was incredible. It was beyond words… my heart is so full just thinking about it. We both wanted to make love on our wedding night but had no idea if we were seeing as we were both so tired from months of so much going on. When we finally got to our hotel room.. we couldn’t wait to peel off our clothes and just take a shower. I think that refreshed us to have the energy to make love. My husband was previously married and lost his former wife in a tragic awful way. I had gone through a decade of destruction in my own life that I’d come through.. So that coming together in this sacred covenant.. our lives beginning new, restored.. when we made love, I cried.. joy. It was such a release.. it was so healing. That cry came from such a deep place.. It was this beautiful mingling of souls that is indescribable. Out of 7 billion people he chooses me and I choose him. No one else gets me in this way. When we both asked each other what our favorite moment was on the honeymoon.. we both said that is was that night in the hotel making love to each other’s souls.

    • Kyle: That’s so beautiful, your tears, redemption in each other, second “chances” — I’m so glad your shared it.

  37. S says...

    I had a cheeseburger AND sex after my wedding last Friday night. I really wasn’t in the mood (for sex; the cheeseburger was spot on), but it was important to my husband that we “consummate” the marriage on our wedding night (nevermind that we’ve been living and sleeping together for over a year). Our amazing officiant had counseled us beforehand that when you’re married, sometimes you have sex even when you don’t feel like it, unless you just can’t, and so I did it for him because I could, to make him happy, to make him feel like the perfect groom that he was. (He returned the favor quickly over the weekend!) We’ve been married for one gorgeous week.

  38. Awww.. all these lovely stories make me so envious! I’ve been married for 7 years now and love my husband to pieces.. BUT our wedding night was pretty much a disaster! We got married fairly early in the day and then planned on going to a nice dinner at the “best place on the island” We unfortunately spent a little too much time on happy hour(s) and the bartender talked my husband into drinking a shot of the local “roots” which I think is some evil voodoo moonshine. Well, we got to dinner.. me a little tipsy and the food was terrible. I am one of those people who won’t eat something if it’s not cooked right so the raw on the inside charcoal briquette on the outside steak was a no-go. Well, my husband got mad that I wasn’t eating the steak.. even though he agreed the food was horrible. So that made me tear up because he was mad at me on our wedding day. THAT made him madder because I was crying on the wedding day. So by the time we got to the hotel room he was yelling at me and I was crying “I never thought you were like this”. Oh.. it was the worst fight we had ever had!

    I always give him hell now that he is the most unromantic guy I know. He asked me to marry him while I was checking my email on my phone in the truck and then he yells at me on our wedding night. But we are still together and very happy for over 7 years and he has never yelled at me like that again.. lol

  39. I absolutely LOVE this post. Thank you to every bride who shared their story! :) My fiance and I are getting married in June and have talked about this night many times- it’s so funny to hear that we won’t be the only ones eating burgers in our fancy outfits at 5am hoping to barely be awake enough to consummate our marriage! Love it!

  40. hahahaha I didn’t like Louisa’s story. Come on! Whyyyy do you haaaave to do it on your weeding’s night? It was funny, though. All of them. ahahah I’m not married yet, but as soon as I get – which will take a few years hahaha – I’ll come and tell the story about our first night.

  41. We are both religious and my husband was a virgin when we got married. We were SO ready to have sex on our wedding night. But I got super sick from the stress of the wedding and by the time we got to the hotel, it was so late and we were so tired. So we just kissed each other good night and said we’d do it the next day at our honeymoon resort. Well the next morning we had an early flight. When we got to the airport, WE SAW HIS ENTIRE FAMILY and of course they all thought we had done the deed. So they were like “Hey there!” “hubba hubba”. It was so embarrassing – especially because WE HADN”T HAD SEX!!! Ugh. Fortunately, we had amazingly awesome sex the next night in Jamaica (sick and all) and then I started my period the next day. Poor guy. Got one taste of sex and then couldn’t have it again for a week. Ha. Nearly 10 years later and married sex life is awesome!

  42. i just tied the knot last weekend. we are not partiers, we were home before midnight. he helped me out of my gown, took the pins out of my hair, watched me condition the tangles out, we showered together and yes. we totally did it. i love being married.

  43. We had a good wedding night. A group of friends surprised us by making our room the most romantic location… candles, flower petals, snacks, champagne…. but we were sooooo tired! We felt obligated, so we had a 10 minute boring encounter then passed out. Aahh…memories.

  44. Before marriage my husband & I lived together for four years. So for 4 months leading up to the wedding, we abstained from sex. It was a long, long, four months but the anticipation overruled our exhaustion on our wedding night. To further ramp it up I made sure to walk around our suite in only my veil and shoes ;) We stayed up all night, showered, & attended our Sunday brunch without a wink of sleep.

  45. We went to a bar after our wedding with our friends and I was exhausted. I actually said “Okay, we need to leave now if we’re going to have sex tonight!” So we went back, ordered Domino’s Pizza (the only thing delivering at almost 3am and we were both starving), had sex, then ate pizza and breadsticks on the hotel bed.

  46. I had the best wedding night. We left our friends at midnight and got to our hotel room where we proceeded to help me out of the gazillion buttons and bobby pins too like everyone else. Then we took a lovely long bath recapping every precious moment of the wedding and comparing notes to make sure we entirely enjoyed our wedding day. We then fell asleep from the chatting and had to get up early the next day for another family christening where we saw the whole family again at the same church we were married at the night before!

  47. Ours was an afternoon wedding so we had plenty of time to go to my parents’ house, change, and check in at a local bed and breakfast. What I hadn’t considered, however, that in rural Vermont the decor would be, um, pretty “cutesy country,” so we had sex under the watchful/creepy eyes of teddy bears and china dolls. The next morning we headed to what would turn out to be much nicer accommodations, but I’m glad we didn’t have to travel the night of our wedding.

