What Annoys You About Your Significant Other?

I recently got an email from a reader, who was stressed because her boyfriend gets on her nerves. “I love him, but sometimes he really bugs me,” she said. “Does Alex ever annoy you?” Here’s my answer…

YES. People are annoying:)

Annoying things that Alex does: Sneezes really loudly in the middle of the night (terrifying). Doesn’t take The Bachelor seriously. Takes forever to get through airport security. Never wants to go on vacations to rainy places (even Maine).

Annoying things that I do: Am bossy. Clip my toenails on the sofa. Can be super chatty, especially when he’s trying to read. Am chronically late. Steal bites from his dinner plate. Get inexplicably grouchy when I drink red wine.

Here’s the thing: Over the years, I’ve realized that literally anyone in the world you spend lots of time with will inevitably annoy you. Even if it’s your mom. Your best friend. Ryan Gosling. Gandhi. No matter who you date, they will drive you crazy sometimes. And that’s OK. You don’t have to fear being annoyed.

Alex is wise in his old age:) and last night, he said something great, as we were talking about this post: “Young people in relationships tend to give negative things too much weight and underrate the positives. Negatives often get three times the weight of positives. But look at married couples in their eighties. Their little annoyances are often all they talk and joke about. “Oh, Miriam always says this…” “Oh, Herb always does that…” The little annoyances are acknowledged, accepted and part of the fabric of their relationship. They try act like they’re driving each other crazy but they really can’t live with out each other. Annoyances aren’t a deal killer. They’re a natural part of a long, happy marriage.”
Great answer, Alex. I can put up with your scary sneezes. :)

So, let’s celebrate those annoyances! What bugs you about your significant other?

P.S. Colorful wedding dresses, and to pee or not to pee.

  1. um, what?! how is alex so wise. but this is all so true! simply adore this! what a great and honest post!
    and seriously, the bachelor is very serious ;)
    xo TJ

  2. Anonymous says...

    (from Argentina)
    So true what Alex said! I guess in these days we are all so use to through whatever we don´t use and buy a new one of those easily. Relationships take a lot of effort and only a few get to their 80s together, but it´s worth trying!!!

  3. SarahK says...

    great post and Alex is spot on. My parents are married 40 years and they bicker like crazy. To the point sometimes that it’s unbearable but they love each other to death and would do anything for each other so I know that the bickering is part of how they keep each other on their toes.

  4. The way he scratches his legs, will poop with the door open, will stand in the bathroom while I am pooping and refuse to leave, how he says he cleans the sink after he shaves (ya right), how he will ask me the same question over and over and over just to be sure (he calls this being thorough, I call it being annoying).

  5. What is with loud sneezes? The SNL skit could have been about my husband, who does these dramatic, overwrought sneezes that steal the attention from any conversations/tv shows. He’s also a huge believer in do-nothing days off, which means lots of video games and very few errands getting done. He just looks at me when I get home and says, “But it’s my day off!”

  6. Last week I was really hoping you would do a post like this !!! The sneezing thing is hilarious. Did you see the SNL skit with Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell a few weeks ago where he’s sneezing SUPER loud? That is totally my husband. I laughed SO hard when I saw that skit and he just smirked at me. another annoying thing: he leaves cabinets and drawers open. It is so annoying!

  7. …love this. I’ve been married for a year and a half and it’s funny how many things someone you love does that you don’t notice til you’ve been married for a few months haha. But as I’ve stepped back, I’ve realized that these things make him him. And even though it bugs the heck out of me sometimes, I like knowing I can count on him to do them :)

  8. Anonymous says...

    I laughed out loud. I’m still laughing. Maybe it’s hysterics; my husband is currently seeming overwhelmingly annoying.

  9. My boyfriend of 7 years sneezes so freaking loud… reason to sneeze that loud!! He also gets our dogs super riled up, so that the little one barks a ton. He somehow thinks the dog will understand the difference between being allowed to bark while he’s playing and not being allowed to bark like crazy in the backyard late at night. The dog has NEVER understood the distinction. It drives me nuts that he gets him all wound up.

  10. diana banana says...

    woah woah wait, i’m SURE i would never be annoyed if ryan gosling was my boyfriend…. :)

  11. I can’t stand him eating a piece of fruit – I always say a Besonen eating a fresh peach is my worst nightmare. His brother and sister too…they just get so into and all do the same thing with their mouth. :)

    Alex is wise beyond his years – I really like what he had to say!

  12. I think my husband tolerates my annoying habits (eating cups of ice, for one) better than I tolerate his. One thing that does bug me is his insistence on putting his hands in his pockets as he starts to descend long flights of stairs. WHY would someone do this?????

