Motherhood

Toby and Anton in Conversation

Toby and Anton in Conversation

What cute things have your kids said recently? Three-year-old Anton and six-year-old Toby are always chitchatting, and it can be surprising to hear what’s going on in their heads. Here are a few things they’ve busted out with recently…

“I hurt my foot thumb.” — Anton, after stubbing his big toe

“I’m walking slowly because I have so much boxes in me because I turned into a mail truck, and that’s why am walking slowly.” — Anton, when I told him to speed up a little

When my mom was visiting, the boys asked her if they could have dessert every night. “Mommy says you can only have dessert on Fridays,” she told them. There was a pause. “But you’re Mommy’s mommy,” said Toby. “So, really, you’re the boss.”

Me: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Anton: “A Volkswagon.”

Alex: “How old is Mommy?”
Toby: “67.”
Anton: “18.”

One Sunday morning, Alex gave me a kiss in the kitchen.
Anton: “Don’t kiss Mommy!”
Alex: “But she’s my wife.”
Anton: “SHE’S ALL OF OURS!!!!!!!!”

Me: “Toby, do you know your full name?”
Toby: “Tobias Paul Goddard-Williams.”
Me: “Anton, do you know your full name?”
Anton: “Antoni Bomboni.”

What about your little ones? Also, this list of “23 questions to ask your child” would be fun to try.

P.S. Talking to kids about sex, death and everything else.

  1. Roxana says...

    This is hilarious. The stuff they say is truly precious. Your boys are adorable.

    I have a hard time keeping track of all the things my 5 year-old son and 3 year-old daughter say.

    That said, she just came-up to me and showed me her stuffed giraffe and said “This is my baby. I got her on sale!” ‘Cause, you know, everything is better “on sale.” Incidentally, she was holding her Star Wars light saber in her other chubby little hand while showing me her “baby.”

  2. Mindi says...

    I’m a teacher librarian, and sometimes I wish I could carry around a recorder; my students say the funniest things! A few gems from this past week:

    – I was reading aloud a book that mentioned the Titanic. It was to a group of kindergartners, so I had to do a very quick explanation. One boy raised his hand, very urgently, so I called on him. “I know who was on the Titanic,” he said. “Oh? Who?” I replied. “Jack and Rose.”

    – A second grader who is very high-spirited came out of the bathroom with a big red lightning bolt on his forehead. “Hey, Harry,” I said (referring, of course, to The Boy Who Lived), “who gave you your lightning scar?” I thought he’d say that his mom drew it, but instead, without skipping a beat, he replied, “Voldemort.”

    :) Best part of my job.

  3. It is great when they are little… and you can laugh, and even better share it on facebook. However my seventeen year old has said some really funny things recently, and I find them just as funny as when he was three. He had to pay for his first oil change… even used his birthday money to pay for it. A week after his birthday he complained about how he didn’t get anything fun for his birthday…and that he even had to pay for an oil change… and “it wasn’t even a good oil change, it only last for 3,000 miles.” Then he came home to exclaim how great his tax return is going to be this year, because his boss took $10 out of his last pay check. Kids are so funny… here is one that came to mind reading this.
    http://karypics.blogspot.com/2010/12/middle-finger.html

  4. Alice says...

    My 2 and a bit old is learning ‘I’ and ‘me’ at the moment. Sometimes he just says I… and gazes into the distance. It’s kinda mind blowing!
    He says ‘what happened?’ a million times a day, which makes life fun because something has always just happened but it’s easy to miss. He likes ‘probably’ too which is pretty easygoing!

  5. martha says...

    Love these!
    I’d flown out to CA to see a dear friend and her five year old whom I’d not seen in person since he was a toddler. His mom was telling him about the early days of our friendship back in Denver when, young and carless – we’d get dressed up to go out to dinner and then hop on our bikes to go to the restaurant of our choice. He thought about this for a moment, and then commented with great solemnity
    “I like to dress casual when I ride my bike”.
    Oh my heart….

  6. Lauren says...

    This is so sweet!
    My 3&5 year old boys call swear words “square words.” It’s always said with such conviction!