    I love reading these! I’m noticing how many of the stories feature the undoing of bobby pins, wedding dress buttons, and makeup–not in a very sexy way, either! I guess that’s something you don’t think about ahead of time when you imagine your wedding night.

  48. What a fun post!
    We have a wedding night baby!

  49. I really enjoyed this post. I’m not married, but know that on her wedding day my best friends new husband was so drunk that she ended up putting him to bed, then just went to sleep! x

  50. I loved this post! It’s something I’ve thought about myself as wel, I’m not married yet but I promise, I will let you know how everything goes for me as well as soon as it happens!

    Love, Saar

  51. First, I love this conversation. So this is our story.. My husband and I drank freely at our wedding and were both drunk by the end of it. With all the mingling and dancing we did not have time to see or talk to each other. So, when the limo came to take us to the airport 2.5 hours away we were grateful. Well we had a bottle of champagne and thought it was going to be romantic. We asked the limo driver to raise the divider and it didn’t raise. Well we got busy any way and the cab driver probably saw my butt. So when I was ready he couldn’t finish. I am assuming we passed out shortly after that because we woke up at the airport to endure the worse flight for 2 drunk people. We finished business later that day at the resort and we will always have this story.

  52. Our wedding was the best party we have ever been to. Everything was perfect. We didn’t end up starving, there was no family drama, and it was a perfect day in a perfect location, We had waited 3 months for our wedding night, so even after an hour and a half drive into SF, and a walk up hill in my wedding dress with my heels on, we were not ready to crash AT ALL. We got up to the room, which was awesome and had a great view of the city, and got to work taking out the million and a half safety pins that were holding the back of my dress together (pre-wedding zipper failure in the dressing room!). We just about unpinned the last little silver pin when we noticed that the windows were open and the flat across the street was having a 4th floor balcony party–and we were getting a lot of wild cheers and hoots. Glad we noticed before the dress came off! Perfect night, and the most delicious, exhausted sleep afterwards.

  53. Gotta add my two cents to this. We were both virgins on our wedding night, and had a 3 hour drive from the place we got married to our hotel (why we did this..I’ll never know). We were having a hard time keeping our hands off of eachother on the drive home, so we decided to pull over in the middle of nowhere. Well, on the exit we took, there was a stalled car completely blocking the road. Turns out there was a lady stranded in there and she needed help pushing her car over to the side until her ride came. I guess it was a little miracle for that lady, but needless to say…it killed the mood. We eventually made it to the hotel and sealed the deal ;)

  54. I’m pretty sure I did (if I remember right), but recently a friend got married and at like 11:30pm I was like “Now you’re gonna go have wild wedding night sex, right?” and she made a face and was like “Ugh, god no! No way!” She was half joking, but I’m pretty sure, especially for those who already live together, having sex after such an exhausting day sounds like the worst thing haha

  55. We actually had three weddings… one was the actual wedding with a Justice of the Peace, the other two were receptions (one in Singapore and another here in the States). We had sex after all three but I don’t recall anything mind-blowing… lots of giggling and silliness though hehe :)

  56. Our wedding was at noon, directly followed by the reception. By 6:30 that evening we couldn’t stand waiting any longer and snuck up to our hotel suite. I was a virgin, and after months of steamy make out sessions, was about to become unglued! We intended to go back to the party afterwards, but three times later it was 2 am and no one was left (they danced til 9:30). We found a diner for some soup and collapsed into bed to be ready for our 7:30 cruise departure. Honeymoon was so much of a new thing that my thighs were sore to the touch! It was awesome.

    • ha!! I love it.

  57. Definitely did it. We had our wedding at a kid’s camp on the lake and brought a tiny camping trailer we had renovated the previous winter. My husband hauled it down to the camp at my insistence with his tractor and parked it on the shore. We filled it with cushions and blankets, had the ceremony beside it and when the sun was coming up we snuck away from the last of the partiers around a bonfire and made our way to our little hideout. We were drunk, tired, the sex was a mess (I think we tipped the camper on it’s end!) but we did it, lost all of the blankets, woke up freezing cold and ran across the camp (full of hopefully sleeping people!) still in our wedding attire and drove the short drive home. I have never been so happy to dive into bed.

  58. We were virgins as well so we were definitely going to make it happen on our wedding night. Things were a bit trickier than we’d anticipated so I don’t know if I really count whatever it was we did before we went to bed. However, we both randomly woke up at 2 or 3am and fully finished what we started earlier. So very glad that it gets better with practice!

  59. I had one friend who was adamant that it happen on my wedding day “to beat the odds” so to speak. Our wedding day was huge and intense and considering we only got to our hotel room after 1am the next day, enough said

  60. Nope! We were the last people on the dance floor, ended up cleaning up as much as possible (while a little tipsy!) after the reception was over, then passing out in our King-sized hotel bed. I forgot to bring pj’s and clothes for the next day so I had to call my mom to lend me yoga pants and a hoodie the next morning rather than checking out of our room in my dress.

  61. We were also virgins when we got married and had sex for the first time on our wedding night!

  62. Oh and my hair extensions were pinned in soooo well that I couldn’t get that rat’s nest out for 2 days.

  63. We were both so hammered after the awesome time we had at our reception that we stumbled into our room and my new husband ripped the buttons off the back of my dress and we ended up arguing. Then we headed downstairs to the (closed) hotel bar and hung around with friends and had a lot of laughs (and all the girls flashed each other. Not sure why we did that.) The honeymoon held much better lovin’ than the wedding night did.

  64. I got my period the MOMENT we arrived at our hotel. Still in the dress. Arrived one week early. Turned into a ‘romantic’ night of walking over to rite aid for tampons and pads, drinking champagne in bed, and eating chocolate.