  13. Joanna says...

    And I give him whiplash with my subject changes. Poor guy doesn’t have a chance when I start talking in the middle of a thought and suddenly switch topics without warning.

  14. love alex’s answer. i also love that a reader asked your advice! it makes sense, though..your blog is like having a chat with an old friend :)

    i am single and can’t wait for what christa called a love that is “lived in”.

  15. Joanna says...

    He walks SO slooowly. :)

  16. Anonymous says...

    My husband always leaves cupboard doors open and never folds the paper back to the front page for the next reader. I back seat drive!

  17. My husband is a scary sneezer too!

  18. I love “old love” how patient and present they seem. I remember walking at the shore once and there was this old (I mean OLD) couple and the wife could barely walk….she was slowly shuffling…and her husband (who you oculd tell was capable of walking much faster) was patiently holdng her arm and helping her along. I heard her appologize and just patted her arm and said “its okay dear…” and smiled at her. Thank God I had sunglasses on – I couldn’t stop crying because the beauty of THAT moment…the patience of love lived in just got me right in the back of my throat. Totally accpeting, totally unconditional. Love that is lived in.

  19. That’s such a great post. You’re absolutely right – everyone, literally everyone can be annoying after a while.
    My husband annoys me when he plays videogames (as he becomes totally unresponsive while doing it). Plus, it also annoys me that he spends far too much time on the phone (he’s Italian, you see) and is always 5-10 minutes late. Always. It also annoys me terribly that despite knowing this I’m always ready on time :) I never learn…

  20. I love Alex’s answer! I totally agree, what I find annoying about my partner are also aspects that I love about him. Even if they make me roll my eyes, they’re also things we can joke about too which is great!

  21. When I was single, I was asking an engaged friend of mine how she knew the guy she was about to marry was “the one.” She said that, in relationships, you will never find the perfect man. Instead you have to pick your battles. When you are tempted to list all of his negative qualities in your head, at the end of the list you have to ask yourself: “Could I live with ____ for eternity?” Sometimes, the answer is no (ie addiction or abuse or differing core values). But when you look at it in an eternal perspective, stealing the sheet suddenly doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.

  22. Alex is so right! As much as my husband annoys me sometimes, I wouldn’t have him any other way. He is opinionated, occasionally arrogant, has no sense of boundaries and can’t see a mess when it’s staring him in the face!

    But he is also gentle, loving, extremely patient, and a better father to our little one than I could ever have wished for. He teaches me things about myself that I am amazed I’m still learning at my age. :)

  23. Piper says...

    My husband of 18 years has a heightened sense of smell which is very annoying–he often tells me and other family members we have bad breath, he can’t stand the smell of onions, garlic or many vegetables cooking, comments on certain facial creams, cleansers and perfumes. It’s something the rest of us are oblivious to and we all agree none of us has bad breath (most of the time) and we love the smell of onions and garlic cooking. It’s tough to be completely odorless. lol

  24. My man is SLOW!!!!! wow it take him 3X as long to do things. But he puts up with me. ahhaha

  25. Not a lot of things annoy me about my boy, for long stretches of time I’ll be perfectly immune to annoyances and then i’ll get in a bad mood one day and suddenly everything annoys me — he’s too lazy, he doesn’t exercise, he doesn’t make an effort to clean the house, he never folds laundry even if I ask… and then I remember how much I love him and forget about those things again.

  26. Anonymous says...

    I get so annoyed when he throws an empty cereal box in recycling with the cereal plastic bag still in it! Drives me nutty or when he puts his bike by our door entrance and leaves it on top of my shoes so they are all deformed looking when I try to wear them! ha I still love him to itty bitty piece ;)

  27. I always love reading through everyone’s comments. I think this is the only blog that I do that. It feels like I’m in on a big conversation with faraway friends.
    Rosie b–I am just like you. I get so chatty right before bed and want to talk to my boyfriend right in his face and wiggle and cuddle with every part of my body touching his. Then he says, “uh…I’m feeling a little claustrophobic.” Then I back off about 3 inches and fall asleep immediately. He’s so patient.

    I get annoyed when he washes the dishes but leaves just a couple things. Or when he does laundry but invariably discolors something of mine or shrinks it! What makes it worse is I can’t gripe too much because he was being helpful in the first place. Argh!