  7. When my son was about to turn 7, he was stalling at bed time. He called from his room, “Moooooom!”
    “What, Jake?,” I said annoyed.
    “Mom, I just realized something…”
    I knew this trick and was not having it. “Congratulations!” I snapped. “Now PLEASE go to sleep!”
    After a few minutes, he says mournfully, “But I really want to tell you…” his voice trailing off, sadly.
    I remember this moment very clearly because I was getting angry and was ready to yell at him but instead I took a deep breath and said calmly, “What did you *just* realize?”
    With a smile in his voice he chirped, “Mom, I realized why boys don’t go into the girls bathroom.”
    This time I took the bait. “Really? Why?”
    “Because the sign on the door says ‘Wo(ah)! Man'”
    Not expecting this answer, I burst out laughing. Not that generic Mom laugh but a genuine, sincere, belly laugh. Surpised at my reaction, he broke into hysterical laughter too and the two of us, each in our respective beds, filled the dark house with infectious laughter. This later became the, “Remember that time when I made you laugh SO hard” story.

    I was so grateful that I didn’t let my temper get the best of me or we would have missed out on what has become a precious family memory and my all-time favorite corny joke.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, this is the cutest thing. i’m laughing out loud!

    • LAIS says...

      julia, I LOVED THAT!

  8. My nanny-girl, who just turned four recently explained to me that, if ever someone were to steal my purse, I’d just have to go to the cashier (at the supermarket) and ask her for new money. Also in summer she saw a dog waiting for it’s owner in front of a shop and asked “Where is his grandma?”. When an elderly lady came out and took the dog’s leash she exclaimed “Look! There she is!”

    • HAHAHA

  9. beth says...

    OK, this one is from my 16 year old trying to convince us that we need to buy a new microwave – “But it’s so old! The Faraday Cage has probably completely crumbled!”

    But maybe you have to be a family of scientists to find that funny?

  10. Joanna says...

    My 3 year old says a ton of hilarious stuff but lately he says in a whisper “mummy, I have something to tell you…”.
    And I’ll say ok and he says “My love rectangles”. Er, ok, me too?! Love him to pieces.

  11. Jamie Thiel says...

    I love that Toby figured out that Mommy’s Mommy should be in charge, of course! It is so much fun to listen to how little people think! I was walking my dogs a few weeks ago and my neighbor was gardening with her little ones. The youngest girl, probably 20 months wanted to meet them and asked their names. After a proper introduction of my dogs her older sister (age 6 my guess is) piped up and told me that their dogs name was, “Zippy.” She went on to explain, “Yeah, my dad forgot to train him so every time he gets out he runs away as fast as he can! That’s why we call him Zippy!” Needless to say, her Mom and I just looked at one another and had a good laugh!

  12. Julie B says...

    My four year old when we took a long walk and made it all the way to the duck pond: W doing it! We’re really doing it! I’m so apressed with us. So apressed! I’m crying with joy, Mom!

    Discussing the Christmas parade: Oh, are you talking about the one where Santa Claus was sitting with that weird grandma person is never seen before? Santa Claus’s mommy!

  13. Laura says...

    My sweet three year old daughter has recently been caught saying, “damn it,” in perfect context -when her legos break or her orange juice spills. It’s both terrible and hilarious. Though my mother doesn’t think it is funny at all.

  14. Jean says...

    Just this morning while hugging my three year old boy I said “I love watching you grow bigger and get older”. His response was a hug back saying “I love watching you grow bigger and get older, too”.

    • Bahahaha!

  15. My three-and-a-half-year-old son loves solving mysteries, so when his shoe went missing, he was on the case. I asked for a description of the missing shoe, and he gave a fantastic one: “It’s the shape of my foot. It has a thing for toes to go in. And it’s about the size of a small birdhouse.”

  16. Stephanie says...

    My 3 year old just recently stopped exclaiming “Her said yes!” if I agreed to something . He also, just this morning, sang “I scream! You scream! We all scream for ….CRACKERS!” uhhh???? ok!?!?!

  17. Last night at a neighborhood Halloween party, I was helping a friend’s 2-year old son go to the bathroom. (It was quite the entertainment as I am not experienced with little boys – I had to call in for reinforcements!). After he went, he immediately jumped off the toilet, yelling “I want to push it!” He was mesmerized by the toilet flushing – as soon as it finished he looked up and exclaimed, “It works!!”