  65. Weddings are so surprisingly exhausting but we did it on our wedding night. I think I left my bobby pins in though. ;)

  66. My husband and I were married in NYC. After the reception we got back to our suite at the W Hotel around 12am and went to change before meeting friends and family downstairs at the bar for the after party. Changing our clothes turned into a steamy make-out session and quickly into sex. We had heard many the “exhausted no nookie post wedding stories” so I think we surprised even ourselves. But you know what was more surprising? My father knocking on our door wondering if we had seen my mother’s silver flats. Ha! I quickly pushed my husband out of bed like a scared teenager. Oh wait, I’m married, was the after thought. We still bust out laughing when we think about “getting caught”!! :)

  67. I love that you’re all sharing this! So many sweet and funny stories. For our wedding, we rented a huge beautiful house where we got married in the back yard with a killer view, had the reception on the big deck, and most of our family stayed at the house the whole weekend. Needless to stay, the master bedroom where we stayed was next door to various family members. And the strangest thing ever that we didn’t even notice all the times that we looked at the property- there were no window covertings of any kind on any of the huge windows so as not to obstruct said amazing views. So…besides having various cousins, parents, siblings literally next door, I was paranoid that someone would see us from one of the other windows. Plus, we were, as many others mentioned, exhausted. So I took out my bobby pins (seems like a common task), while we took turns reading to eachother the sweet notes in our guest book and wedding cards. It was such a lovely way to end the perfect day. But the next morning while everyone was up at breakfast and we had the downstairs to ourselves, we properly consummated our marriage ;)

  68. We did… But barely! Wedding festivities started on Thursday with parties every night (and a hike to the top of Table Rock Mountain) until the ceremony and reception on Saturday night. We danced until 2 am when all the bourbon was gone! We could barely talk or walk after all that fun! My husband helped me into some lingerie… Then took it all off moments later. The sex was sweet and I’ll always treasure that night. I fell fast asleep, but being the night owl, he dressed and went up for a beer with his groomsmen. Wouldn’t change a thing about that night!

  69. I remember when we got to the hotel we were both grimy from the reception, and awkwardly tried to coordinate separate showers beforehand? “Maybe you should rinse off first and then get back in your suit so I can undress you properly…” Haha. It was weird.
    But we did end up having sex for the first time that night, and now whenever we drive past that hotel, we wave and say, “Hi, virginity!”

    • That’s hilarious. Sounds like something my husband and I would say. :)

  70. Wow, I can’t believe how many Mormans/virgins before marriage are reading this blog!!!! Its like every single comment is we waited and had sex on our wedding night! Its cool that people did that, I’m not trying to judge. I just was surprised that is the majority of the comments/readers had done that!!
    Yes, we did have sex, not a virgin or our first time together. Everyone says you will be too tired to, but we weren’t, it was so fun to be married finally: it was exciting to get to spend the night in a nice hotel with a fireplace, drink champagne and get in a giant tub. Its funny that so many people planned to sex before the wedding so they could just relax when they got to the hotel. That is a lot of planning and so calculated! But whatever works for you!!

    • I think there’s a lot of people who save sex till marriage, not just Mormon’s.

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  72. My husband and I got ready together for the wedding for purely logistical reasons. I thought it was going to make everything less romantic, but it ended up being one of the best parts of the day. We had sex about an hour before getting married! It certainly helped calm the nerves!

    I think being starving after your wedding is a common theme. My mother-in-law warned us about that, so we brought a bunch of food from the reception back to the hotel with us.

  73. I was a virgin on my wedding night, but my husband was not. I was a little nervous about that, but felt so awesome that we had made it to our wedding night with out having sex! It was his way of showing me that he LOVED me, and that I was the one, that he would wait till we were married to have sex. Pretty great that he respects me that much. I do have to say he had seen me naked tons of times before our wedding night and we definitely messed around (haha, we got really creative without having sex)!

    His friends set up our awesome hotel room at the Ace in Portland with tons of flowers and a hot bath with floating candles. We both climbed in the bath and it wasn’t as romantic as we both thought it would be, he was really tall and we barely fit… I wanted to take my time but we had to be up early for our flight (worst mistake). I put on my French wedding night lingerie he had picked out for me, only to have him take it off and we had sex for the first time! It was slow, slightly painful, but perfect. It got really good on the honeymoon (if ya know what i mean), and to this day I have so much trust for him because he valued my beliefs and was willing to honor that.

  74. We had waited for our first time for after the wedding, and even though we had an afternoon wedding and made it to the hotel by about 4pm, we were just EXHAUSTED! I actually took a nap and he watched tv, and when I woke up finally, we had our first time and it was sweet and hilarious, and then went out to a fun dinner just the two of us. I never really thought, before we fell in love, that romance could be mixed with humor too, I always thought romance inevitably meant being serious, but I love that we’re so in love and always laughing! We spent a lot of time laughing that first honeymoon week as we were figuring it all out!
    One funny note though: I had my hair in a gorgeous updo for the wedding, and since it was on a yacht, my hair was seriously secured to deal with all the wind, so I was too tired to deal with all the bobby pins before my nap, or before our first time, and even after all that, it looked AMAZING and exactly the same!! So my husband had to help me remove some of the particularly pretty and bridal bobby pins, and left in the normal plain pins, and I just wore my hair that way to dinner. We must have ended up taking out a hundred bobby pins that night before bed…so hilarious, I think I could lived in that hairstyle indefinitely, it would not have shifted!

  75. Tired. Sweaty from dancing. Blisters on feet. The only thing we wanted to do was SHOWER and SLEEP. Plenty of time for more meaningful, less forced sex post-wedding. ;)

  76. My husband and I were virgins, so having sex was a super exciting yet nerve wracking thing!! I thought I’d be more shy than I actually was. I made sure that I was on top because I had the idea that it would hurt less if I were “in control.” But it still hurt! In fact, it hurt so much that I told him we needed to stop and try again the next day, haha. It might have been around the 3rd or 4th day of our honeymoon that we finally got it down!

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  78. We had our ceremony in the morning, then went home, had a nap, some sweet, yummy post-wedding sex, then went to our reception in the evening. No muss, no fuss, no pressure. It was a perfect plan.