  28. I love that he names the hypothetical old couple, Herb and Miriam. That’s amazing.

    You guys need to get a doggie couple and name them that. :)

  29. Fun post. Great advice to the young from Alex. My Huzz’s incredibly loud sneezes drive me mad! I still jump every time. I’m a sticker for getting places early (which is annoying to him) and he’s always running late. We are perfect for each other.

  30. This post totally warmed my heart! I love it. My husband and I have been together for 12 years, so we definitely annoy each other at times.

    I can’t stand how he has to be constantly moving or tapping something. Plus, he leaves every drawer or cabinet door slightly ajar.

    He can’t stand how I need to be completely not touched while falling asleep (he’d rather snuggle) and apparently the way I load the dishwasher drives him batty!

  31. My bf is so funny because I think he has mild but cute ADD. Whenever he starts something, he’ll get distracted by another thing For example, he’ll leave the laundry half folded, or put half of the clothes into the dryer and then forget about it if he gets distracted during our conversation and happen to want to look up something to prove me wrong. Then I have to remind him what he was doing while he’s reading into it on wiki. haha


  32. Kay says...

    Haha, reading everyone’s comments to this post has been hilarious! And touching, too – which is why I’m commenting even though I usually just read quietly from the sidelines. :)

    My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and it still ASTOUNDS me how he seems to be incapable of finding items that are right in front of him, or lying in a perfectly obvious place. He will ask me where something is, I will tell him to look in a certain drawer, and he’ll look and then tell me it’s not there. Then when I walk over, it’s LITERALLY staring him right in the face!!! This happens at least once a week in our home… honestly!!

    But he puts up with lots of my crazy idiosyncrasies, so I mostly just try to laugh it off. Sometimes it becomes an inside joke, like the time he “lost” his pants after showering. Now we tease each other with “Where are my pants? Where are my pants?!” whenever we can’t find something. :)

  33. @Nikki – I agree with that one! He leaves the bathroom soaking everywhere after he showers. I have no clue how he even does it!

  34. He sometimes wakes up earlier than me and will have these conversations with me while I’m trying to sleep! Then he realizes, says sorry, then keeps talking! It makes me laugh later (sort of!)…but kinda annoying in the moment.

  35. I will start with the thing the thing that most annoys him that I do which is randomly use phrases mostly used by 80 year olds or in the 1800s ie: in a coon’s age, well well well how many wells in a river, Jeeze Louise

    I am annoyed by the way he clears his throat and his inability to rinse his toothbrush before putting it away creating a pool of toothpaste below it.

    But mostly we have after 7 years together decided to define each others quirks as endearing ie his need to decide what he is going to order at a restaurant hours before the meal.

  36. I can’t stand when my husband towels off outside the shower, doesn’t recycle and lets our dogs in the bed. I’m perfect ;)

    My husband does take the bachelore seriously though after his highschool sweetheart was on it last season.

  37. I’m so glad that my boyfriend is so patient with my annoying habits, like my forgetfulness.

    Last week I met my boyfriend for dinner after work. We were on the train home around 9:30pm and I wondered aloud if I had remembered to lock the front door. When we got home, I had not only not locked the door, but not even remembered to close it! It was wide open. Luckily no one came in while we were gone (the mailman had even gently laid the mail on the floor of the entryway), and I was graciously forgiven.

  38. Holy Shit! Did you see the SNL recently that Will Ferrel hosted? There was a skit where he yell sneezed and that completely pegged Nick (my husband:). His sneezes are SO obnoxious and any time I say something he says it feels good and that’s the only way to sneeze. Boys…

  39. beautiful words from alex! made me want to go kiss my husband and tell him how much i love him!

  40. Oh my goodness, Alex’s answer made me tear up a bit. I love this post. I too catch myself getting annoyed by my fiance … but then I think of everything else that I love and the little annoying things seem just that–little. ;)

  41. Alex is a brilliant genius, and also science supports his view:) John Gottman has been studying what makes successful relationships succeed for 20 some years, and his major claim is that it’s not the negatives that make the relationship (ie, everyone fights, everyone is annoying, etc) but rather the emphasis the couple places on the POSITIVE. So nurturing and attending to the positive keeps the inevitable negative from becoming the dominant focus of the relationship.

    Or something. Hope I haven’t slaughtered his theory by over-simplifying.

    Either way, Alex = genius.

  42. I love this post Joanna, a reminder not to sweat the small stuff…my boyfriend always says my name before he speaks to me even though I am the only one in the house and sitting right next to him! grrrr, drives me crazy

  43. Kat says...

    Thanks for posting this! My husband is a chronic offender of eating an entire package of something late at night except for ONE or TWO pieces. I’m always finding boxes of candy or crackers with just one tiny scrap at the bottom. It drives me NUTS!! I’ll try to remember Alex’s words the next time I unearth a box with 6 sad cornflakes left.