  18. Toby’s “but your Mommy’s mommy, so that makes you the boss” is the best thing I’ve heard all day!

    My recent favorite is my 5 year old stepson making a jack o lantern with a yarn mustache singing a made up song “Mu-mu-mu-mu-mustache man. Mu-mu-mu-mu-mustache man”. That kid…..

  19. I just printed out those 23 questions for my step-kids to fill out instead of making homemade birthday cards for their dad this year. I’m excited to see their little hand-written answers! :)

  20. Laura says...

    Our boys are horrible at going to bed. They share a room now and sometimes I’ll hover at the door and listen for a while. Here’s a conversation I captured between my 3 year-old and his 5 year-old brother.
    T (3): Mommy! I have to tell you something!
    Me: (through the door): What?
    T: I have to tell you in here.
    Me: (Cracking the door) What is it, T?
    T: (Whispers) I love Daddy.
    Me: Great, I’ll tell him.
    T: I love you, Mommy.
    Me: I love you too, Toby, goodnight. (shuts door)
    J (5, in a mood): I don’t love anybody, even myself!
    T: Pop-pop?
    J: No.
    T: Light bulbs? (said slightly mispronounced)
    J: Yes, I love lollipops.
    T: No, light bulbs.
    J: I love light bulbs.
    T: Poop light bulbs?

    • This is SO funny to me, because my 5 year-old stalls at bedtime by making poop related jokes and comments too, including “poop on a lamp” which he thinks is HILARIOUS.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha what is it with the bathroom humor? my boys are always saying “buttman.” randomly. even just putting on their shoes and i’ll hear them absentmindedly whisper, “buttman!”

  21. Sophia F. says...

    My husband leaves to work out very early in the morning, so he will generally leave his clothing for the next day at the bottom of the stairs at night and then change downstairs to avoid waking up myself or our daughters, leaving the clothes he slept in in a neat pile on the stairs. My just-turned-three daughter looked at him one morning and said “Daddy, you need to learn to clean up after yourself. I don’t like that you leave your stinky clothes ALLLLLLLL over the house. We don’t want to live in squalor.” I about died laughing.

  22. I love these!!! My three-year-old always has some gems.

    “I’m tired of you counting when I’m not listening.”

    (after my husband apologized to her about something) “It’s okay. You just have to be nice to me and not ask me to do things.”

    (after telling her I’m getting frustrated with her behavior) “You just have to take a deep breath and count to four. It doesn’t have to be a big problem. You have to be really calm to solve your problem.”

    (after seeing a black and white photo of herself) “Am I brown now?”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg she sounds so cute!

    • China Hoffman says...

      your three-year-old and my three-year-old must be having secret meetings . . .

  23. Nyree says...

    My 5 year old uses “Usually” for everything like “i usually want to go to the playground but usually I will play crash cars.” When he was 3 instead of Thank You, he would say “Much,” as in, Thank you very much.

    My younger song will say “mama i have to say you something” and in a whisper will put his mouth to my ear and either just breathe, or say “tomato”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg tomato. i love it so much!!!!

  24. Auste says...

    I love these so much. Kids are amazing.

    Our oldest (who just turned 4) was watching the debates with us and Trump went on a tangent talking about China. She turns to us and says, “mama, why does he keep saying vagina?” …. ha!

  25. Elise says...

    Antoni Bomboni!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha! My three year old likes the moniker Bobby Banoli (his name is Ewan though so I’m not quite sure where it came from).

  26. Megan says...

    As we were getting ready to go to church my 3.5 year old said, “‘my body wants to go to church, but my mind is saying play.” Haha.

  27. Sasha says...

    Very cute! I feel like we’ve been seeing those leggings for a couple of years now, you must have gone through a few sizes!

  28. Mae says...

    Oh Anton and the mail truck. I had to put my hand on my chest for that one. Oh my heart!

    At mass, our priest was giving the homily, talking about the Jews in the bible. My 2 year old turned to me and said “I LIKE JUICE! And ice cream too!”

    Another one of my favorite things is how my littles pronounce certain words. I don’t want to correct them ever because it is just so darn cute! Some of my favorite:

    high-nigh-nee-nuhs (hyenas)
    ele-fuh-dants (elephants)

    • MissEm says...