  79. My husband are both Mormon, so we were both virgins, so we most definitely had sex on our wedding night! We got to our hotel room and I had him unlace my dress, then sent him to wait in the bedroom while I slipped into something sexy. But I was soooo nervous that I kept him waiting for another 20 minutes while I hemmed and hawed about going in there! Finally I overcame my nerves and approached him, wearing a lot less than I’ve ever worn in front of another human being since being a child. Then the actual intercourse didn’t end up being that great (close to awful!) and I was so glad that he was a virgin and didn’t last long because I was praying for it to end quickly. But it’s all good, ‘cuz then we had sex again, and again, and again… And each time it got a little better :]

  80. We waited until our wedding night and had the most memorable night! I will always treasure it. Two years later I still find myself daydreaming about it!

  81. We did. It was sweet and wonderful. But then, we also had a completely low-key, kinda last-minute courthouse wedding with four of our closest friends. I took everyone out for bites and drinks at our favorite bar afterward and we were home by 7pm, totally relaxed and happy. =)

  82. It was all such a blur! He had been gone for a month before the wedding (he was a wildland firefighter at the time, so we couldn’t even talk on the phone). He returned on Thursday, we got married on Saturday, packed a U-Haul and moved 8 hours away on Sunday, then he started law school on Monday. Take all that, add the fact that I was a little bit tipsy, and I honestly can’t remember if we had sex! The only thing that sticks in my head is how terrible the bed was in the honeymoon cabin, it was so cushy that we were basically folded in half as soon as we laid down. It is sad that I can’t remember, so I guess if we did do the deed, it wasn’t very memorable! I’ll have to ask my husband the next time I talk to him (that sounds strange, he is currently deployed)

  83. We did. It was sweet and wonderful. But then, we also had a completely low-key, kinda last-minute courthouse wedding with four of our closest friends. I took everyone out for bites and drinks at our favorite bar afterward and we were home by 7pm, totally relaxed and happy. =)

  84. We did not DTD. Our reception went until 3 am and once we arrived back at our hotel room (with intention of DTD) we crashed! He in his tux and me in my dress. I slept for an hour or so and woke up and decided to take a nice warm bubble bath in our olympic sized bath tub. Hubby woke and joined me a a little later. Hehe…so I guess we have some lovin’ the next morning.

  85. We did. BUT we also chose to abstain during our engagement, so there was NO way my hubs was going to NOT have sex that night haha


  86. Haha I wonder…



  87. We were virgins on our wedding night so we were going to MAKE IT HAPPEN. We planned an afternoon wedding so we wouldn’t be up too late or too tired. After the reception, we headed off to our hotel, changed, grabbed a low key dinner and then went back to the hotel for some fun ;) We weren’t too tired or sick so we ha a great time. Whoo for wedding nights!

  88. We did it 5 times!!! still not sure how that all fit into one night but it was a blast!

  89. Sadly, we didn’t. Too much drama with the wedding party! After the wedding, we headed out to Bourbon street for a hot minute where one wedding guest told off my MOH (deservedly so) and it just sort of put an end to an already not-so-great night. We trucked it back to our hotel room and passed out in our clothes on top of the covers. Womp womp. Wish we could re-do the whole day with different people! ….and sex! HA :)

    I can’t believe how many people are saying they were ‘first timers ‘. Awesome!

  90. our wedding night was our first time! we had lots and lots of sex. sex for days!

  91. I’m not married, so don’t have a wedding night story to share. I am amazed by the number of women responding here who were virgins when they got married. Interesting!

    • I also think this is really interesting! I feel that it is much more common in America though? (No idea if your American or if many of the readers are but just a hunch)

    • This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Definitely not Mormon, but I waited. My husband had had sex before, but it was a personal decision to me, not one I expected him to have made before me, just to respect while he was with me.

    • I’m amazed, too! I don’t know if I’ve ever met anyone who waited…

    • I think it’s very interesting. Statistically, I think its like 3% of Americans. I guess they are all Cup of Jo readers. I live in sin, so I guess I’ll rep the silent majority of non-waiters!

  92. We did! I wanted it to be natural thing and I didn’t want to push it because I was really tired, but I slipped on some black lingerie and it just happened. Not the most amazing sex in the world (first time for both of us), but we sure gave it a good try. And it was nice. The only problem is that I woke up the next morning with a strained back! I couldn’t even walk upright! Guess we weren’t that great at it. Haha. It’s a nice memory though.

  93. Okay, here is my story. My husband and I waited until we were married (we fell into mormon peer pressure at the time, though we are no longer mormon now) to have sex. After the wedding we made it to the hotel room, it was late and we were tired, but it would be our first time having intercourse so we were excited…on my period and having just had a mirena IUD inserted made for the grossest, bloodiest and shortest sex ever. The sex happened so fast and since it was the first time all I thought was, “that’s it?” I put the bloody sheets in a pile, wrote an apology with some cash to housekeeping and we left the next morning to our honeymoon, which was more bloody sex turned into kidney infection…6 years later sex is a million times better. I’d like to say it was romantic that we waited and did it on our wedding night, but I’m not so sure.

  94. I cut my husband off about a month before the wedding, so you better bet he wanted to have sex that night! :) We had already decided that we’d both drink, but not get DRUNK, and in the end it actually worked out great. The strange part was that I cried at the end – basically a complete release of all the emotions of the day – but it totally freaked him out! I had to spend a little time convincing him I didn’t think I’d made a mistake :) 9 blissful years later – I think he believes me!

  95. This is sooo good. I laughed and laughed. Great topic :)

  96. Im so relieved to hear that I am not the only bride who didn’t consummate on their wedding night! Our wedding ended in tears thanks to some family dramas, so sadly my husband and I just sat on the bed in our wedding clothes and cried (me) and ate our body weight in cake (both). It was darn good cake at least!! xx

  97. I got married this summer and we rented a big old farmhouse near the wedding site for the week because we had friends coming from overseas. On the night of the wedding, we stayed up chatting with our friends until the wee hours of the morning outside, on the big wrap around porch that spanned the length of the house. And then we passed out, together, on the hammock.