  44. This is such a great post! And so true. :)

    I love my husband to death, but he wears old, ratty boxers he wore in high school, mumbles when he talks, and is not an aggressive enough driver for me. :) But he has a million other qualities that more than cancel out these.

    I annoy him too, by swearing when I’m really frustrated, stop movies to look up the actors on IMDB, and leave my clothes all over the bedroom floor. But we make it work!! :)

  45. I love this post. It’s exactly what I needed to read!
    My boyfriend leaves the bathroom light on at least once an evening (the fan in there is really loud). He’s also hopeless at washing dishes. He’s a planner which can be a bit much for me at times -sometimes it’s nice to just see how things transpire. For example, I want to turn a shelf in our kitchen into a bar and when we were discussing it he suggested I draw a diagram of how I want it to look so we can see if it’ll work. I, on the other hand, would rather just tame everything off the shelf and play around with ideas.

  46. Wonderful post – and just what we needed to hear today!

  47. I love this post – such wise words. :-) My hubs also clips his toenails on the sofa, which I could deal with, but then he leaves the clippings on the coffee table! EW! When I find them, I’ll gather them up and put them someplace he’ll notice – like on his iphone – so it’s become a bit of a joke now. Even though it’s still icky.

  48. I got in a ridiculous fight just last night with my boyfriend & in the midst of my youthful insanity I asked my boyfriend if it was worth staying together because we fight all of the time. We do not, in fact, fight all of the time & my boyfriend was fast to call this out. Reading Alex’s comment made me cry a little bit. I am so guilty of weighting the bad things when I know that all of the good things are so so so good. I am now going to apologize & send this to my boyfriend! Thanks!

  49. JenAHM says...

    Love this!

    My husband, bless his little heart, will do the laundry and I absolutely love him for it. But when I go to do it? I see that he has taken the dryer lint and placed it in a neat little pile on TOP of the dryer. Does he walk two steps to the trash can to throw it out there? No, that would be too hard.
    This has been an ongoing discussion since we started living together nine years ago. Just throw it away!

  50. What a great post! I’ve been married to my husband for exactly a year and still worry that the little things might turn into big things. I understand tho that it’s partly my choice to NOT let these things turn into big things.

    I still get furious when I find his old lunch containers stashed in weird places. It’s so gross!

  51. My hubby cannot remember dates and times to save his life — we’ve had to bail last minute multiple times with friends and had to put in for an extension on buying our house, all because he can’t remember dates and schedules other things that he inevitably can’t cancel (usually for work) on top of them.

    We now have an official family calendar, and everything he wants to do goes through his executive assistant first (me).

    It’s something I know I’ll have to manage until the bitter end, but I don’t mind :) Good men like my hubby are hard to find so I don’t sweat the small stuff (anymore – took me a few years to figure that out first).

  52. i think as long as you really like each other and enjoy hanging out with one another…annoyances just come with the package. no relationship is perfect. i totally agree with alex. annoyances are just part of the interesting and ever evolving tapestry the couple is weaving together.

  53. @Alyssa – haha, I’m like the germ police in our apt! My fiance leaves his toothbrush resting on the sink, not IN the toothbrush holder…just leaves it there to collect germs, soap and other things that roam the sinks edge. So gross!

  54. This was such a nice post! My boyfriend has parking charm, its only annoying because I’m not equally as charmed. He can find parking even in the busiest of places…annoying. He likes only the pineapple juice from Trader Joes, nothing else will do. He has a severe dislike for my woolly pocket planter. I still love him like a crazy person, even if sometimes he deserves the stink eye. :)

  55. My hubby is 13 years older than me as well! I have learned to laugh a lot :) as has he!

  56. Such a lovely post! My boyfriend (of 4 years) is Scottish and can take what feels like half an hour to tell a 5 minute anecdote. It used to really annoy me, I’d be sitting there like ‘yeees…. SPIT IT OUT!’ but these days it just cracks me up and if I ever can’t think of the right word or go off on a few tangents he’ll say ‘sounds like one of my stories’. Hehe cute!

  57. i am single now, but one of my top priorities in looking for a guy, is someone who won’t mock me watching the Bachelor. I will also gladly watch Star Wars and Rocky. Just let me have the Bachelor.