      Ha – speaking of church comments, my two year old replaced the words of the doxology (i.e. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow…”) with the word poop sung over and over at the top of her lungs. 🙄

    • Mae says...

      Ha Ha Ha Missem!! Oh I can just imagine!!

  29. patty blaettler says...

    My little boy used to snack on cheese slices which were individually wrapped. He would ask for a “Krap single, please”. I loved it so much I never corrected him.

  30. Lisa says...

    My son is too young to come with comments, but he does seem to have a sense of humour. One day I asked him if he wanted to go to sleep. He went “ha ha” and shook his head. Another time when I was at my beautician’s which he lives – I go and have my appointment while he hangs out with the owner and other clients. I came upstairs and he was surrounded by people, chuckling away. I said to him “do you want to come home with mama?” And he shook his head.

    I’m 20 years older than my niece, so on my 24th birthday she was 4 years old. She asked me how old I was turning and I said “24”. She then said “when I’m 24 [like it was the oldest age known to man] I’ll also live in London like you do. But I’ll be married” [pitying look]. It’s pretty harsh being burned by a 4 year old

    • Mae says...

      Oh Lisa! “But I’ll be married” [pitying look]

      This made my day!

  31. Natalie says...

    This adequately cheered me up! Thanks, xo!

  32. My 5-year old is into making her own jokes now but they have no punch line. Gotta laugh at them anyway.

  33. Emily says...

    One of my favorites from my son who was 3 at the time… thinking about going to a drive-thru restaurant. “Mama, let’s go to one of those talking places, and I will talk for a milkshake.”

  34. Kelly says...

    “Antoni Bomboni.” = hilarious!

  35. My little one’s knock knock jokes are to be rivaled. Mostly when they are to eachother. Isaac is almost 6 and Julian is 2.5.

    Isaac: Knock knock!
    Julian: *Enthusiastically* Who’s there?!
    Isaac: Pineapple!
    Julian: *even more enthusiastically* PINEAPPLE WHO?!
    Isaac: Pineaple *says a bunch of garble and laughs hysterically*
    Julian: ………..ok Isaac.

  36. Rachel says...

    My mum once asked me when my name was (when she was trying to teach it to me) and I said it was “Little Poppet!” I also apparently once said that I lived in a tunnel with Thomas (the tank engine)!

  37. Diane says...

    My husband and I just had a conversation last night about Melanie Griffith and that she was once married to Antonio Banderas… so I did a double take when reading Antoni Bomboni and it cracked me up. Still laughing.

  38. These are seriously my favorite posts on your blog.

  39. Janelle says...

    I love it!
    My five year old said, “Mommy, I’m so excited for you to die so that I can go to an orphanage!”
    (She just watched Annie a few weeks ago)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg! hahaha… KIDS!

  40. Alex McKellar says...

    Antoni Bomboni…..Ahhh I’m dying here! Kids say the best things. Blessings to your and your little ones xx

  41. Kate says...

    Precious! My 22 month old only has a few words, but the latest one is sis (which is like yuck in South Africa). When anyone is cooking in the kitchen and spills on the floor, he points at the mess, looks solemnly at me and says “Sis Mama”. It’s too cute.

  42. Haha! so so sweet <3

  43. India says...

    hahaha I love the logic that your mom is the real boss haha! With that comment I hope the boys got dessert every night you were away!

  44. elenor says...

    One day my pre-schooler was walking in to school and said, “Look Mommy, those kids match”. I said, Are they wearing the same clothes?” And she said, “No, the same bodies.”

    They were twins.

    • HAHAHA. Lol’ed at this.

  45. Jay says...

    Our power blinked out the other day and my 2.5 year old was like,
    “Wassat???”
    Me: Oh, the power went out for a sec.
    “Went out in the backyard?”
    No, honey, it didn’t go in the backyard…it…*thinking*
    “Went up the fireplace.” *very conclusively*

    Kids, man. :)

  46. Val says...

    My three year old after farting : “my body just burped”
    :-)

    • Maeve says...

      My 3.5 yo says that too. Except it’s my bum just burped. Ha!

  47. Phuong says...

    Antoni Bomboni! OMG my face hurts. Your kids are precious.

  48. virginie says...