    • This is AMAZING.

    • oohhh this one is my favorite :)

  98. we had never had sex before we got married, so we were way too excited to get back to the room at the end of the night! we shared a bottle of champagne with our shoes kicked off first, and ate a snack to get our energy up, but nothing was going to stop us doing the deed (twice) the night of! (or a few times the day after…built-up tension for sure!)

  99. I don’t think many of us technically have sex on the wedding night since most people seem to party until the late hours.we definitely were the best kind of smashed and hardly made it to the hotel room,BUT as soon as we woke up the next morning we had hangover sex,3 times!

  100. This is such a fun question and one that I wonder about as well! My husband has arthritis that wasn’t well managed when we got married, so by the end of our night he could barely move! We took a shower together and then he crashed in the bed. I ordered food from room service and we just relaxed. I even had to help him take his shoes off because his hands were so swollen, he couldn’t untie the laces. I felt so bad for him and the pain he was in, but he was such a trooper the whole day! We made up for it during our honeymoon! ;)

  101. We totally did! To be fair, it was an afternoon wedding and the concept of “after party” at weddings is not a thing- in our social circles at least? (It is a small town. Where are you going to go? All the many cowboy bars?). My husband and I went to a fancy hotel, had some amazing sex, then ordered a pizza and I got a bath in a claw foot tub that evening. There are some ups and downs to an afternoon wedding but having some time just the two of us after the wedding was truly lovely.

  102. OH YES. And it was amazing. Both times.

    What I didn’t expect is that since I was a very “involved in the wedding” bride (ie, planned & designed most of it myself), I had INSANE looping dreams about teardown of the whole event. I couldn’t turn the planner part of my brain off!

  103. I definitely didn’t the night of my wedding. We didn’t get back to the room until about 3am and my mother in law kept knocking to see if we knew where my brother in law was. By the time everything settled down, all we wanted to do was sleep!

    • omg, i would seriously hate my mother in law for a long time if she did that

  104. We waited until we got married to have sex, so you better believe we had sex on our wedding night!

  105. My husband and I were both virgins before we got married! We had heard so many horror stories about weddings nights, as well as “first times,” and decided to just cuddle and make-out. Well, it turned out that we were SO ready to take the leap! We have had MUCH better sex since then (4 years later!), but it was still sweet and wonderful! He was absolutely worth the wait. :)

  106. My husband and I were both virgins on our wedding night so yes, we totally had sex. It was scary and beautiful all at the same time. We had been warned that it might be uncomfortable and potentially not even pleasurable but since we were both learning together the exploration and discovery made it a glorious unveiling. After a year of dating and being engaged and forcing ourselves to remain abstinent and even setting up multiple boundaries to ensure we wouldn’t be caught up in a moment of passion, it was so strange to suddenly know that all bets were off and we were able to go the distance. I remember being so trepidatious of him seeing me naked and laughing nervously as he slipped of my lingerie. It certainly wasn’t like the movies said it would be! However, it was this moment of thankfulness and accomplishment all rolled into one. We had honored our Christian values and now were being rewarded with the gift of each other that had never been shared with anyone else. I was so thankful that he had waited for me, it was truly beautiful. Sex wasn’t initially great (we had a lot to learn!) but learning was fun because we were able to do it together. We just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and the sex is better than ever!

  107. My husband and I were virgins when we got married so we definitely didn’t want to wait! We had a small family and close friends only ceremony in the morning and didn’t have the reception until that night. We knew we’d be exhausted that night so we had plenty of fun in between! Definitely worth the wait! ;)

  108. yep! An hour after we fell asleep, the fire alarm at the hotel went off. My husband’s uncle said, “I’ve heard of some hot wedding nights, but this is ridiculous!”

    • Hahahaha that is hilarious.

  109. My fiance and I have talked about this a lot. we haven’t had sex with anyone ever and are waiting until marriage to do the deed. we have both decided it WILL happen that night! i have made very specific rules for the wedding day so that we aren’t too tired and so it is the perfect moment. i am probably building it up too much! it will probably just be awkward! thats what all my friends say!

    • We were in your exact situation and yes, it was awkward! We were both so ridiculously tired anyway that it wasn’t that much fun (I thought “wait, is that it? whatever” and went to sleep). It got exponentially better from there, though, so no harm no foul.
      If it isn’t great the first night, don’t worry. I think the sparks come as you learn to relax with one another, rather than being so uptight about “making it amazing.” :)

    • We were in your situation too! Both of us were virgins. It was awkward, but it lived up to expectations in different ways than I…well…expected. My advice would be to not expect anything, but to just go with the flow and let things happen as they happen. That way it will make for a wonderful night of treasured and intimate memories whether it’s awkward and silly, or sexy and romantic. I look back on it as a very beautiful night, partly BECAUSE of the complete inexperience :)

    • We waited till our wedding night as well. I have to say, I thought I was going to be all over him but I was so exhausted from the wedding and just so happy. My advice is don’t make any plans for the next day (or 2). We had to catch our flight early the next morning for our honeymoon and that was the biggest mistake. Wedding, sex for the first time, horrible sleep, and flight… Yeah, bad idea. If I could re do it, I would stay in our hometown for 2 days, don’t let anyone know and do things around town, and have tons of sex in the hotel, THEN go on our honeymoon. I also had a friend that told her future husband that she would shower and get all ready for first time sex, so it was planned that there would be no rushing and she had her time to prepare. I like that idea too.