  58. Amy P says...

    This is awesome. My husband is often very frustrated with the negative parts of our marriage, and I try to convince him that it’s normal to have a few parts that aren’t perfect. He doesn’t really believe me yet. Hopefully with time he won’t mind that we get annoyed with each other over some things :)

  59. I love this post too! Thanks for it :)

    My fiancee does a million things that drive me nuts and I try not to nag him (’cause that’s one of the things I do that drives HIM nuts). But I agree, we’re both continually working on accepting each other for these small faults because ultimately we love each other and are a team.

    Something that we acknowledge a lot about our relationship is that I am pretty independent and can deal with the fact that we don’t have all the same interests while he can sometimes dwell on that and get down about it. I sent him this post to remind him that we should not only celebrate the positives but also our differences :) I like being part of the team but I also value my individuality.

  60. Anonymous says...

    I feel very strange saying this but I’ve lived with my husband eight years and I don’t know anything he does that really annoys me. Honestly! We always get along. One time our neighbour three doors away asked me if we never fight. I said no. She had asked me because the neighbour who lives next to us had told her she had never heard us argue once in five years. Lol!

  61. My boyfriend has butter fingers sometimes and drops/spills things. THe first time he went to my mom’s house…he dropped the mojito she made him all over her carpet. Oops. We also had to switch to plastic drink-ware since all our glass ones broke due to his slight clumsiness! Sometimes it’s so annoying!!

  62. Thihi, thats a nice post. My boyfriend always says that it is his turn to choose a movie when we go to cinema. And lots of other things. But I’m the same think, I do often things that are annoying for him and my friends. But I really love him, he is the best person I’ve ever met and I want to live with all these little things as long as we could stay together. (I wouldn’t go to rainy destinations too. But we live in Austria, we do have enough rain)

  63. My finance also sneezes super loudly! Scares me every time. He also acts likes it’s impossible to dice onions, garlic, etc. and I always end up doing it for him because his attempts are so pathetic.

  64. haha Malia, my husband totally leaves his beard trimmings all over the sink/counter, too! And I have to clean it up!

    Sometimes I really hate that my darling husband is so PERFECTLY neutral and logical ALL THE DAMN TIME. So, I have taken to informing him when, “I know I am being irrational and moody and not fair but I need you to hear my side of the story and totally back me up right now. ANd later you can tell me all the things I did wrong in this situation.”

    Sometimes it drives me crazy, but I actually think he makes me a better person. Once, in our 11 years together, his fairness was a problem. But it was a fraught situation and personally, I was more pissed at the other person involved for trying to drive a wedge between my husband and I. And really, in the grand scheme of things, his maddening fairness is also something I greatly admire!

  65. rach says...

    People annoy me very very much and I married my husband because he annoys me least of anyone I’ve ever met. ; )

  66. I totally agree with everything in this post – I love your honesty! Have you read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Committed? She says, “People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’?”

  67. I love this. Alex is so right too. It’s scarily easy to let a person’s negative traits outweigh their positive ones. If you dwell on them, they definitely will too. No one is perfect, and it’s always better to look at the positive :)

    xoxo, me

  68. Mersey says...

    Lol-I second the loading the dishwasher properly! I always complain that my boyfriend doesn’t help clean the house, but then when he loads the dishwasher I always go behind him and re-do it. I’m sure it’s an annoyance for both of us!!

  69. Twice today you have made me laugh…Twitter and this post. Great post and a profound answer by Alex indeed. It’s true…perfection is impossible to reach…and annoyances turn into funny stories later on in your relationship/marriage. Love it!

  70. Love this post! My husband loves to leave his worn socks EVERYWHERE – I feel like i’m constantly picking them up!

  71. Anonymous says...

    GREAT post … Alex’s comment is especially poignant. A gentle reminder.

  72. Anonymous says...

    My husband pees in the shower every morning, no matter how many times I ask him not to….disgusting. And puts the suitcase on the bed. But he puts up with all the shoes I leave in the hallway!

  73. I hate when my husband leaves his beard trimmings on the bathroom sink, ick!

  74. My boyfriend’s throat always itches (sensitive to allergens) and he always makes this obnoxious noise in his throat SO loud ALL the time. God, I’m irate just thinking about it.


  75. That’s such a great quote by your husband and it’s so true! We tend to focus too much on the negative, not the positive. Although I’m not in a relationship (anymore) I know in my next one, I will be a lot more grateful and positive!

    For the Record

  76. Such a brilliant post! My best friends have some seriously annoying habits but at the end of the day you remember all the things you love about them and why they’re your best friends in the first place!