    So funny!
    Antoni Bamboni ?! this made me laugh out loud !
    I have 3 kids, and although I have a pretty good memory, I sometimes regret not taking time to write down all these funny words they said when they were little. This is such a lovely idea Joanna.

  49. Claudia says...

    When my niece was little, my sister and I were riding in the car with her. She was in her car seat and we were up front chatting about someone putting their house on the market. Out of nowhere this little voice pops up from the back seat and says, “oh so if they need groceries they can just go downstairs?” She’s 26 now and my sister and I still talk about how precious that was :)

  50. Kate says...

    I was giving instructions to my husband when my 4 year old interrupted and said “you need to be more specific” ….

  51. MA says...

    Antoni Bomboni!!!! That will be forever his nickname. And what a good name it is.

  52. Michelle D says...

    This is so precious! What bright little boys! I’m so excited for my two daughters (2 years old and 4 months old) to start talking like this!

  53. Amy says...

    Hahaha! I love these posts so much. I have kids ages 5, 3, and 1 – and every time I see one of these posts I remember to keep writing down the stuff they say. It’s priceless! My son (3) has a speech delay so I’m missing out on a lot of the hilarious things I’m sure he’s saying – if only I could understand them. Thankfully we’re working with a speech therapist now and he’s catching up fast!

    • Meghan says...

      My 3 year old has a speech delay as well.

  54. Maeve says...

    Love these! My 3.5 year old daughter often says “I’m boring!” when she really means she’s bored. One day a while back she had to go potty – I asked her, “do you have to go very badly?” She replied, “No, nicely!”

    My husband has a little notebook that he uses to record some of the funny and memorable things she says.

  55. Maybe this is TMI–my 2 year old daughter took one look at my newborn son’s, ahem, parts, and told me matter-of-factly, “He’s got eggs on his vagina.”

    • Lindsay says...

      Hilarious!

    • Jules says...

      This is amazing.

    • Justine says...

      Best.Thing.Ever. You just made my day :-)

  56. Charlotte K says...

    Antoni Bamboni! Of course!

    Love it when kids talk to each other.

  57. Laura says...

    Last night after we put my 3-year-old to bed we heard him talking from the other room. Listening carefully we realized he was chanting “candy, candy, candy!” Needless to say he’s been counting down the days until Halloween!

    His name is Nash and he got the nickname Nashy-Noodle at daycare because of his undying love for pasta. We sometimes go around the family at dinner and do this silly thing where we say “my name’s Laura and I’m the mom,” “my name’s Ben and I’m the dad,” etc, and every time he busts out “my name’s Nash and I’m the Noodle!”

  58. Emily says...

    LOVE Anton’s full name ahaha!

  59. Kelsey says...

    Too funny! I love how inventive kids can be. I wish I didn’t see everythin so black and white. What I look forward to most about having kids are these moments.

  60. emily says...

    A few years ago my friend was asking her daughter if she knew all of the family member’s full names. She got her own name right, nailed big brother’s, knew her dad’s name, but when it came to her mom’s name, she paused and said, “…Um, I know! Mominator!”

    • emily says...

      I’ve also just remembered that parents used to watch her son when he was little and he was a little sponge. When he was old enough to start playing make believe, he’d always have one of the toys yell, “Carl, I’m busy!”

  61. cgw says...

    Convo w/ my tween daughter the other week:
    Kid: Am I going to have children? Can I choose a boy and a girl?
    Me: I dunno. Maybe. It’s a choice for when you’re older. But not everyone has children, and not everyone wants children, and that’s ok. It’s a huge responsibility.
    Kid, thinking a bit: You know what? I don’t want to have children anymore. Because it means I have to be responsible for it like you’re responsible for me, right? Like you have to cook for it, and you have to help do their laundry, and make lunches. I don’t want to have to be responsible for someone else, just me.
    Me, suppressing a chuckle: Fair enough. Good you know that about yourself.

  62. AJ says...

    A Volkswagon! Bless!! 67 and 18 cracked me up the most haha!

  63. These always crack me up and make my day/night! Thank you!

  64. Annelise says...

    The “Antoni Bomboni” quote made me laugh out loud… too cute!

  65. This is the sweetest. Love these conversations.

  66. B says...

    Haha!! I love these!!