  110. I’m so happy, and honestly surprised, that other people’s wedding nights involved burgers! We didn’t leave the reception until 2 a.m., and realized neither of us had a car to get back to our hotel. Some friends offered to drive us, but on the way we were starving (we forgot to eat at our reception!). Our friends took us to Wal-Mart, the only place open, where we bought an array of microwavable burgers and other snacks (in our wedding attire). I’ll never forget taking off my wedding dress at the hotel while my husband got the hot tub ready. When our burgers were done, we sat naked in the tub together, eating our Wal-Mart fare. We laughed then and still laugh now. We were very tired, but the burgers were just enough fuel for sexy time that night. :)

  111. This is hands down the best blog post ever. Maybe of all time.

    • completely agree.

  112. We had our wedding and our reception on two separate days. The wedding was on a remote island where my family has a cabin. Everyone left that night, and we stayed at the cabin by ourselves…and yes, had a little fun! Our reception was the next day at my parent’s house – we were up until 2, and cleaned up after the last guest left. That night we went straight to bed!

  113. so funny and timely considering my best friend got married last weekend! i didn’t even think to ask her!! (now i will ;) we didn’t do it the night of our wedding. honestly, it didn’t occur to me that it was a thing! it was such a fun, wonderful night…so wonderful in fact that my husband got smashed and passed out when we got back to the hotel room. and then i spent the morning after trying to wake him so we could make it to our brunch (we were late :P) but 5 years and 1 little girl later, i’d say it all worked out! my husband often says that night (and the birth of our daughter) were the best moments of his life. i’d have to agree :)

    • ps: now i advise all soon-to-be married couples to have tylenol or something for the morning after!

    • Please don’t mix Tylenol with alcohol! That is a dangerous to your liver. Aspirin or ibuprofen are the way to go.

  114. Our wedding night was our first time, and then our second, and third…well, yeah, we had plenty. We were both virgins, and it was wonderful. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me, because after 4 years, the look hasn’t changed.

    • Aw! That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. :) As well as the cutest with the whole multiple times thing. Sounds completely perfect.

  115. No, we wanted to spend as much time as possible with all our friends since everyone is all scattered around the country. We all went to a bar near the hotel after the reception and stayed out until around 3 am. By the time we got back to the room we were too tired! He helped get the bobby pins out of my hair, I washed the makeup off my face and we passed out. We did have very memorable morning sex before a wedding brunch the next day. :)

  116. We never made it to that on our wedding night. While we had a small wedding, we handled most of the legwork ourselves, so by the end of the night we were exhausted. We made up for it later when we got home the next day, though. ;-)

  117. We conceived our baby on our wedding night! She was born 9 months and 2 days later (on Valentines Day)!

    • Oh my gosh, that is the cutest thing ever! And how perfect! x

    • No sex. She cried. Sixteen years and three kids later, she tells me she never loved me and only married to get away from her mother.
      The second one has lasted 31 years.

  118. Haha, yes we did! We had a big old send-off with sparklers and all from the reception, and went straight to our hotel suite. We knew all of our friends and family would be at the hotel bar for the after party, and we didn’t want to miss out. So we had the most wonderful, giggly, lovely “quickie” – and then got dressed in jeans and went downstairs to be with our friends until the wee hours! It felt perfect.

  119. We SURE did! Our reception was over by 11pm so we spent the evening in our hotel suite ogling over the loads of cash as we opened the cards (we were young (22) and had never seen so much $$) still dressed in our wedding duds. Then the dress came off, lingerie on and we tore that suite up! Afterwards we realized we were starving (since we never ate at the reception) so we broke out leftover tiramisu that had been brought down for the wedding from a bakery in Chicago. We inhaled tiramisu and champagne and talked about the fabulous day. That was 16 years ago but it somehow feels like yesterday.

    • How sweet and fun!

  120. Nope! My husband wanted to but I was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. It was a long, beautiful day and I was over the moon to finally be his wife. But instead we opened all of our cards and I feel asleep. Made up for it in the morning however. Hope that was not TMI!

  121. Nope! I actually had my period and the worst cramps all day (I had midol in my wedding dress pocket along with tissues and lipstick!). We stayed until the very end of our reception (around 2AM), at which point my parents drove us (and one of my bridesmaids) back to the hotel where we were all staying and we all stumbled to our respective suites. The first thing my husband and I did was plop down onto the floor and open up all the wedding cards/count the money, then we giggled and gossiped about some random crazy guest antics (like the one older lady with the see-through dress whose nipples ended up in all the photos!). Then we washed our faces, changed into pajamas and slept so soundly that we were late to our wedding brunch the next morning. It was a pretty perfect night, indeed.

    • Hahaha this made me laugh so hard. Hilarious.

    • I think that’s so sweet and fun!!

    • Yup, same thing happened to me! I had my period on our wedding day. I realized this was going to happen a couple of weeks before our wedding so I warned my hubby. We were both kinda disappointed about the timing, but knew we’d have lots of fun on our honeymoon. We had been together for three years and owned a house together when we got married so this was not our first time at all.

      On our wedding night we checked into our hotel and got upgraded to a huge swanky suite (benefit of checking in still wearing a tux and wedding gown!). We sat on the bed, ate extra wedding cake, opened cards and my husband helped me take the bobby pins out of my hair. I remember us counting the bobby pins (around 50!) and just laughing about the quantity. No sex that night but we had fun. Oh and our honeymoon in Napa was awesome. Lots of fun sex on that trip! :)

  122. My best friend waited until her wedding night to have sex for the first time. Her new husband was also a virgin, and she called me the next day in tears and said, “Is that it? Is THAT what I’ve been waiting years for?!” I couldn’t help but laugh, and then I lovingly told her that it’s better when you aren’t tired and have some experience under (notched into?) your belt.

  123. I totallly did – but I was a virgin and had been looking forward to that day for quite some time as you can imagine.