  77. Brilliant post! The Bachelor part was hillarious! :) But, wow…Alex’s input was outstanding! Loved it! xoxo

  78. Susan says...

    Alex’s quote really hits the nail on the head. I’ve been married for 20 years and my husband always reminds me when he is gone from this world that I’m going to miss all of his crazy and quirky habits that I find annoying – the coffee cup collection in the car, clothes and socks always inside out when he throws them in the laundry, dresser drawers always open. Kinda puts things in perspective, huh?

  79. My husband has what I call “Attention Surplus Disorder,” where he cannot change gears for the life of him. He can’t multiask! Even talking while driving is downright dangerous. He’ll slow waaaaaay down while gesturing wildly… about something we started discussing back at home. ARGH.

  80. oh wow. this all makes me feel better. technically i’m in an unofficial relationship with my best guy friend (my choice) and he drives me bonkers. he is my best friend but holy moses if that boy eats food off my plate or drinks the rest of my ice water without asking i want to call it WW3. also, he takes up 2/3 of the bed with his pillows, puts the keys in the center consul when i specifically ask him to hold them which causes the prius to go off when i try to manually lock it, and he washes his jeans like once a month (yuck! lol)….to name a few hahaha

  81. I love how Alex used “Herb” and “Miriam” as his old people example names. :)

  82. Anonymous says...

    Love the blog! Just think it is funny how you suddenly turned Jewish for this post….with the picture of Woody Allen and the reference to “Herb” and “Miriam” as the older couple. And you are more than welcome as an honorary member of the tribe. Love the blog and again thanks for all the great ideas and sweet links.

  83. My husband and I have been together 21 years come August 23rd. I do get so annoyed by him, but then I’m faced with something super serious like… his stroke a few years ago, or my open heart surgery coming on Monday and… I cannot imagine my live without those small annoyances because without them, I would have missed the greatest love.

  84. #1 annoying thing my husband does – Never says that a meal tastes good even if he’s thinking it in his head. I love to cook and sometimes put hours into preparing a meal and then he doesn’t say a word about it. I’ve told him that this bothers me and sometimes I say “Wow Kelly. That meal was delicious!” I guess food just isn’t important to him. He ate cereal or PB sandwiches every night before we got married. LOL.

  85. My husband clears his throat all the time! Drives me bonkers, especially when I’m already grumpy.

  86. I love this post! My husband gets home from work and immediately leaves a path of clothes: his jacket on the banister, his belt on the bottom stair, his shoes on the kitchen floor, his socks on the living room couch…it drives me crazy! But I’ve learned it takes less energy to just be entertained by it than to let it enrage me. (He says I have “chicken wings” when I sleep-appartenly I sleep on my stomach with both my arms bent crazy-style taking up all the room :)

  87. My boyfriend has scary sneezes too! I hate that, but I love him :)
    We’ve been together for a long time and I’ve learned to live with his idiosyncrasies. I’m sure he had to get over some stuff I do too. Healthy compromise is key to having a long-lasting relationship. That, and true love and respect.

  88. My boyfriend is pretty terrific, but he has a bad habit of asking me questions and then just answering them himself before I can say anything! Buuuut, he puts up with my massive drooling in my sleep habit, so I’d say he’s a keeper.

  89. Ah yes! I love my Johnny but he does annoy me, walks around in his thin boxers, picks at his face in front of me (I don’t want to see that!), and eats too fast. But he’s my annoying Johnny and I love him.

  90. love this post. alex is a keeper joanna.
    p.s. i talk too much and get grouchy when i drink red wine too:)

  91. I just adore that comment from Alex. I couldn’t agree more.

  92. Great post and discussion.
    My fiance who I love to death can be especially annoying sometimes. He plays xbox for way too long and takes it way too seriously. He loses his car keys at least 5 times a week. He screams in his sleep lol
    I am also annoying. I am bossy as well, Take my career and fashion too seriously, I have a bad shopping addiction (from Bergdorfs to Dollar Tree), I am so anal with order and cleanliness. But such is love, we have to accept these things.

  93. My fiance eats bananas really loudly. With eat bite, I can hear the saliva hitting the sides of his cheeks while that banana crushes under his teeth. And even though knows I hate it, he continually sits right down beside me and cracks open another ‘naner.

    If I didn’t love him so much….

  94. I skipped a step on a treadmill at the gym once when someone sneezed too loudly. I thought I was going to go flying off the back of the machine!

    My husband annoys me when he chews on his hands (bites his nails and cuticles), leaves a light on when I’m trying to sleep, comes home later than he previously states and bugs his eyes out when he’s making an argument! Some of these things get funny when we look at them in retrospect :)

  95. We call those ‘endearitations’- qualities that you find irritating but after a while they eventually become sort of endearing too because it’s part of what makes them who they are- things like being super anal about crumbs on any surface (my husband!) or taking an hour to fully wake up in the morning (me). Good post- we need to be reminded that it’s ok to be human and let your significant other be human too.