    Me to my 2.5 year old: Mila, put your undies on please
    Mila: I’m putting my socks on, okay?! I’m putting my socks on – so don’t whinge! Okay?!

    HAHA!

  67. Anne says...

    My grandson calls “tighty whities” — “tiny-whinies” I never want to correct him!! It makes me smile every time he says it.

  68. Elizabeth says...

    Adorably hilarious <3

  69. Jessica says...

    I love “foot thumb.” I taught elementary Spanish immersion for six years, and the word for toe, “dedo de pie,” translates to “foot finger.” They thought that was the greatest joke on the planet for the rest of the year.

    “I put all five foot-fingers in my boot!”
    “I have a bandaid on my foot-finger!”
    “I’m touching you with my stinky foot-finger!”

    PS–Dibs on naming my indie rock band Antoni Bomboni.

    • Laura C. says...

      From a Spanish one: tell them that the “foot thumb” in Spanish is actually called “dedo gordo del pie”, which translates in “fat foot finger”.
      And you’re done for the rest of the year! :)

  70. Oh I LOVE that comment about your mom being the real boss. So funny!

  71. Some of these are really cute, but I don’t think anything is ever going to top “ANY BEARS?”

    That conversation was HILARIOUS – and such a sweet look into Toby’s obviously wonderful imagination. (I mean, on top of everything else, you were in a high-rise apartment in the middle of NYC, lol.) After all these years we STILL use that line and laugh about it every single time (yes, we are easily amused!), especially since we have a retired (and now in the house almost all the time) stock dog named Bear. :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, i love this! :)

  72. Lindsey says...

    Our 3-year-old, when the cat was trying to get her to play: “Mommy, this cat is REALLY getting on my nervous.”

    And asking about her baby brother after school: “Did you watch an eye on him? Did you tell him that you love him and you’ll never ever leave him?”

    And bounding into the kitchen after getting dressed for school: “Well don’t I look just beautiful!”

    • Angela says...

      Love all of these!!!

    • Debbie says...

      Hahaha, these are so lovely!! Kids are the best x

  73. Kathryn says...

    My little girl is just starting to talk but the other day when I went to get her from her crib I said, “Good morning Princess!” She pointed to herself and said, “Prin?” And I said, “Yes! You’re my princess!” And she got the biggest, most delightful smile on her face :)

    And thus started the game infertility princess phase in our house haha

  74. My little one isn’t talking yet but my little sister (4 at the time) had a battery in her hand and was chatting away. My mom asked what she was doing and her response was “Playing with my best friend”… My mom literally came home 4 hours later with a rescue dog! hahaha

  75. Ulla says...

    Last night my 2 1/2 year old son was having trouble falling asleep. After coming out of his room for the umpteenth time, I picked him up, gave him a squeeze and said, “Try to turn your brain off so we can all get some sleep”. He looked completely baffled and terrified and said “But how will I turn it off? My brain has no buttons!”. It was hilarious.

  76. CP Patrick says...

    “She’s all of ours!” That just made my day. :-)

  77. I love when you share their conversations! Toby & Anton you’re the best!
    Luna-ism’s lately (3.5 yrs old):
    “Mom here comes my handsome husband.”

    “Mom you are my sister.” <She may be trying to drop subliminal messages….

    Do you get in trouble at school? "No mom, I am the good one."

    "Mom guess what? I went poop at school." Did you wipe yourself? "Nope."

    xo Lendy
    http://www.twoplusluna.com

  78. Vicki says...

    Oh, these are the sweetest! I just met a mom at the park with six (!!) boys — and a seventh boy in the belly! They were a glorious pack, all those sneakers on the jungle gym had me in awe.

  79. Lindsey M. says...

    My niece invented the word “chudders” when she was 4 or so, and it was her term for friends that “love eachudder”. I wish it were a real word!

    • emily says...

      That’s my fave!!!

  80. Prathi says...

    My favorite kids, B(5) and Q(2.5), listening to “yesterday”:

    Q: She didn’t tell him where she go!
    B: She had to leave and go really far away, not just to grandma’s. She had to take a train.
    Q: Yeah, she went far away! Love, he said it’s an easy game to play.
    (pause)
    Q: the crossing guard said hi to us.