  124. We had a very small wedding of about 20 people. We wanted an even smaller wedding, as in just the two of us, but we had to invite our close families. As an added plus, I hadn’t seen my husband in a month since he was in the military. Really and truly there was one thing on our minds and it was not the wedding. The ceremony was in a rose garden and then we had brunch at a nice restaurant in the hotel we were staying at. By 3pm we were all done with the wedding and checked into our hotel. We were so excited to be alone it took us less then 30 seconds to remove all clothing. So yes, we had sex on our wedding night, and lots of it.

  125. Excellent question. My partner and I decided not to fool around or have any sexy times in the sixth months leading up to our wedding night. It was insane. So there was no way we were NOT going to do it on the wedding night. It was like losing our virginity the sequel, but it was awesome.

    • Oh my gosh! I love that idea! But how??? Did you just not spend ANY time alone??

    • We did the same thing– once we got engaged, we decided to wait until marriage (since we’d been attempting and failing at that our whole lives…err, we’re bad at following rules, I guess). Basically, we wanted to differentiate as much as we could once we knew this was ending in marriage. We were both exhausted but definitely had sex– hadn’t had it in so long, and it was really nice. :) Four years of marriage this month, and it keeps getting better!

  126. Let’s just say….we “tried”. I was a virgin, so of course you can only imagine. At the end of it I was like “did that count or not?”. xx -b.

    • Aww but that is still so sweet and beautiful. :)

    • Haha. Us too. Good thing it got a whooooole lot better from there. ;)

    • Same here. :-)

    • Crystal says...

      Haha same here.

  127. Yes we did. We got married in Vegas, and after the reception dinner, people kind of split off into various groups to party and we sort of lost track of most everyone eventually. We wandered around the Strip and people kept giving us high-fives and drinks because I was in my dress. Eventually, we realized we’d have more fun in our suite…and we did!

  128. I love Amy’s story with the list of the best moments from the day. I wish I would have thought of that! My mister and I definitely commenced the day with some love making but the details are hazy…We had planned on staying the night in a hotel but the lovely owner refused to honor our reservation when my husband showed up with his best man. We were only 20 when we got married and the owner thought that they were using getting married as an excuse to party all night in the room. So we spent the night at in our apartment together. At about 3:00 AM we stumbled up the stairs to our new home and it was filled with candles, roses, and rose petals were scattered everywhere. My new husband had sent his best man to the apartment to set up for my arrival. It was sweet!

    I really appreciate this post. It forced me to reminisce about one of the best days of my life and the details I completely forgot about.


  129. I was having a hard time being the center of attention and then at 230 a.m. when it was all over, we did the deed. Then, we spent the next two days with just each other, a “mini-honeymoon”. Fabulous.

  130. yep, we did! it def wasn’t the best ever because we were so tired, but i managed to put on some sexy new lingerie and we made it happen ;-)

  131. we were way too tired! i got my hair done at 8am! and i had an impromptu bachelorette party the night before and was awake till about 2am the actual day of the wedding. although i would not recommend that for most, it was perfect for me because i got just tipsy enough to sleep very soundly till my hair appt. but then we were up till 2am, at least. the next day worked out just fine:)

  132. We got to our hotel at about 8 pm (afternoon wedding). We had changed out of my dress at my parents house before going to the hotel (so we wouldn’t have to worry about those logistics and it was literally on the way). We consummated the marriage and then drank champagne and ate an entire to-go container of tarimasu my sister-in-law had packed for us. So fun!

  133. I love this so much! Hilarious. What an original post to put together, thank you!

  134. Me says...

    I laughed out loud at your description of your wedding night, which is virtually identical to what happened on ours. Hands down, best burger I’ve ever had. We were exhausted and starving!!

  135. Me says...

    I laughed out loud at your description of your wedding night, which is virtually identical to what happened on ours. Hands down, best burger I’ve ever had. We were exhausted and starving!!

  136. Great topic – especially since my one year anniversary is this weekend! We definitely did all over that suite ;) The funny thing is though – we had all our friends and family go away for the weekend, so the night before the wedding everyone was discussing the matter, and the majority of them hadn’t had sex on their wedding night and were taking bets on whether we would or not. Then when we came down from the suite the next morning everyone was like…..WELL??? I’ve never had so many people interested in my sex life!

  137. we actually didn’t have sex until our wedding night…. so, yes we did :)

    • That is so romantic! Talk about some built up sexual tension!! Probably just made it even more amazing!

    • same here! we waited until our wedding night, but even then I was so tired I just wanted to go to bed. I wasn’t going to make him wait until the next day though, so I sucked up my exhaustion and made it happen. glad we did :)

    • We waited too! Part of me was so ready to BE HIS WIFE in every sense of the word and part of me just didn’t want to take off my beautiful gown! I took a nice, long, hot shower to relax. I think he was watching ESPN while I put on my sexy nightgown. The first time was pretty fumbly, but that’s what the rest of our lives is for, right? Practice makes perfect. We celebrate our second anniversary later this month. PS We’re really good at it now :-)

    • We both waited until marriage too! We didn’t get to our hotel until 2am and we were both quite tired, but of COURSE we had to do it on our wedding night! It was definitely inexperienced, but wonderfully beautiful in its own perfect way. I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

    • We waited until we married, too. The wedding day was long so our night was short- but it was sweet and meaningful and fun!

    • We were both virgins so having sex on our wedding night was a high priority! We actually scheduled our ceremony/reception to be earlier in the day so that we wouldn’t be getting back to our hotel room really late. We didn’t want to be totally exhausted. The actual act wasn’t superb the first time, but it was really meaningful so that made it special. It made our wedding night really tender and memorable.

    • We were another couple that waited and were both first timers! At the end of our reception, all our younger cousins and siblings “decorated” our car with Oreos, window marker, toilet paper and threw ripped up pool noodles inside. My sweet new husband was so mad that they trashed his car so the whole way to our new little apartment I was worried that it wasn’t going to happen ha! But the best part is that being the poor students that we were and with all the craziness getting ready for the wedding, we only had his TWIN SIZE BED moved in!! Even with the awkwardness and the twin size bed ha it was still amazing and we completely laugh about it now. I wouldn’t have had it any other way either!