  96. My husband takes FOREVER to clean – I always catch him in the bedroom, half-folded tshirt in hand and staring at the tv screen like he’s frozen in time. I’ll say, “matt what are you doing?” and he’ll snap out of it and say, “oh, sorry, got distracted.” It takes him days to do what would take me a few hours.

  97. LOVE that comment from Alex. You are such a great blogger Joanna. My inspiration!

  98. My husband sometimes tunes out what I say, and then suggests it moments later as if it was his own idea. It drives me bonkers. BONKERS ! He may be faking it just to get to me …

    Like you, I am bossy and chronically late. Also, sometimes I talk in my ‘teacher voice’ — he hates that.

  99. What a sweet post. And so so so true. My husband doesn’t take the bachelor seriously either ;)

  100. My husband Alex ALSO doesn’t take the Bachelor seriously! I’ve tried to ban him from the room when I watch it, but one of his favorite things to do is sneak back in and make snarky comments. Also, he has this tendency to choose a loud snack item from the kitchen (almonds, apples, etc.) and absentmindedly stand over the chair I’m sitting in crunching away – drives me up the wall! And the worst part is, I realize I’d sound crazy if I said “stop eating so loudly!!”

  101. I think a great way to deal with this is to give yourself a night away every once in a while. A girls night or maybe just a night for you and nobody else.
    Sometimes we forget how much we need our own space.
    My husband and I totally have our little things that we do, but at the end of the day there is nobody else I would rather grow old with.

  102. This is one of my favorites posts you’ve ever done out of SO many amazing ones. :) I guess life would be pretty boring if it were wiped of annoyances. My husband is trying to deal with the way I “hypotenuse” the bed. I get the diagonal, and he gets the corner. He’s a good sport, though!

  103. My husband is the most wonderful guy ever, but of course he annoys me sometimes. He never notices when the recycling piles up; he wants everyone to love the things he loves (I can’t get excited about baseball); he forgets that you need to buy more groceries to have a well-stocked fridge. Whenever these things bother me, I remind myself that he has so many good qualities that outweigh these little annoyances. He buys surprise dessert when I’ve had a bad day; he gives backrubs (even though I want them all the time); he always tells me I look good, even when I’m wearing shabby pajamas. It’s easy to get caught up in little annoyances, but it’s also important to look at the big picture.

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  106. also, not going to maine is NOT an option.. hit me up for references.. i know that state very well and especially the best places to go. it’s also very sunny there most of the time.

  107. herb and miriam… excellent choices alex!

  108. Great post and great thoughts from Alex. :)
    After 17 years together and almost 10 years of marriage…the list is long.
    He: never closes a drawer or cupboard, refuses to part with anything or throw it away, eats all the sweets in the house after I go to bed and is a germaphobe.
    Me: organizes to the point of sickness, purges the house constantly, buys way too many groceries and shares a spoon with just about anyone. We are a perfect pair.

  109. Andrea L says...

    Alex’s response is just so sweet!

  110. rosie b, i’m the same as you:) geena katherine, you sound so cute:)

  111. My fiance never closes a damn cabinet! haha He just saunters around the kitchen opening up cabinets and not closing them…. makes for a slightly unpleasant time cooking together (I have literally ran right into an open cabinet when turning around quickly for a spice)

  112. Lauren says...

    Ahh! Vacations! I’m with you there. My partner hates HOT destinations – he’s super pale and prone to sunburns, so he never wants to travel anywhere beachy. All our trips involve skiing or grey, rainy cities!

  113. i’m currently single, but in the past?

    not turning the shower head off when he got out of the shower! what a shock first thing in the morning to reach in, turn on the water, expect it to come from the bottom faucet and cold water BLAST right on your head.


  114. sometimes he gets jealous but he has no reason to be! i’m head over heels in love with him, just a super independent and outgoing person.

    xo the egg out west.

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  116. I love this blog post! :) My most annoying habit (according to my boyfriend) is being really excitable and chatty and hyper when we go to bed, and then falling straight to sleep whilst he takes ages to nod off! His most annoying habit is most definitely forgetfulness!

  117. LOVE your husband’s answer! Wise beyond his years ;).

    and the Ryan Gosling comment–so funny.

  118. honestly maybe im just cranky but my boyfriend takes forever to make a decision
    i have to be bossy and make it for him.