  81. Dorothy DeMaria says...

    “SHE’S ALL OF OURS!!'” That is adorable. When my nephew was small he refused to try Egg Nog. I kept asking him why he wouldn’t just give it a try and exasperated with me he finally said “cause I don’t like egg and I don’t like nog”. We still tease him about that every holiday season

    • That’s my favorite one too:).

  82. Mac says...

    I looove the funny things kids say! Here are our most recent:
    “This is why I don’t like loud music! No one can hear me when I’m talking!” (Nothing could be worse!)

    Draining the dishwater from the sink, G had this (creepy) conversation:
    “All bubbles to the ocean!” “Ahhh! Not the ocean!” “I don’t care! Don’t tell me your names!” ” I’m Angela!” “Too bad Angela, you’re going to the ocean too!”

    And little sister, at the petting zoo:
    “Bum! Neigh-neigh! Bum! Neigh-neigh!”
    Translation: “Put my bum on that horse!” She really, really wanted to ride the pony.

  83. Kate says...

    Thank you for this. I was having an anxious moment, and these hilarious quotes helped me to laugh!

  84. What do they say when you ask them what your name is? I love hearing my kids say our actual names LOL. My sister always calls her husband “babe” or rather bellows it across the room. When her daughter was young I remember asking her what her dad’s name was and she said “baaaabe!” LOL

    • This is exactly what’s happening with us! haha!! We recently met my husband for lunch & my 3.5 year old daughter ran to him and yelled Hiiii Babe!

  85. Carrie says...

    My nephew calls Chips-ahoy “Chips and Joy”. Thought that was pretty stinkin cute!

  86. Laura C. says...

    Antoni Bomboni has bsolutely made my day.
    My little girl who is three like Anton, goes mad when she sees my husband kissing me. She always runs toward us and tries to separate us, she is so jealous of me!

  87. Kristen says...

    Several weeks ago my dad, Grandpa, told my 2-year-old son that his nickname for my mom, Grandma, is “Da-nana-banana” (her name is Diana). Lately we’ve been reading this book and there’s a monkey character whose name is Banana Eater. So the other day we were asking our son to name people in the family:
    Me: What’s Grandpa’s name?
    Son: Jim!
    Me: What’s Grandma’s name?
    Son: BANANA EATER!!! (laughing hysterically)

    2-year-old son watching football:
    *notices player with long hair out the back of his helmet*
    Son: Wowwww, mama! That lady run fast!

    *sees a tackle*
    Son: Hey! No pushing!!

  88. Blair says...

    I work with all ages in educational programming at a zoo, and my favorite conversation with a six year old girl recently went like this.

    Her: What is a baby seal called?
    Me: Great question! I think it’s called a pup.
    Her: Oh, that’s what baby ghosts are called, too.

  89. Sarah says...

    My son (2) uses “probably” in front of most statements. “I’m probably going to eat dinner” and also is now into recreating events and saying they happened “just like this!” – followed by some absurd body movement and usually ending in laying on the floor. Recently he waltzed into daycare and told his care provider that he saw “jack o’laterns in the grass eating tacos!” Still unsure about that one. Ha!

    • Debbie says...

      My son uses ‘actually’ in almost every sentence nowadays. “I am actually going to lie next to you.” When i picked him up from daycare the other day he sighed and said to me: “Mommy I actually don’t want to miss you everyday.” Too sweet!

  90. Haha little people are so hilarious. It’s one of the downfalls for having moved to NYC our little nephew is in the UK saying all the funny things without us!

    http://www.englishgirlinnewyork.org

  91. oh, sooo precious talks )))

  92. i almost spit my la croix across my keyboard at work. those are fantastic! what a wonderful memory and keepsake to jot these down regularly.

  93. Natalie T. says...

    Anton’s such a ham! The “She’s All of Ours!!!” Comment is the best! I also love that Toby thinks you’re 67! This is my favourite series out of everything that you do.

    • Jen says...

      When I was in kindergarten, I came home and told my mother how shocked I was to find out my kindergarten teacher was “so old–26!” When my mom asked me how old I thought she was, I quickly replied, “16!”

    • lynn says...

      When I was in second grade I was telling my teacher a story about my dad, when he was ‘middle aged’ and when they asked what middle age was I said he was twenty something. Dad was about 44 and divided by half was twenty something – makes sense to me!