    • It’s so awesome seeing more the waiters out there. Thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one to wait! I don’t have a wedding night story to share yet, but hoping one day I will. And yes, it will likely be short, silly, fun, and sweet, too. ;)

    • My fiancé and I are getting married next September and we are waiting till we get married too! Love hearing y’all’s stories :)

    • Oh yes. Waiting rocks. My husband was so cute and obviously wanted to rip my clothes off but also knew he needed to let me give the first cues – I was a virgin but he wasn’t so I called shots and the pace. He was so respectful and sweet – I will never forget it. We’ve been married two and a half years now and when he really drives me crazy sometimes I will think of that night and what a good man he showed himself to be and I relax.

    • My sweet husband and I also waited. We were married after only knowing each other for 8 months – a romantic whim! Everything from dating, to engaged, to married was fast paced, romantic, and exciting. We had an early wedding to make time for you-know-what later and I’m sooo glad we did! He carried me over the threshold, SLOWLY unbuttoned all 72 buttons of my dress (which I was grateful for because I was a very nervous bride), and we danced in the living room until I told him that I was ready. It was a beautiful, slow evening with no pressure. Oh, I still love that man for being so patient and kind!

    • Another virgin couple here… We had a morning wedding (and the reception on another day) so we were ready to check into the hotel by 3 pm but… I was determined to wait until a “dignified” hour (7 pm) for our first time so we saw a dumb romantic comedy in a movie theater! Hahaha It seems so hilarious to me now! I must admit though, the buildup of sitting next to each other in a dark movie theater was pretty steamy. We may not have known what we were doing when we finally checked into our hotel (at 7:01), but it was a truly magical night for both of us.

    • We waited until our wedding night… and then did the deed twice that night and twice in the morning! Worth the wait! ;)

    • My husband & I were together all through high school & got married after 5 years of dating, but we somehow decided to wait until we were married for sex. That wedding night was stressful. I remember him checking into the hotel & I was waiting in the car feeling like I was going to throw up & wishing I could run away. Of course I wanted to do it, but man there was pressure after all those years! It was so nerve racking. As you can imagine it was barely mediocre as we both were completely new to “doing the sex”. And a minute later once the deed was done we both just sat there staring at the ceiling saying, “Seriously? That was it? That’s what we waited for? That’s what everyone talks about? The movies make it seem so much better.” I am proud to say that 13 years later we’ve developed a little more of an appreciation for it, but honestly in hindsight, I’m not sure I would stick to waiting again!

    • We were virgins till our wedding night. Nothing has been more special than only ever being with my husband.

    • i’ve always wondered this too.. mostly because of how exhausted we were after the wedding! my husband & i were both virgins too, so we were totally excited to make it happen that night. he had champagne ready with a raspberry liqueur, i managed to slip into some lingerie.. i have to admit that it was awkward, though incredibly sweet. i could never have imagined how gentle and sweet my husband could be, but seriously – it was a special night, though i would say we only went halfway & enjoyed ourselves much more on the honeymoon.

  138. I think most of our family and friends know that we did not on our wedding night. We drove to the hotel after our ceremony separately and while I waited for him my family was trying to “set the mood” in our room. It was pretty funny, my mom forgot the flowers so took petals from the bouquets. Then my husband finally gets to the room some 30 min later visibly upset. He didn’t have a key nor ID and the people at the desk wouldn’t tell him the room, lol. Once he gets to the room with a migraine I might add he went to sleep and I turned over and watched King of Queens. I’ll never forget it:)

  139. We had a very small wedding in a friends living room, and then later partied with the rest of our gang in the bar of the hotel where we spent our wedding night. We were having so much fun that the last thing on my mind was “heading back to the room”. When we finally made it up, I took advantage of the awesome bathtub and had a bubble bath while my new husband watched cable. Clearly, a glamorous evening. We then passed out from exhaustion (and drinks) and had a glorious nookie-free wedding night.

  140. I had emotionally prepared myself that we weren’t going to have wedding night sex and asked our pregnant friend that drove us home if she could undo the buttons on my dress…my husband is kind of clumsy and I figured he wouldn’t know what to do. And he shooed them out and said he could take care of it. He carried me into the house and up the stairs and tried to get the buttons undone…most are busted now :) but we did have sex…it was more fun and silly than romantic and sexy. He was just like I get to have sex with my wife now! Which totally surprised me that he would be that excited to call me wife, but I loved it! :)

  141. Okay, so this is probably kind of unusual, but me and my husband KNEW we would party too much the night of our wedding… we snuck off mid reception and had sex AT our wedding! It was so fun and felt kinda like our little secret illicit thing. Ever single then, I’ve told my friends who are getting married they should schedule in 20 minutes of “alone time.” for the big day!

    • How scandalous! Brilliant idea though.

    • Oh my gosh! That is awesome!!! Going to remember to do this for sure!

    • this is the best idea

    • That’s excellent!

    • This is pretty much exactly what my fiance and I have planned. Between the church wedding and arriving at the reception, we plan on making a stop over at the hotel room, under the guise of having some couples photos taken.

    • This is the best ever. My husband and I were virgins on our wedding night, so doing the deed took a little more work, otherwise we totally would have done that! Go you. :-)

    • HA! Should’ve thought of this! We were so tired after the wedding (and dealing with MOH drama) that we passed out on top of the covers on our hotel room bed and woke up disappointed! I wish we could re do the WHOLE day with different people :/

    • Love it!!

    • We did the same thing! We took all our photos beforehand because I had read somewhere that it’s nice to have 5-15 minutes to just be alone with each other and reveal in your new marriage. I told the wedding coordinator to find us a spot where we wouldn’t be bothered. Well, 15 minutes ended up being about 45 and a memory we still giggle about

    • I never heard of that before, but it sounds really really great!