1. love this….or the kale salad, but you don’t want to seem the girl who only eats rabbit food, but you just really want a damn salad.

  2. My last few dates out at resto-bars ended in a battle of “are you hungry?” “umm not very hungry, do you want anything?” “Should we just get some small apps?” “Only if you want something.” Which is worse than any offense committed while actually eating food. I now order whatever I want (salad, burger, whatever) and almost always offer to pay the whole tab. I’d much rather spend my money on someone who agreed to show up on a date and get to know me than waste my time sitting there hungry (even hangry). I know it seems aggressive for a woman to pay for a whole date, but nice guys almost always rip my card out of the waiter’s hand or at the very least insist on contributing their share.

  3. Kristy says...

    “or the the dish you really want but prefer to enjoy in peace” hahaha

    yeah.

  4. Mari, as always you’ve outdone yourself. One of my favorites to date! xox

  5. Heather says...

    Went out for lunch today while Christmas shopping with my hubby of 10 years. I asked the waiter which he’d prefer between two meals…he said the one but gave the disclosure that it “could get messy”. I told him that this wasn’t our first date and to bring it on. My spouse was not at all surprised. And I’m happy to report I kept the mess to a minimum!

  6. Lauren S says...

    HA. When I was dating, I always got PENNE pasta (specifically penne or an alternative that didn’t involve twirling long strands and inevitably splattering sauce everywhere) with white wine. Tried to avoid garlic and onion. Now I’m married so I order whatever I want, and my husband makes sure to point out every time I spill something on my shirt. True love.

  7. Cara says...

    Haha love this. Not red wine because it will stain you teeth.

  8. Kate says...

    Haha- spot on! I can especially relate to the “market price fish.” I once went out with this a-hole who asked me to an expensive restaurant for a first date. Silly me, assumed he would pay, as he worked in tech and probably made three times what I did. BUT, at the end of the meal he wanted to split the bill! I was pissed. Needless to say, he didn’t get a second date. Also, I decided from that moment on that first dates should always be coffee! :)

    • Brianna says...

      Just make sure the guy you’re going on said first date with actually drinks coffee. I went on a first date with a guy who did not drink coffee, but took me out for coffee and ordered apple juice for himself. It was beyond awkward.

  9. Anna says...

    Two words: NO LEGUMES
    (ONLY when you are ALONE!)

    • Katharine says...

      Haha amen!

  10. This is hilarious, and so so true!

  11. Carolyn says...

    love this….or the kale salad, but you don’t want to seem the girl who only eats rabbit food, but you just really want a damn salad.