  119. I’m SO GLAD so many other people out there have partners that sneeze super loud too!! It embarrasses me in public ;)

  120. Thank you for this! I think we all need reminders sometimes that it’s okay to be annoyed at our significant others!

  121. My husband never fills up the water jug and doesn’t put his utensils in the dishwasher, he puts the plates but NEVER the utensils. I don’t get it, haha. I, on the other hand, drive him nuts when I take a bath but don’t put the shower curtain back on the inside of the tub when I’m done. Silly things that we don’t even really realize we do.

    I think that a successful marriage means learning to love (or at least appreciate) your significant other’s quirks. I think life would be kind of boring if we did things the exact same way as everyone else.

  122. @Avy: this is why you and I are both single

  123. my husband is over the top frugal, never throws anything out, picks out “perfectly good” food out of our kitchen trash to eat and has a hard time pronouncing a hard “a” (he is Greek):)

  124. This is refreshing. Alex sounds like a wise man – you’re a lucky girl :) My boyfriend is older than me as well, and I definitely like having him around to give me advice. But yeah, there are some things about him that bug me. He is way too go-go-go in the morning, and I am so not a morning person. It sometimes bugs me how he’s (almost) always right lol. And one totally silly little thing – he swirls fizzy drinks and it drives me bonkers because I love fizz and that kills it haha.

  125. My boyfriend and I are both fairly laid back people who each have our own little things that bug us, they just happen not to overlap. He hates when I wear my shoes in the house, I hate that he doesn’t know how to load the dishwasher properly, etc. The only thing that really bugs me is that he has a habit of not mentioning details that I consider important–for instance, asking me to meet him somewhere and giving extremely vague directions (he’s terrible with them), or neglecting to mention that he invited a friend over for dinner. I often blow up about it at the time, but I know that learning how to go with the flow more will only be good for me.

  126. Wise words and very romantic! I wish someone told me that when I was younger…

  127. My mom once told me that some days she’s madly in love with my dad, and other times she may just feel like he’s her best friend. Then sometimes they are roommates, and then sometimes she just can’t stand to be around him. Hearing that made me feel so much better about ALL relationships. We are human! And nothing is ever perfect when she share your life with someone — anyone! I think hearing this advice put me at ease. Now I’m able to put my husbands annoyances in perspective … and I don’t feel TOO bad when I’m annoying because he feels the same way. GREAT post! LOL about The Bachelor :)

  128. that’s such a great way of looking at it! i totally want to be in love with all the annoying things my partner does…it’s no fun otherwise! :)

  129. Amazing post. I have been a follower of your blog FOREVER, but never really comment since I see that you have 100+ comments ;)

    Alex made an amazing point and the things that annoy be about my husband often annoy me even more when I am looking for them. Sure, I HATE that he is so nonchalant about things sometimes, I have that he isn’t as eager to save money as I am, but I love his so much that they are not deal breakers. We have built this amazing life together and I intend to weather the storm of those crazy days and annoyances. I know I do plenty to annoy him :)

    I might do a spinoff of this post, which will of course link back to your page.

    Thank you for your insight! Your posts are always so refreshing

  130. haha, i sleep diagonally, too, jenna! but i can’t stand touching someone when i sleep, so poor alex is totally on the edge.

  131. Oh and Tim sleeps diagonal. This seems to be a habit he can’t break.

  132. Joanna, I loved this post! It kinda makes me want to write down the things that annoy me about my bf (but not make a list of my annoying habits).

  133. love this post so much, thanks:)

  134. My fiancè is soo indecicive sometimes. Drives me nuts. But I just love him….<3

  135. Tooooooooooooooooooooo many things to list!!!!!!!

    Very sensible remarks by Alex! :)

  136. My husband snores in the night and can not wash dishes correctly. It drives me out of my mind. But he tries to be better/do it less often and I love him for it :)

  137. My husband takes all the lunch food with him to work. Awesome. So now I have nothing to eat on my lunch break.

    Then I’m grouchy.

    Can you tell this just happened today? I’m starving…. :(

  138. haha, kate, true :) and annie, I KNOW! holy, my heart is always in my throat!

  139. annie says...

    I agree. loud sneezes are terrifying…even in the office, much less when I’m asleep!

  140. Tell me about it–Gandhi is SO annoying to live with! That part made me laugh-thanks!

  141. Perfectly stated and perfectly correct.

  142. Great post and I love the images you chose to go with it, especially the Woody Allen one!

    “Doesn’t take “The Bachelor” seriously?!”….LOL!!