  94. 7 year old P: I’m gonna ask Chana [our occasional babysitter] to take me to see The Lion King.
    Me: Honey, I don’t think Chana is going to agree to take you to a Broadway show.
    P: Why not? She took me to Duane Reade!

    • Maeve says...

      That’s hilarious!

  95. Kate says...

    I love these! Your boys are just adorable. I’m a children’s librarian and I just can’t get over how quotable my little ones are. It makes my life so much more hilarious.

  96. Steph says...

    These are so great! Not a mom, but my nephew brightens my day constantly with his comments…my sis in law was explaining something complex to him the other day, and he interrupted her and said “mama, in layman’s terms please” (he’s 4!)

    • Anna says...

      Love this! Hilarious and cute!
      Also Anton Bombini definitely made my day!
      xo

  97. Caitlin says...

    Joanna, you have the absolute cutest little boys! I love hearing about their little conversations, keep em coming!

  98. Corinne says...

    My husband and I driving to grandma’s house one day, explaining about “mommy’s side of the family” and “daddy’s side of the family” to our two little ones.

    Me: … so Grandma Anna is on mommy’s side of the family and Grandma Naomi is on daddy’s side. And your cousin Matt is on mommy’s side of the family and your cousin Ben is on daddy’s.

    Jake: So which side of the family am I on?

  99. Kid quotes are my favorite thing in the whole world!

    I have 2 kids, a girl named Winnie (4) and a boy named Alfie (2) and the things they say kill me! Especially when they talk to each other!

    W: Alfie, do you like taking ballet?
    A: YEAH!
    W: What’s your favorite part?
    A: The air conditioning!

    A: You’re a silly guy!
    W: I’m not a guy! I’m a WOMAN!

    W: Alfie, don’t look at the sun with your binoculars or it will get into your eyes and your eyeballs will get dead.

  100. Kim says...

    We have a Joanna Bo-bana at our house. She swears that’s her “full” name. She’s 2.5.

  101. “foot thumb” bahahahahaha

  102. i love love these posts! my little guy is talking up a storm these days and it’s so fun. the other morning, we’re talking about moving into our new apartment soon and he says “mommy, let’s eat so many bagels in our new home!” another recent favorite was (as bob dylan played on the radio) “i like bob dylan, he has a lot of toys.” one that made my heart sink was as we were listening to npr, “who IS donald trump?!”

  103. Kerry says...

    My 6-yr-old found a lady bug recently and he said, “Hey, what’s this again? A woman bug, right? Isn’t that the polite thing to call it?”

    • Emily says...

      This is the cutest!! How sweet he wanted to make sure he was being polite.

    • Sarah says...

      Be still, my heart!

  104. Jenna says...

    When my 4 year old daughter gets a lingering injury she say’s it is “beeping”. Which is kind of a really accurate description! :)

  105. Lauren says...

    I never get tired of reading these. Antoni Bomboni! Amazing.

  106. Amy says...

    Holy Moly. I love love LOVE these conversations. How much fun is it to be a mom!

    • Amy says...

      Just have to amend hat comment after dealing wth *fun* teenage and nine year old drama. How much fun it is to be a mom, but sometimes you want to hide in the closet quietly with quiet(so as not to be fund quickly) comfort food and your phone reading Cup of Jo.

  107. Natalie Brennan says...

    My nephew got his first watch but can’t actually tell time. Every time I ask him what time it is, he says, “11:50.” haha

  108. Karen says...

    YAS!! These posts brighten my day! Thank you!

  109. I’m an elementary school teacher and I hear such sweet and funny things all the time too! I really should make a habit of noting some of them like this.
    One from last week…
    Student: Look at what I found outside!
    Me: What is it? Let me see…
    Student: (in a whisper) It’s a baby coconut
    It was actually a walnut seed :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg so so cute! i love anything whispered, you know it’s going to be great :)

  110. Liz C says...

    Ha! Kid convos crack me up!

    I wore a set of false lashes Saturday night and set them on the edge of the sink when I got home. My little guy (4.5 yo) walked in Sunday morning and spotted them. “MOM! Did you… kill a moth?!?!”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha love that!

    • Jamie Thiel says...

      Thanks for making me bust out laughing with that one! No moth’s have been harmed!